Different Reasons NOT to have an affair with a MM!

[Owl]

Thanks Owoman.

 

Its interesting that you value friends higher than you do family.

 

You also value friends higher than you would value someone you'd consider having sex with.

 

I think this is part of the "disconnect" between your values and those of other posters here.

 

Most (I'm assuming here...LOL) people tend to value family first. And most consider "lovers" a more exclusive relationship than friendship.

 

I wonder if this is a cultural or a personal difference in values? Just curious, and none of this is intended to draw you out into an attack or bash. Your views are different than mine, and other people that I know. Just trying to understand them.

[vivrantflo]

Cheating men and OW deserve each other. Nothing anybody will say will convince them otherwise and any decent man with a brain will avoid these women like the plague so let them be. They wear it like a badge of honour but really it's just sad and pathetic.

 

 

Yeah, I see that!!

 

Even one of these "women" offered to pray for me! lol And assume that because I posted with affirmation, they assume that I'm not happy with myself..lol Unbelievable...

[Dark-N-Romantic]

1) You have no problem with someone from intruding in on a loved one's marriage.

2) You think someone willing to be an adulterer or adultress even if it is one of your loved ones.

3) You would back an adultery partner if they were hurting one of your loved ones or if your loved ones were hurting someone else.

4) You feel that an outside person is justified in ruining the relationships of your loved ones and your loved ones is justified in ruining someone else's marriage.

5) It is okay that one of your loved ones to be married to a cheating spouse that is emotionally hurting them.

6) That is is okay for that spouse to cheat on them if they feel the marriage is not what it should be or may be lying to them.

7) You will tell your loved ones that it was all the cheating spouse's fault and that the partner who knows they are married is right in continuing their relationship with your loved one's spouse.

8) And if the spouse of one of your loved ones cheated and they claim they have a "reason" you would back them up.

 

Wow. Yeah. Um. Okay. I don't know how I would feel if I had a friend or family member like you, especially if you were my mother. On the one hand I could get away with a lot of dirt. But, on the other hand, you would allow someone to hurt me and be okay with it and justify their wrongs.

 

 

DNR

This is why I said what you said. Because I am hoping that your not really that wrong to those in your life. I did not expect you to speak your true feelings anymore as you so proudly did before.

[Lookingforward]

Thanks Owoman.

 

Its interesting that you value friends higher than you do family.

 

You also value friends higher than you would value someone you'd consider having sex with.

 

I think this is part of the "disconnect" between your values and those of other posters here.

 

Most (I'm assuming here...LOL) people tend to value family first. And most consider "lovers" a more exclusive relationship than friendship.

 

I wonder if this is a cultural or a personal difference in values? Just curious, and none of this is intended to draw you out into an attack or bash. Your views are different than mine, and other people that I know. Just trying to understand them.

 

Why is that a surpise owl? Too many of us share the saying "you can't choose your family, thank god you can choose your friends". There is a LOT of irreperable harm done in the name of family with a capital F

[Owl]

I wonder if there's a correlation between those that place other relationships over family and their role in the "affair triangle"...and the others and their roles in the 'triangle'? Makes you curious if those views were part of the decision making process to become involved in an affair, or in fighting for a marriage, or what. Ya know?

[Lookingforward]

I wonder if there's a correlation between those that place other relationships over family and their role in the "affair triangle"...and the others and their roles in the 'triangle'? Makes you curious if those views were part of the decision making process to become involved in an affair, or in fighting for a marriage, or what. Ya know?

 

Owl, I know where you're coming from , but not every M is WORTH fighting for, ya know ?

[White Flower]

I wonder if there's a correlation between those that place other relationships over family and their role in the "affair triangle"...and the others and their roles in the 'triangle'? Makes you curious if those views were part of the decision making process to become involved in an affair, or in fighting for a marriage, or what. Ya know?

Perhaps you come from a family who has always been there for you and continue to do so. I have a good family, but most have died off. I have a sister left and a dying brother who lives far away. If I didn't have friends, I would be completely alone in this world except for my children. My friends are extremely important to me.

 

FYI, exMM, in the fall of his life has both his parents and his W has both of hers. They STILL receive monetary aid/gifts from them. I'm sure they appreciate all that they have, but wonder how much of their lives they appreciate.

 

I, in the summer of my life, appreciate waking up each day; and I thank God for my friends.

[OWoman]

Thanks Owoman.

 

Its interesting that you value friends higher than you do family.

 

You also value friends higher than you would value someone you'd consider having sex with.

 

I think this is part of the "disconnect" between your values and those of other posters here.

 

Most (I'm assuming here...LOL) people tend to value family first. And most consider "lovers" a more exclusive relationship than friendship.

 

I wonder if this is a cultural or a personal difference in values? Just curious, and none of this is intended to draw you out into an attack or bash. Your views are different than mine, and other people that I know. Just trying to understand them.

 

Social rather than cultural, I reckon. I belong to an urban tribe where people lead an atomised existence. To us, friends are the family you choose. Blood families are scattered all over the globe.

 

Presently, I have no idea where any of my siblings or one of my parents are, having last seen them years - if not decades - ago. I am far closer to my in-laws and out-laws (both MM's family, and the family of my xH) than to any of my blood relatives, because our values are closer and we have more in common. I have nothing in common with someone merely because we share a name, some chromosomes or skin colour. Right now, aside from MM, my closest friends are "nothing" like me at all in superficial terms - we are different genders, different races, have different home languages, grew up in different places, are different ages and grew up with different religions. Even today, differences persist - we'd likely vote differently (if at all), we have different theoretical perspectives from which we argue vehemently, we dress differently and we live in very different areas. Yet our core values are resonant, we choose to spend immense amounts of time together physically or virtually, we speak intimately and openly, we love deeply and value profoundly.

 

Because friendship is based on choice rather than obligation, bonds are stronger. IMO anyway.

[Woggle]

I consider my friends to be my family more than my blood as well but I wish that was not the case. I would love to have blood family that I can be proud of and actually enjoy spending time with.

[OpenBook]

Friends are for life, and I wouldn't want to shift them into the disposable category by shagging them. If I valued the friendship, I'd want to retain that. Friends are closer to me than family, so the idea of shagging a friend I find incestuous.

 

:laugh: I completely agree with this... just couldn't put it into words nearly as well as you did, OW!!