MIL pushing us to buying a home

[mopar crazy]

W/ fuel prices so high we need to seriously think about buying or renting a home in town or closer. We have lived in the country for 5 years. I grew up in the country and my dream was to live in the country again. My H didn't try, had no desire to try to buy us a home in the country for the first 11 years of our M. I felt pushed into buying a home by his mother that I was not happy w/ and I wasn't. Now, she is trying to do it again. Every time they come to visit the drive through town and she calls me telling me about the houses for sale. I grew up in this town, I know the neighborhoods, know what neighborhoods are not good, etc. When I tell her she gives me a "OH" like I am suppose to jump at the chance to buy this house. Anyhow, of course she calls again to tell me about two houses. One is beautiful but way out of our price range. The other I don't know about but it's for sale by owner. Nice neighborhood from what I remember. My dad even said he wished he would have taken some time to come down and look at the house

before we bought it b/c he would of told us not too. My dad knows a lot about houses, he has helped build all three of his past and present homes.

 

I am currently waiting on a house in the country (but closer to town) that will be coming up for rent or sale by owner b4 the end of the year. I have drove by it, really like the looks from the outside so I am keeping my options open.

 

I realize that gas prices are causing a huge strain on our budgets, it's causing a strain on every one's. But I am not buying a house on a whim. If I am going to spend that kind of money I am going to be happy in it. I DREAD moving back to town but she keeps pushing it. My kids don't want to move to town either. She is apt about us buying in town and no where else.

Is it any of her business what we do?

[norajane]

Is it her business? No. Might she have reasons to want you and her and her grandchildren in town? Sure. Is it closer to where she lives? Maybe she is coming from a good place and wants it to be easier to see all of you.

 

What does your husband want? He is the one who should tell his mother to reign in her enthusiasm. And he can tell her what your plans are - to rent or buy the house closer to town that you have your eye on - so his mother is aware of what he intends and wants to do.

 

Just be honest with her, and if she persists after that, just ignore it. I don't see why you and your husband need to feel pressured to do anything - how can that even happen if you both agree on what you want? YOU are allowing her (probably) well-meaning home suggestions to get under your skin and make you feel pressured. No on can make you do anything you don't want to do.

[mopar crazy]

Is it her business? No. Might she have reasons to want you and her and her grandchildren in town? Sure. Is it closer to where she lives? Maybe she is coming from a good place and wants it to be easier to see all of you.

 

What does your husband want? He is the one who should tell his mother to reign in her enthusiasm. And he can tell her what your plans are - to rent or buy the house closer to town that you have your eye on - so his mother is aware of what he intends and wants to do.

 

Just be honest with her, and if she persists after that, just ignore it. I don't see why you and your husband need to feel pressured to do anything - how can that even happen if you both agree on what you want? YOU are allowing her (probably) well-meaning home suggestions to get under your skin and make you feel pressured. No on can make you do anything you don't want to do.

 

jane, she doesn't even live in the same state we do. Her reason, and only reason, for us to move to town is b/c of the fuel prices.

 

My H wants to stay in the country, however he realizes the fuel prices are effecting our budget. I realize that they (gas prices) are hurting us too but I don't want to move into town to a house I am will not love. This house will be the last house we will probably purchase so I am going to want to love it. I settled w/ the first house we bought, I wont settle on the next one.

Thank for the advice!