whateverwillbe Posted July 13, 2008 Share Posted July 13, 2008 LOL - oh so TRUE Glad someone got it. Unfortunately, it is so true, even though I did say it being the sarcastic person that I am. Link to post Share on other sites
Lookingforward Posted July 13, 2008 Share Posted July 13, 2008 I've fallen in love online AND in the "real world" - funny how the feelings and emotions are the same Link to post Share on other sites
Dark-N-Romantic Posted July 13, 2008 Share Posted July 13, 2008 Love can come in the most strangest of ways. And can happen so fast that there is not time to know each other. You don't need to met someone to be in love with them. There are those who have found love upon a chance meeting and know that connection was there. My mother told me of a few people in my family who got married like that a long time ago. No dating. No time taken to get to know each other. And yet they are still married. DNR Link to post Share on other sites
whateverwillbe Posted July 13, 2008 Share Posted July 13, 2008 I've fallen in love online AND in the "real world" - funny how the feelings and emotions are the same Me, too. But being in love online can be frustrating. You can't touch them. You can't laugh with them, because you just saw something that you both thought was bizzare. You can't smell them. And most importantly you can't just hold them, when you or they need a hug. Link to post Share on other sites
Lookingforward Posted July 13, 2008 Share Posted July 13, 2008 Me, too. But being in love online can be frustrating. You can't touch them. You can't laugh with them, because you just saw something that you both thought was bizzare. You can't smell them. And most importantly you can't just hold them, when you or they need a hug. True but also true of any LDR - I do think if you fall in love online you should meet asap to see if the chemistry is still there..... Link to post Share on other sites
Dark-N-Romantic Posted July 13, 2008 Share Posted July 13, 2008 I didn't find any frustration. My long distant love and I and my second girlfriend (who I spent in like a 4 month phone and internet contact before I met her for a week), but in both cases we laughed, cried, shared experiences, loved, argued, and everything. So, love is not limited by range, nor is the ability to express and stir feelings. But I do agree with you on one point... There is a that missing PHYSICAL side that is missing. Nothing can replace the physical sensation of shared intimacy (not speaking from just a sexual point of view). DNR Link to post Share on other sites
SaraLovesHerAndy Posted July 13, 2008 Share Posted July 13, 2008 Yes you can totally fall in love with someone you've never met. i know because i have. Me and Andy first just started chatting just normal flirting online and then it got a bit more serious, we exchanged numbers, went on cam with eachother, phoned eachother and we said to eachother we'd love to meet up and we wana be with eachother. Well we have been together for a near next week and still never met, but we are meeting in 2 weeks time. Things have always gotten in the way, he's had a lot of problems back home and ive also had my own problems but now we split up for a couple of weeks and realised we couldnt live without eachother, so now no matter what is going on we are meeting up and i cannot wait still a bit nervous though but think im going to until im actually cuddling and kissing him...ooo cant wait haha sorry for the long reply. But yeh u can definatley fall in love Link to post Share on other sites
Dark-N-Romantic Posted July 13, 2008 Share Posted July 13, 2008 Congratulations Sara, It is good when those exceptions to the naysayers words proves them wrong. As a matter of fact, Savage Garden has a song titled "I Knew I Loved You Before I Met You". DNR "I knew I loved you before I met you. I must of dreamed you into life. I knew I loved you before I met you. I've been waiting for you all my life." Link to post Share on other sites
SaraLovesHerAndy Posted July 13, 2008 Share Posted July 13, 2008 That is so true! when you have a special bond with someone, you can try and try just to keep it casual but if its love then you just cant help but fall for that person where ever they are, there is worse things than a lil distance between 2 people i really believe if 2 people love eacother enough it wont matter how far you are from eachother coz absence makes the heart grow fonder and i feel when and eachtime i meet andy its gunna be the best moments of my life! xx Link to post Share on other sites
OwnedByCats Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 I think it's entirely possible to love someone you have never met, but the problem is I don't think you can know whether you love them for absolutely certain unless you do meet up eventually. Some people who think they have loved someone before meeting end up realizing they really didn't once they've met because for some reason they didn't click in the same way as they did online, while others find the meeting confirmed their love. I felt that I knew I loved my significant other before I met him and when I did meet him, I found I was right. I had met ones in the past who I thought there was potential to fall in love, but upon meeting them in person I just didn't have the same attraction anymore - for reasons I don't fully understand. With who I am with now, I didn't feel there was potential, I felt I was already in love with him for sure. Everyone is different though. We don't all fall in love the same way. Someone mentioned earlier on in the thread that if they had met their SO in person first (or saw a picture before getting attached to their personality), they wouldn't have given them a second glance. This is something I experienced. When it comes to the looks department, my SO is not my type at all. Had I seen him in person first, I never would have looked his way - although if I was in a situation where I got to know him in person the same way I did online, I'm sure I would have reached the same conclusion but would I have given him a chance in the first place unless I had to get to know him? Unfortunately, probably not. By the time I saw his picture, I was blind to this look that was normally not my type at all - and certainly would have turned me off had he not had the personality I loved. Then meeting him in person, his looks meant nothing to me. Normally when I fall in love with someone, I fall for their personality and the looks never come into it. I learned that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" is so true. Link to post Share on other sites
whateverwillbe Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 I have decided it is infatuation, in a sense. Yes, you love them as much as you know them. But you really don't know them. They can keep things from you. And yes, this can happen in reality world---but you may not be the only one they are writing to. Just in the way they became friends to you, they may have one or more relationships they have built the same way. They may only say things that would make them sound good. They don't write when they are in a jerky mood. And I would bet that if you stopped, they would just move on to someone else, some other on-line friend. So, unless you meet up with them and see the soul in their eyes, I don't think you really love them. It can't be the same love. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 How far away is he? Why don't you two just plan a weekend meeting? I would want to meet him before I potentially ruined a friendship by tossing in an idea of romance before seeing if we really liked each other IRL or not. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted July 26, 2008 Share Posted July 26, 2008 Long distance relationships are perfect for people who like a lot of distance in their relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
HeartLikeLead Posted July 27, 2008 Share Posted July 27, 2008 I know that you can love the idea of the person and then when you meet in reality quickly fall in love. I now see things very clearly regarding a guy I got to know online for 6 months before dating in real life. So my feelings were very real for him before meeting. But it took the actual physical face to face for everything to fall into place. I have great instincts and he was everything I thought he would be. But I HAD SO MANY NAYSAYERS clouding my budding love that i shut him out fo rlast two months since we were together.... Now its dawned on me that what we have is real online and off. I am so glad we met online first... I got to know sides of him he wouldve had trouble sharing in real life so soon. And it made it easier to LOVE him. Link to post Share on other sites
HeartLikeLead Posted July 27, 2008 Share Posted July 27, 2008 There are many stories pre dating the internet era of people falling in love via pony express........... its not so strange. Link to post Share on other sites
whateverwillbe Posted July 27, 2008 Share Posted July 27, 2008 There are many stories pre dating the internet era of people falling in love via pony express........... its not so strange. Good to know I am not an idiot and that their are some real stories of love found on the internet. Link to post Share on other sites
Storyrider Posted July 27, 2008 Share Posted July 27, 2008 There are many stories pre dating the internet era of people falling in love via pony express........... its not so strange. People have conducted life-long love affairs by letter since the advent of the postal service. Link to post Share on other sites
Storyrider Posted July 27, 2008 Share Posted July 27, 2008 Long distance relationships are perfect for people who like a lot of distance in their relationships. This is true. Link to post Share on other sites
Intellectualbrat Posted August 3, 2008 Share Posted August 3, 2008 yes, you can, and anyone who has ever been in a long-distance relationship before can tell you that much. I met my husband online and when i saw his picture, it made me glad that i hadn't met him in person first. I would never have given him a second look. When i met him for first time in person after many months in a long-distance relationship, i loved everything about him just for the mere fact i was in love with him. Confusedalways, if you really think you would like to be with this guy, talk to him about it. You've known each other for a very long time, and he keeps contact with you because he cares. He might be shocked at first, but it may very well unearth feelings within him that he put aside when he thought you were not interested. -e i agree ith you..you can fall in love on line...i know i did and its wonderful, but after a while you have to meet because it get's crazy, the wanting to be in there arms and the desperation is amazing...i love this guy and he feels the same for me....soon me and the kids are moving in with him and he even bought me a promise ring and planing on getting married..hey and im 42..lol good luck..and remember it is possible!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
celinedion1 Posted August 10, 2008 Share Posted August 10, 2008 I have decided it is infatuation, in a sense. Yes, you love them as much as you know them. But you really don't know them. They can keep things from you. And yes, this can happen in reality world---but you may not be the only one they are writing to. Just in the way they became friends to you, they may have one or more relationships they have built the same way. They may only say things that would make them sound good. They don't write when they are in a jerky mood. And I would bet that if you stopped, they would just move on to someone else, some other on-line friend. So, unless you meet up with them and see the soul in their eyes, I don't think you really love them. It can't be the same love. I agree with what you said 100%. my ex cheated on me with a girl he met online. a month before I caught him he was sending her money. He's sent her close to 3,000 dollars and hes never met her. Af first he claimed to be in love with her. However the reality was that he didn't want to feel the pain of he and I no longer being together. Now a few months have passed and he doesn't talk to her nearly as much as he used to, and he doesnt love her and hes not in love with her. He realized that hes still in love with me and he tells me that he hopes to one day marry me and spend his life with me, that he's deeply in love with me, and that he loves me even more now than when we first got together. However he has a 2nd life online, and even though he doesnt love this online girl he still tells her that he loves her. He told me that if he and I were to be committed to each other then he would break it off with her but for now he's letting her believe in this unreal fantasy of him and her. Link to post Share on other sites
whateverwillbe Posted August 10, 2008 Share Posted August 10, 2008 I agree with what you said 100%. my ex cheated on me with a girl he met online. a month before I caught him he was sending her money. He's sent her close to 3,000 dollars and hes never met her. Af first he claimed to be in love with her. However the reality was that he didn't want to feel the pain of he and I no longer being together. Now a few months have passed and he doesn't talk to her nearly as much as he used to, and he doesnt love her and hes not in love with her. He realized that hes still in love with me and he tells me that he hopes to one day marry me and spend his life with me, that he's deeply in love with me, and that he loves me even more now than when we first got together. However he has a 2nd life online, and even though he doesnt love this online girl he still tells her that he loves her. He told me that if he and I were to be committed to each other then he would break it off with her but for now he's letting her believe in this unreal fantasy of him and her. Wow, this is amazing. What you have here is a jerk. You should really consider if that is a guy you want to be with for a long time. Why would he string her along like that? What is the purpose? Why let her waste her life thinking they may be together all the while pretending. He is a user of people's feelings and I would watch my step with him. Why does he need his ego stroked so badly to use this woman? And why would you tolerate such? Just think about it. ETA: I do realize that he is your ex, and maybe that is why, but from what it sounds he is trying to get you back, or maybe you are working on it, so that is why I worry about you. Link to post Share on other sites
lovestruck818 Posted August 10, 2008 Share Posted August 10, 2008 Hi all- long time lurker, first time poster. I could really, really use some advice. I am 21, the male in this problem is 23, we will call him Mark for the purpose of this thread. I'm sorry for the length but I REALLY could use some advice, please (I'm begging!) Mark and I met online when we were really young, I was like 12, or something. We were playing a computer game together and just kind of 'clicked' [as much as you can when you're 12 and 14]. As we got a little older, 14 & 16, we sorta had a little puppy love non serious "long distance" thing going on. Not a big deal. He liked me more than I liked him, but still held him in a very high regard. One day he tells me he had a girlfriend, Stacy, and they just made things 'official' in real life. I had my own things going on, and none of it was ever serious, so we continued to be good friends obviously. We stayed very good online friends. We talked about everything & everything. At this point, we had written a few letters, talked on the phone all the time, online all the time. We lost touch, both of us have busy lives. Not completely lost touch the talking was very infrequent. Even so, whenever we talked it was like no time was ever lost, we still had that same 'click' we had when we were younger. Since we were 12 and 14, we have not gone longer than 5 or 6 months without talking, usually it being much more frequent. Anyway, he STILL (to this day) is dating Stacy. But here's where my questions come in... through all the time where we've both been busy, he is the one to contact me, ALWAYS. He calls me to stay in touch, ims me, leaves me a myspace comment, etc. I always happily respond but it's always him initiating. It has recently occurred to me that if he wasn't with Stacy, I would literally drop everything to try and make the two of US work. I don't know what to do. Can you form this kind of relationship over the internet? I don't know what all his phone calls and such mean. Is he trying to keep contact with a good friend or is there a possibility somewhere in his mind, too? There's this crazy bond between us that I can't describe and I have never ever had with a boyfriend or anyone i've dated. It's crazy. I really don't know what to do!! Him and stacy have been together forever, and he always briefly mentions her each time we talk. He can do so much better, she treats him like **** from what he tells me. I hope I was able to get my point across clearly... I guess I want to know if it's possible to like someone so much you've never even met, and if there's any possibility maybe he feels it too, but doesn't want to jeopardize something good in life for something great that is a gamble? A few times drunk i've almost asked him if it would work between us if Stacy was not in the picture. I know it would, but she is and has been forever. What on EARTH do I do?!?! ::::sings::: "I knew I loooooved you before I met you.....I have been waiting all my liiiiiiife" Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted August 10, 2008 Share Posted August 10, 2008 ::::sings::: "I knew I loooooved you before I met you.....I have been waiting all my liiiiiiife" Oh, God, stop! Take some voice lessons for Christ's sake. Link to post Share on other sites
ABrokenWing Posted August 11, 2008 Share Posted August 11, 2008 I think you can. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted August 11, 2008 Share Posted August 11, 2008 Of course, this can happen in "real" life, too. It is called "dating". In real life, more often than not, you can tell the difference through body language and facial expressions. Through cyberspace, you only have text and phone, where people can and do say things they don't mean or feel so it's far easier to get played. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts