What's a Guy to do???!?!?

[MoNeY]

This is a long and involved story, it's complex and that's why I need help.

 

Let me start by explaining myself, I'm 18 yrs old, shy untill I know you, a hopeless romantic, and I would say very mature about relationships, I'm always (until now) in control of my emotions and very level headed and logical. I have no desire for any typical teen dating relationship because I'm emotional and spiritual and do not aspire to "see how far I can get" with a girl because I have choosen to remain a virgin until marriage. I have been in only one serious relationshipthat lasted 3 years and it started when I was a freshman in HS. I met the girl at church camp and she was 2 years older than me, we became the closest of friends and I can honestly say that I loved her (something I am VERY cautious about doing) Our relationship never was physical though we bonded spiritually and emotionally. Because of her, I, unlike most guys my age, truely know what love is. Anyway she went off to college far away, and though we swore it would never happen, we drifted apart and now we barely talk. She's met a guy and now they're talking marriage, he's real cool and I have no hard feelings, we both have moved on.

 

Fast-forward to Thankgiving this last year. I go to college and live at home. My sister (3 yrs older) goes to college 2 1/2 hours away. She's an RA out there and she has helped out other students in the past by bringing them to our house over breaks when they can't get home. This time she was also bringing someone home so it was no big deal. Enter the object of my troubles. When I first met her i was awkward as usual with house guests, but she was very energetic and that banished any awkward feelings for our family, I was still shy. I didn''t know anything about her, I was physically attracted to her but I figured she was my sister's age and had a boyfriend so I didn't persue. through the course of the first night I learned she was my age and currently single. She was also able to crack through my shyness and we ended up chatting until the wee hours of the morning about relationships. seems we were kinda in the same boat. She left her boyfriend of 3 years back at home 20 hrs away. They were growing apart and so they broke up to be just friends. Over the next few days we talked alot and didn't get much sleep,. On the last day she was there we both were kinda bummed but didn't say anything, and we left eachother with a big heartfelt hug. Well my mind was racing!!!! I had to stay in touch with her. The next day I sent her a letter. I've never been so forward but there I was hanging my heart in the open and hoping she felt the same way, I really opened up in that letter. a week later I finally got a reply and it turned out she felt the same way. The only thing between us now was logic. She lived almost 3 hours away and she had just gotten done with a 3 year relationship. I knew she needed time, heck it took me almost 2 years to move on, but I told her that I would give her all the time she needed. So we continued to communicate all through december via E-mail. We decided to meet and get to know eachother better in the middle of Jan. when I would visit my sister. That weekend was simply amazing. She initiated a more physical relationship and we basically spent the first night in eachothers arms, just holding on tight. The next day was basically a reprise of the previous night and that night we actually kissed. It sounds slow moving but we'd only seen eachother for a few days and we are both cautious about that sort of thing. The next day we went to church and then went back into eachother's arms. Then finally on that Monday cooler heads prevailed and we both decided to slow things up before they got out of control. I went back to visit her two weeks later to see her run track. She was busy the first nght I was ther so I didn't see her much. The next day we saw eachother on and off and I could already tell things weren't working out. I'd decided to let the night play out and then decide what to do by the next morning. That night she told me that I would probably be wasting my time if I came out for Valentine's day like I'd planned, because she couldn't feel the same way about me as I felt about her. Even though I was feeling the same way, it still hurt....BAD. We said goodby the next day, but vowed to stay in touch. On the drive home I decided that I couldn't feel that strongly about her after such a short time, and that I was just in love with the idea of being in love, I told her all about this. So we continued to talk and just be friends until three weeks ago when i stopped by for a brief visit on my way to visit my cousin for spring break. We talked for only 15 minutes but I thought about her constantly for the next week. We planned to meet again on my way home and chat for a while. I had been very open to her about everything thus far so I wanted to tell her about how I felt. When we met however, I was a nervous wreck, I couldn't think strait and so I never told her and ended up acting like a moron. Whe I got home I poured my heart and soul into an E-mail. I explained to her all of my thoughts about the whole situation, how I had feelings that logic couldn't explain and that I was not in control for the first time ever in my life, I asked for her help as a friend. The reply came a whole week and a half later, it three lines stating how she didn't know what to say and that she wasn't ready for a relationship at all and that she had no time. That was it!!! She just shut me down. I sent her a card that explained that I know she needed time and that I was here if she wanted to share her feelings. I've e-mailed her also, just a friendly conversational E-mail so she knows I'm alive. I haven't heard from her since that short e-mail and I'm confused.

 

So what is a guy to do?? Logically it's no big deal, we've seen eachother only about a week and a half and known eachother only 4 months. She lives far away and I don't know her too well. A long distance relationship is real tough, I know that personally. But for the first time in my life my emotions can't be controled, I can't stop thinking about her. I want to call it LOVE but logically it can't be!!! I know I should just move on but I've never felt like this before. She seems like she's not interested but after what we've shared and how alike we are I can't believe it. I've been in her situation before and I know she just needs time, unfortunately I've known that since the begining, yet I still let what this whole mess happen and now I can't go back. I want to wait for her, and I want to help her. I know what she's going through and I wished I had someone to talk to, now here I sit, already proven trustworthy and she won't open up to me like she once did. What can I do, I've sent her a letter and e-mails and she hasn't answered. I don't want to loose her like I've lost in the past. and I'm determined not to, but if she won't comunicate then I see that happening. I am young and people say there's many fish in the sea but it seems that when I finally do meet someone who is actually capable of a serious relationship, things always go sour and I'm left lonely for a long time. I just don't see the point in dreaming if they never seem to come true.

[LoveAngel]

This is a long and involved story, it's complex and that's why I need help.

 

 

MoNeY,

 

 

Please join us in the chat room. For more information, use the link below. Unfortunately, I feel to best assist you in your dilemma, we need to talk one on one and I don't think a reply in this forum would be appropriate. However, I completely understand and can connect with what you are feeling. It seems that you want a timely answer, and I'm afraid I can't give you that right here at this time due to my schedule. That's why I feel that the best thing would be to enter the chat room. If you're not familiar with IRC, check out the link below and if you're still having trouble e-mail me. Best wishes to you.

 

 

LoveAngel

 

 

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