dumbgirl04 Posted July 29, 2003 Share Posted July 29, 2003 Recently, after being misled that my boyfriend of almost 2 years cheated on me, I cheated on him and am still not sure if he cheated on me. I told him what I did and after being very mad, he's still talking to me and we are trying to work things out. We both are still very much in love with eachother but I don't know if he'll ever be able to trust me again. Is it worth putting forth the effort? How do I regain his trust? This is also now a long distance relationship and I need some advice! Please help! Link to post Share on other sites
midori Posted July 29, 2003 Share Posted July 29, 2003 You speak of lost trust, but where was it to begin with? You acted on information that you never confirmed but were inclined to believe-- you didn't and still don't know if your boyfriend cheated on you. Which suggests that you never trusted him. If I really loved someone I would need flagrant proof that he'd cheated before I would believe it of him. Like him admitting it, or me catching him at it. I wouldn't be in love with someone I didn't implicitly trust. And I wouldn't seek to get even with him by cheating myself. Not if I truly loved him. How would that help things? I'm sure you have feelings for this guy and he for you. But it doesn't sound like love to me. And it's long-distance to boot? I'm sorry but it doesn't sound like there's much to salvage. You two might have a lot of affection for each other, but you seem to be lacking at least one fundamental component: trust. How could you reasonably expect to be happy in a long-distance relationship without trust? I'd call it quits. Maybe you two can salvage some kind of friendship out of this. Your situation is bad enough without the distance; with it I can't imagine how it could work at this point. Link to post Share on other sites
superd Posted July 30, 2003 Share Posted July 30, 2003 dumbgirl, its sounds like you have some self esteem issues that need to be ironed out before you will ever have a healthy relationship with anyone, for one calling yourself dumbgirl does not send a positive or appealing message. You don't have to do anything drastic, just think about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Harrison Posted August 9, 2003 Share Posted August 9, 2003 The only time I believe in even trying to get back together with your mate after one or the other has cheated (and especially more than a "one-night-stand") is if you are married. Even then, things will never be the same. You need to move on, whether you were cheated on or did the cheating. I've been in both shoes, and getting back together, mo matter how in love you think you are, allways fails, and is a waste of precious time. I lost a number of years where I could have been dating and having fun, trying to get back together with a girl I cheated on, and much later, with a girl that cheated on me. Move on and hopefully you will find someone you can be in a totally committed relationship with. Until then, don't waste your time, and have fun. Link to post Share on other sites
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