foxh1234 Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 why are you all beating yourselves up about it. breaking your rules, only means your human, with feelings and needs. there is this real bad stigma attached, like your weak if you make contact. i say your stronger for trying to face your fear! so long as you keep a level head with you do it, and realize why you are doing it! it shouldn't be something you keep record of, be brave enough to step up to what YOU need, deal with the consequences and move forward, dont dwell! they probably aren't! (ps. dont mean any of that to sound harsh ) I disagree 100%. You are stronger to never contact your ex. If you contact them you are showing them you cannot get on without them. This is weakness in my opinion. Of course there are times when contact is unavoidable but for me, my ex cheated and I will never have contact again. I have no fear to face, I just don't want to see her or talk to her again. Link to post Share on other sites
broncos23 Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 I've broken it several times. It's kind of hard to keep the whole NC going when you see her at public events and at mutual friends houses. Also, sucks that I still have 2 more years of school left with her, so I'm pretty sure I'll her see her around a few more times. I've been getting better at it though. She does say hey to me when we see each other at these events and so do I. As much as I would not want to reply back or even look at her I reply, so not to be rude. After our hellos, she doesn't exist to me though. Sometimes we say our goodbyes. Other than that though NC is going on less than a week. I wish I could stick with it. Link to post Share on other sites
fran82 Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 fox, im NOT saying contact is something everyone SHOULD do, of course there are examples when its best not to bother! like urs, same thing happened to me a few years back, hell id be damned if i was talking to him! what i am saying tho is, if someone is wanting to contact their ex, do it for the right reasons, and only if you can deal with the aftermath BUT only if you want to! if you DONT want to then dont! but hmmming and arrrring over wether its the best thing, is something that we can only answer individually! it shouldnt be about getting all worked up if you break a self imposed rule, it should be about moving forward in the best way possible for you. Link to post Share on other sites
foxh1234 Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 fox, im NOT saying contact is something everyone SHOULD do, of course there are examples when its best not to bother! like urs, same thing happened to me a few years back, hell id be damned if i was talking to him! what i am saying tho is, if someone is wanting to contact their ex, do it for the right reasons, and only if you can deal with the aftermath BUT only if you want to! if you DONT want to then dont! but hmmming and arrrring over wether its the best thing, is something that we can only answer individually! it shouldnt be about getting all worked up if you break a self imposed rule, it should be about moving forward in the best way possible for you. Agreed, every situation is different for sure. Overall though, contact hurts more than it helps for the majority of people, in my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
ioncebelieved Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 Agreed, every situation is different for sure. Overall though, contact hurts more than it helps for the majority of people, in my opinion. It has taken me the hard way to find this out to!!! I used to think that a few weeks would be enough NC and it would be great talking to her...NOT!!!! It would make me feel worse because she still would be playing silly a$$ games with me. For me, NC is best! Like you said Fox, its best for most! Link to post Share on other sites
fran82 Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 yeah, i agree, if you've been burned, theres no point in trying again! yeah, the majority may end up getting stung like you say, atleast from a lot of the posts here on LS, it sounds that way. i think this is why i believe you have to realize why you want the contact, and assess wether or not you can handle it or if its a good idea Link to post Share on other sites
Author FauxVowel Posted July 7, 2008 Author Share Posted July 7, 2008 The armor has taken a few hits, but the tank is rolling on... I am like a tree in the wind... I will not break... Like sturdy rock... She will call, and I will not answer! She will come over, and I will make her give me a big kiss! yeah! ha ha ha Link to post Share on other sites
confused and broken Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 6 times I promised myself NC and 6 times I broke NC and 3 of those times I got back together with him... This time I have been on NC for 9 days and hope to keep it that way for good! Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 6 times I promised myself NC and 6 times I broke NC and 3 of those times I got back together with him... This time I have been on NC for 9 days and hope to keep it that way for good! Keep reminding yourself how you felt afterwards! The hell you've gone through with those breakups, makeups and breaking NC. Link to post Share on other sites
confused and broken Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 Keep reminding yourself how you felt afterwards! The hell you've gone through with those breakups, makeups and breaking NC. It is definitely hell and I can say that for anyone who contemplates getting back together with their ex... There was never anything good about it ...it just f***ed up my life every time... Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 It is definitely hell and I can say that for anyone who contemplates getting back together with their ex... There was never anything good about it ...it just f***ed up my life every time... I'm with you on second chances. Unless there's core change, which rarely happens, it turns into same shyte, different day! Link to post Share on other sites
wareagle Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 I agree with fire!! I went through the second, third, fourth, fifth, hell I lost track of how many times we broke up and got back together! Like he said unless one or both of you make some real changes, nothing will ever be the same! Oh yeah it will be good for awhile, but then surely enough it will trinkle downhill until you are in the same situation! I was a firm believer in second chances, but this last relationship has taught me that they rarely work out!! If it wasn't good enough the first time, why do you think it will be the second go around? Link to post Share on other sites
tealeafbud Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 my Ex and I have broken NC numerous numerous times. The longest we've gone NC is three months. TWICE! and each time she's tried to contact me. Lately, we've been talking, and although she's living with some guy, she still wanted to be friends with me (behind the new love interests' back). Finally, we got discovered texting each other and are now back on NC. day one. We both have feelings for each other and it's hard for each of us to let go because we've been through so much together, but we've now reached a point where we've reached reality. Will we break NC again? I don't know, but all I can say is that it is different this time. Link to post Share on other sites
KamKakes Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 I haven't broken NC just yet, I'm currently on Day 5 and... the temptation is great. But - I keep replaying the awkward conversations in my head and the obvious distance he was tossing between us and his non-caring attitude and bored comments and I'm like "Hell No." One word replies are worse than ignoring for me! I'd rather be ignored - I'd get the message faster. Link to post Share on other sites
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