Who all lost their dignity with ex?

[ioncebelieved]

Every guy should lose his dignity over a woman at least once. It's a rite of passage.

 

Yeah maybe so, but damn at least let it be for the right one!!!! I would be lying if I said that I didn't have some hope left in me, but it is quickly leaving me each and every day.

[LikeCharlotte]

At the time it all made perfect sense. Everything I did and said was because I honestly thought it was worth it. I tried to keep from being too prideful that was my pitfall in the past. Looking back I wonder "What the hell was I thinking?" It's only been a few months and I can't recall why I loved him at all. I know why I liked him but I can't make head or tail of why I wanted him to stay with me.

 

I cried a million times because he would withdraw at the slightest offense. Sometimes it was days before we would talk about what had gone wrong. The tiniest things would turn into days of talking an negotiating because I would just keep trying when he clearly had no idea what he felt or how to communicate. I allowed him access to my heart and my body when he hadn't earned or respected what that really meant in any way. That is my only regret. I hope to resolve how utterly used I feel soon. I would say more but I'm simply not ready to tackle those feelings. I need a break.

[motive2002]

I lost mine. I let her dig her heels into me.. it was such an odd thing. She was so humble and sweet in the beginning.

Heh, aren't they always?

 

She's someone else's monster now. Someone else will have to put up with her lies. Her patronizing. Her self-righteousness. Her lack of regard towards other's feelings.

 

Someone that ought to be a guest spot on Jerry Springer, thinking she knows what's best; better than anyone else. I got news for ya honey. You're human just like the rest of us.

[Trialbyfire]

I lost mine. I let her dig her heels into me.. it was such an odd thing. She was so humble and sweet in the beginning.

Heh, aren't they always?

This is my biggest pet peeve with people. Can you not be yourself at the beginning, to a reasonable degree, so it doesn't come as a complete shock to me what a total arsehole you really are? Grrrr...

[tealeafbud]

Just curious to all out there when things were over, who all lost their dignity? That could be a host of shameful things: crying; begging; bribing; yelling; assaulting; calling repeatedly; staking; doing dirty things to their new lover or spouse (depending on situation); writing them letters trying to reason with them... I mean anything that you are embarrassed about now! WHAT SHAMEFUL THING(S) DID YOU THAT YOU NOW REGRET???

 

Did you mean "stalking"? or is staking some sort of new method of protecting one's territory?

 

Anyhoo, I've cried on the phone with her, even though I was the one that left her. I've let her get the best of me even though we were through. I've let her contact me after months of ignoring her. I've read her emails I wrote (never send them) that implied that I wanted her back. I've cyber stalked her by checking her myspace all the time. Lots of stuff, but I've learned that each of those behaviors sets me back.

[ioncebelieved]

Did you mean "stalking"? or is staking some sort of new method of protecting one's territory?

 

Anyhoo, I've cried on the phone with her, even though I was the one that left her. I've let her get the best of me even though we were through. I've let her contact me after months of ignoring her. I've read her emails I wrote (never send them) that implied that I wanted her back. I've cyber stalked her by checking her myspace all the time. Lots of stuff, but I've learned that each of those behaviors sets me back.

 

Yeah, I did mean stalking....guess I forgot the L in it. I know all about the cyber stalk and I am right there with you letting her get the best of me. It really is quite cruel how they "Get the best of you" and what is worse is I allowed her to do it as the months passed. I kept giving my self deadlines to her getting "IT" together and I would rationalize why she didn't and allow more silly behavior.

 

Now I look back I would have been better off walking away after a few months when the relationship started almost 2 years ago.

[BentSpine]

When you love someone, you care more about that other person than about yourself, at least until you fall out of love by the other person not reciprocating. With that in mind, not listening to your pride at the breakup is quite understandable. Ignoring you pride means that you still love the other person and still have the grieving process to go through.

 

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs." 1 Corinthians 13:4

[PandaStillLovesBunny]

The only thing I regret is that I was the one apologizing.

[stolenheart123]

I did alot of stupid things, i begged, pleaded, sent flowers, cards, emails and a whole lot more. I lost who I was. But one day I finally snapped out of it, and ever since then I've maintained NC, im on day 50. I never thought i had it in me, but im glad I found who I was. She moved on quickly to someone else, today I found out she got dumped. Karma is a bitc*

[FauxVowel]

Just curious to all out there when things were over, who all lost their dignity? That could be a host of shameful things: crying; begging; bribing; yelling; assaulting; calling repeatedly; staking; doing dirty things to their new lover or spouse (depending on situation); writing them letters trying to reason with them... I mean anything that you are embarrassed about now! WHAT SHAMEFUL THING(S) DID YOU THAT YOU NOW REGRET???

 

I did several of the mentioned things above. I did NO ACTS of violence though or threatened none as well.

 

Let's see here... I lost all my dignity when I left her like 200 voicemails in a row, oh but she was busy ****ing Mr. Wonderful, and then I lost my dignity while I was on my knees crying and begging her to stay unknown to me that she was already with Mr. W, and then crying at lunch, while she text messaged Mr. W throughout the whole meal, which i didnt know, and then how i kept begging her to change her mind, and then how she pretended she wanted to come back, and i was all for it, and then how i let her treat me like **** for that whole weak, and then she told me she was gonna go **** mr wonderful for his birthday, and she would call me tomorrow

 

but then

 

i told her no **** that we are not talkin tomorrow we are not talkin ever again if you ****in blow me off, at the very least just come over here and tell me good bye, but no she had to be a heartless bitch, and then i ****ing text messaged her that i was over here in tears and how could she do this to me, and i didnt even get a ****ing response after 11 ****ing years, and i call her one last time and she tells me that **** so i called her voicemail and i was all emotional, and i said, you think that ****'s funny? i said never do it again, im changing my # (but i didnt), and then i pathetically told her that if she could still call me back that night. that night i didnt hear back and i was so pissed so i emailed mr w, and then the bitch called the next day but i didnt answer and she left the 3 text messages of how i cant be with her cuz im a loser and the worst person she ever met

so that just pisses me off even more cuz she is so upset about that so i email mr w again telling him everything that she was saying that week, and that was it, i knew he broke up and took her back, but thats the last i knew, oh and then i was so pissed 2 weeks after that i shut down her email that i created so thats okay and i never heard **** so its been a while she probably just wanted to bitch at me about that

what the hell thread is this

 

ok so anyway i forgot what thread it was

so the point was i told her i wasnt talkin to her anymore, so its kinda like i got to break up with her, but not really, and plus when i emailed mr wonderful the 2nd time i told him that i have more dignity and self-respect than X's previous men, so i cant be looking like a fool if i said that now right.

[FauxVowel]

Let's see here... I lost all my dignity when I left her like 200 voicemails in a row, oh but she was busy ****ing Mr. Wonderful, and then I lost my dignity while I was on my knees crying and begging her to stay unknown to me that she was already with Mr. W, and then crying at lunch, while she text messaged Mr. W throughout the whole meal, which i didnt know, and then how i kept begging her to change her mind, and then how she pretended she wanted to come back, and i was all for it, and then how i let her treat me like **** for that whole weak, and then she told me she was gonna go **** mr wonderful for his birthday, and she would call me tomorrow

 

but then

 

i told her no **** that we are not talkin tomorrow we are not talkin ever again if you ****in blow me off, at the very least just come over here and tell me good bye, but no she had to be a heartless bitch, and then i ****ing text messaged her that i was over here in tears and how could she do this to me, and i didnt even get a ****ing response after 11 ****ing years, and i call her one last time and she tells me that **** so i called her voicemail and i was all emotional, and i said, you think that ****'s funny? i said never do it again, im changing my # (but i didnt), and then i pathetically told her that if she could still call me back that night. that night i didnt hear back and i was so pissed so i emailed mr w, and then the bitch called the next day but i didnt answer and she left the 3 text messages of how i cant be with her cuz im a loser and the worst person she ever met

so that just pisses me off even more cuz she is so upset about that so i email mr w again telling him everything that she was saying that week, and that was it, i knew he broke up and took her back, but thats the last i knew, oh and then i was so pissed 2 weeks after that i shut down her email that i created so thats okay and i never heard **** so its been a while she probably just wanted to bitch at me about that

what the hell thread is this

 

ok so anyway i forgot what thread it was

so the point was i told her i wasnt talkin to her anymore, so its kinda like i got to break up with her, but not really, and plus when i emailed mr wonderful the 2nd time i told him that i have more dignity and self-respect than X's previous men, so i cant be looking like a fool if i said that now right.

 

Hey, that's funny. She is "X", and I am "Y". heh

[critter909]

I knew the things he was doing were wrong and I was strong the day of the break-up but that was a fluke. I was a sobbing baby on the third day "Why can't we work things out?, I love you, don't want to live without you" etc. I've told him my feelings openly and honestly since then, still tell him I miss him and love him when we have our sparse contact but I don't think that's wrong, I want him to know. But I know it's weak and he is able to manipulate me becasue of it. AAAGH, I'm frustrated with myself and embarassed to admit to my friends that I would want to work things out with him.

[Trialbyfire]

Hey, that's funny. She is "X", and I am "Y". heh

Funny observation!

 

X does not equal Y

[EnigmaXOXO]

Once. When I was fifteen.

 

He was my first love, first boyfriend, first everything. He was twenty-one.

 

I know. I know. Youth and stupidity are synonymous. You just can’t separate the two. And when looking back in retrospect I can’t help but think what kind of an adult man (in his right mind) would be chasing around high-school girls, anyway. (???)

 

So THAT’S why my father wanted to kill him!!

 

But to this day, when I think back on that time I’m STILL embarrassed as h*ll about the whole darn thing. As a matter of fact, the memory of that is what's kept me in check ever since! :o :o

[ioncebelieved]

Once. When I was fifteen.

 

He was my first love, first boyfriend, first everything. He was twenty-one.

 

I know. I know. Youth and stupidity are synonymous. You just can’t separate the two. And when looking back in retrospect I can’t help but think what kind of an adult man (in his right mind) would be chasing around high-school girls, anyway. (???)

 

So THAT’S why my father wanted to kill him!!

 

But to this day, when I think back on that time I’m STILL embarrassed as h*ll about the whole darn thing. As a matter of fact, the memory of that is what's kept me in check ever since! :o :o

 

Kind of hard to hold yourself accountable being a child and he being an adult!! Now that does not count on your part because at 15 you really do not have enough experience or maturity to deal with a relationship alone not to mention with an adult. Shame on him!!!!

[EnigmaXOXO]

Now that does not count on your part because at 15 you really do not have enough experience or maturity to deal with a relationship alone not to mention with an adult.

 

Yeah, but you couldn’t have told me that at fifteen. Like every teenager, I though I already knew it all.

 

Yikes! Come to think of it ... I still do!

[ioncebelieved]

Come to think of it ... I still do!

 

I would love to say that is true for me, but I wouldn't be in the shape I am in right now if I did Know everything. Truth be told, I knew, at least my head did!!! My damn heart was what got me messed up and for that My head is still p i s s e d !!!!!! Since my dignity and pride were lost the only thing that keeps me feeling not too bad is the fact she lives 360 miles one way from me and I never met her friends and she never met mine.

[v33]

Oh I was so lame when she said she was leaving me for someone else. I begged, pleaded, cried, texted, called.... it was bad. She ignored me every time.

 

I never went looking for her though she hangs out close by. And I have walked the other way the odd time I have seen her in the area. I did end up calling her from in front of her new place one time to see if she would chat with me and she was there with her new BF. That was embarrassing. After that I never called her again, and she called me twice, once using HIS cell so I got stuck hearing her voice for about 20 seconds. I sent her her mail and she texted me a "thanks", I replied though I swore I wouldn't but I just said "Change your address with the post office". No more excuses for her to call me now. She can embarrass herself now by trying to contact me as I am done and moved on.

 

But ya, I didn't handle the early stages well at all. I am glad though that I got sick of being a little bitch and had to man up or not be able to look at myself in the mirror. And thank goodness my actions drove her further away because now I am so glad she is no longer in my life.

[EnigmaXOXO]

Since my dignity and pride were lost the only thing that keeps me feeling not too bad is the fact she lives 360 miles one way from me and I never met her friends and she never met mine.

 

Dignity and Pride? Shoot. Let me make you feel a whole lot better at my expense:

 

This nitwit got broad-sided by a dump truck ... canned, flattened and strapped to gurney right in front of her ex’s house while doing her obsessive morning drive-by. Killed my father’s car and darn near myself! Can you imagine my absolute horror when he showed up at the hospital (after being guilt-tripped by his buddiess) to give me the ol’ obligatory pat on the head??? :o

 

So there ya go, ioncebelieved. It’s probably a GOOD THING you’re 360 miles away and the worst you can do to embarrass yourself is the ol’ drunk-dial.

:laugh:

[ioncebelieved]

Dignity and Pride? Shoot. Let me make you feel a whole lot better at my expense:

 

This nitwit got broad-sided by a dump truck ... canned, flattened and strapped to gurney right in front of her ex’s house while doing her obsessive morning drive-by. Killed my father’s car and darn near myself! Can you imagine my absolute horror when he showed up at the hospital (after being guilt-tripped by his buddiess) to give me the ol’ obligatory pat on the head??? :o

 

So there ya go, ioncebelieved. It’s probably a GOOD THING you’re 360 miles away and the worst you can do to embarrass yourself is the ol’ drunk-dial.

:laugh:

 

DAAAMMMMMMMMNNNNNN, I bet that was devastating!!!!!!! Yeah that is bad for sure!!! Sure hope your were able to collect a settlement from the dump truck company in Lieu of your dignity!!!! I feel better already!!!! Hugs to you indeed!!

[lovesparis]

::raises hand::

 

i was crazy. no harm, no violence, no threats. just crazy

[Peter_pan]

good thread. i called her after my holiday because she wrote me an email saying she didnt want me and was seeing new guy. i phoned her and was NICE!! wtf was i thinking.

 

i was still trying to get her back. letting her know how much ive changed. i seriously dont no what the **** i did wrong for her to treat me like she has. its as though she made up some story about something i did?

 

i regret not beating him up when i could see he was trying to steal her away from me. why did i stand there and watch it happen?

 

[AnLandy]

I did something that I'm not proud of, but I don't know if it counts as a loss of dignity.

 

The night my ex fiance and I broke up, after hours of talking and a trip to Starbuck's to just get out of the house and decompress for a while, we came back to my place so I could pack up his things and he could say goodbye to my animals. When we were standing in the living room saying goodbye, he was crying like I have never seen anyone cry before in my life. I handed him his bag, and he put his arms around me and cried. I just stood their, totally numb and shellshocked. I think I might have patted him on the arm once or twice, but I couldn't look at him or offer him the kind of comfort that he wanted. Although I had cried earlier, I just didn't have anymore in me. I just wanted to go curl up in my bed and stop thinking for a while.

 

I could tell from his face that he was hurt when I didn't want to put my arms around him.

[Citizen Erased]

Not too sure about loss of dignity...I lost my virginity to him on a concrete floor so perhaps that fits...

[johan]

Not too sure about loss of dignity...I lost my virginity to him on a concrete floor so perhaps that fits...

 

Seems like that shouldn't count. Maybe you're still a virgin.