lancet Posted July 30, 2003 Share Posted July 30, 2003 I've been broke up with my ex for a year but I can't get her off my mine. We have a 3 year old daughther together. I miss being with them everyday. I made a big mistake by pushing her that is why we broke up. I told her how sorry I was but she will not take me back. We've been together for 4 years and friends for 8 years. I need her back in my life. I can't function without her. I'm so sorry what I've done. I wish she can forgive me and come back. I've tried evrything to get her back but she will not come back. What can I do to get her back? Link to post Share on other sites
my_mother's_daughter Posted July 30, 2003 Share Posted July 30, 2003 Originally posted by lancet I made a big mistake by pushing her that is why we broke up. If you were more specific lancet, I'd like to help. My opinion it may only be, but it may be more helpful if I'm looking at it from a reasonably informed position. Link to post Share on other sites
lancet Posted July 30, 2003 Share Posted July 30, 2003 Me and my ex got into a physical altercation that is why we broke up. I apologized to her a million and 1 times she accepted my apology and she told me she will never forget. She hasn't took me back. I just can't get her off my mine. I wish she will come back to me. I missed her so much it doesn't make any sense. We have a 3 year old daughther together I am there for my daughther. But her mother won't take back. I need them in my life. Link to post Share on other sites
my_mother's_daughter Posted July 30, 2003 Share Posted July 30, 2003 I am categorically opposed to violence in a relationship regardless of whether man or woman inflicts it, but I also consider myself a fallible human being and hard as it is to accept I suppose we all have a capacity to act uncharacteristically. If you are saying that this was an isolated incident then I think that I can get off my soap box, but must tell you that it is a frightening experience for a woman to be confronted with violence inflicted by a person whom they love and who they believed love them, so my advice is to learn from that. However, that was the past and you are seeking advice about your current situation. It seems that she must know how you feel and yet does not at this time wish to reconcile with you, I think that as painful as this may be you're going to have to respect her present wishes. It's one of the hardest things to accept that ultimately you cannot control or change a situation or make someone do something they are not prepared to, but I'm afriad that might be what you need to do. Is it possible Lancet that at this time you have very little else going on in your life? This is bound to make the hole left in your life by your ex and your daughter positively gaping. If this is the case, you know what you need to do? You need to get out there, see friends occupy your time and make your ex see that you are coping, remind her of the man she fell in love with. If she wants to make the relationship work then this may be a turning point., continuing to pine for her may actually be having a negative impact upon her feelings for you. It may not work and you may have to accept that it is over, but at least you tried to give it a shot and at the same time you'll be rebuilding a life for yourself. Remember also that you must continue to always be there for your daughter regardless of what happens between you and your ex. Link to post Share on other sites
NEONINK Posted July 30, 2003 Share Posted July 30, 2003 You say, "I need her back in my life. I can't function without her." I wouldn't take you back either! Oh, great, just what working tired mothers need, another child to take care of. (sorry, just my perspective, especially after hearing you pushed her). Your real goals could be: 1) have I learned anger management and have I dealt with my feelings 2) am I a better person overall 3) I should be able to function and be happy without her 4) I should be the best father regardless of whether me and my ex reconcile. If you take care of those 4 goals, perhaps, your ex would see something different in you. It's never enough to say your sorry. We're all sorry, but how many put forth the extra effort to change themselves and find their path to happiness. Link to post Share on other sites
grapesoda Posted August 2, 2003 Share Posted August 2, 2003 Maybe u should let up with begging her to come back for a while. Give her time, I know its been a year already but maybe she still needs more time. Just always be there when she needs you and b understanding and dont show ur anger ever around her cause she might be afraid u will do something else to her. Maybe just maybe....go to some anger management classes and learn to deal with ur prob if u really have one. This will show her u are atleast trying to better yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Nostalghia Posted August 4, 2003 Share Posted August 4, 2003 If you got physical w her, then be prepared to accept the fact that she will never trust you the next time a confrontation happens - she will feel like standing on eggshells the next time you have to communicate on touchy issues. That is not fair for her and you should concentrate on getting help w anger mgmt, and COMMUNICATE w your close friends on what happened. Believe me when I say they can be a great resource when you most need it and put things into perspective for you AND her. Link to post Share on other sites
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