mixed signals

[cxz214]

Ok I've known this girl for about a year and we used to work at the same place. I started to have feelings for her and such, but never really did anything. She was telling me how she wanted to do certain things with me and at some point she said she liked me, but didn't like me in a sexual way. I was only joking around at that time, but not sure if that is her way of telling me that she didn't want to be with me and people that I knew and she knew said that she liked me. I guess I had a crush on her, but I tried to move on. Well I haven't spoken to her in a long time until recently. She acted really excited to see me and she wanted me to hang with her on her break, so we talked and such. Also she made sure I got her new number. Well should I make a move? She has given me so many mixed signals that I don't exactly know what to do. Not sure if she is just being really friendly or what. I think want to be with her, but don't know. Just let me know what you think and thanks in advance.

[asriella]

I hate to say this, but in my honest opinion, the situation doesn't look good for dating. I think she's pegged you as a guy she loves being friends with. My reasons for this are:

 

1. The comment about not liking you in a sexual way was her directly addressing the question.

 

2. The no contact hiatus. If she was into you or thinking about you, she probably wouldn't have been so quiet.

 

3. The "excited" way she acted. That's how you act to a friend. If a woman is into a man, she doesn't necessarily act excited. She may have a little game to her response, playing it a little cool. Words are spiced with a little insecurity. "Hey, if you ever want to hang out or something, you know, like give me a call" or "Did you hear about that show on Friday night at the (venue)? Were you going to go to that?" The confidence isn't totally there.

 

I am writing to you because I am a woman that has had male friends my entire life -- in majority. It took me a really long time to recognize that half of them thought I was misleading them. In my mind, my favorite friends were male because the friendships were less complicated. I gravitated towards male friendships, not realizing that my feminity had a great deal to do with their interest in me.

 

Having said this, I would give up on this. When you're compartmentalized as a friend, you can almost never get out -- especially not this soon. Of course, I don't know all the details of your situation, and I could be wrong, but from the brief paragraph above (and relating these things to my own actions and reactions) I would say I don't think it's worth getting involved if you want more than a buddy.

 

*****

This is an add on to my original post.

 

I had a friend that was in love with one of his female friends. I knew she had no interest, but my male friend kept a candle lit for this woman for years. He was CONVINCED she was sending him him signals and that I didn't understand it. He HAD to make a move in order to get over it.

 

I guess what I'm saying is that if you read this post and you think I'm wrong (you see secret signals, you feel like I don't get the whole story etc.,) then I encourage you to make a move and get it over with now, while it's still new. If she likes you, then you know it. If she doesn't, you know it. Whatever you do, don't continue to think about her secretly, hanging on to every possible word, and live in a dream world. If you think it could be true, just do it.

[cxz214]

Yeah thats pretty much what I was thinking, but you know I guess there is always the what if and such. Also I don't think I could ever put all that happend in writing, so guess I'll try something and hope for the best. Also thanks again for your advice.