Myst Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 I dont like it how the guy Im flirting with is not into me. He has to go to Europe next week for 3 months and he still hasnt messaged me to go out for coffee for this like he keeps saying. I had an ephipany yesterday. He works literally 3 minutes away from me in the city and he cant spare 10 min-15min to see me for coffee? Also he hasnt messaged me since Sunday. If he really was into me he'd make sure to ask me out before anyone else does. He made it sound like he was gonna ask me out when I told him 'if u want that coffee, ud have asked by now'. He said 'I'll see how things go this week". I feel so silly and naive for falling for his charade and playing into his game Im smarter than this, yet I fell for the oldest trick in the book. He is probably laughing his @$$ off for the way he's lied to me and how he got away with it. I hate the dating game. I hate boys and their games. This guy im talking about is 28 (im 21)!! Isnt he too old for playing games?!?! Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 I dont like it how the guy Im flirting with is not into me. He has to go to Europe next week for 3 months and he still hasnt messaged me to go out for coffee for this like he keeps saying. I had an ephipany yesterday. He works literally 3 minutes away from me in the city and he cant spare 10 min-15min to see me for coffee? Also he hasnt messaged me since Sunday. If he really was into me he'd make sure to ask me out before anyone else does. He made it sound like he was gonna ask me out when I told him 'if u want that coffee, ud have asked by now'. He said 'I'll see how things go this week". I feel so silly and naive for falling for his charade and playing into his game Im smarter than this, yet I fell for the oldest trick in the book. He is probably laughing his @$$ off for the way he's lied to me and how he got away with it. I hate the dating game. I hate boys and their games. This guy im talking about is 28 (im 21)!! Isnt he too old for playing games?!?! He got away with what???? Just move on.. period... Link to post Share on other sites
VenusInFurs Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 I dont like it how the guy Im flirting with is not into me. He has to go to Europe next week for 3 months and he still hasnt messaged me to go out for coffee for this like he keeps saying. I had an ephipany yesterday. He works literally 3 minutes away from me in the city and he cant spare 10 min-15min to see me for coffee? Also he hasnt messaged me since Sunday. If he really was into me he'd make sure to ask me out before anyone else does. He made it sound like he was gonna ask me out when I told him 'if u want that coffee, ud have asked by now'. He said 'I'll see how things go this week". I feel so silly and naive for falling for his charade and playing into his game Im smarter than this, yet I fell for the oldest trick in the book. He is probably laughing his @$$ off for the way he's lied to me and how he got away with it. I hate the dating game. I hate boys and their games. This guy im talking about is 28 (im 21)!! Isnt he too old for playing games?!?! He's not playing games with you, he just doesn't want to hurt your feelings by flat out rejecting your offer to go for a coffee. Like you said, it's obvious he's not into you, and most likely will never be. It happens to everyone, it's happened to me before. You're not going to be EVERYONE'S type. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Myst Posted July 8, 2008 Author Share Posted July 8, 2008 He got away with what???? Just move on.. period... He got away with playing with my feelings, with having all the power. I know he didnt take anything from me but still it sucks Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 I don't think he's playing any game. Maybe you read his body language wrongly or read too much into what he said to you. Like you said, he works 3 minutes away and if he was really into you - he would have asked. Link to post Share on other sites
JohnnyBlaze Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 He got away with playing with my feelings, with having all the power. I know he didnt take anything from me but still it sucks I agree with everyone else here so far. He didn't 'get away' with anything. He wasn't playing; there's no big prank or plot at work. If he was, he'd have made a definite date and then stood you up. What he was doing was trying to lessen the blow. He likes you, just not in the same way you like him. He just didn't want to hurt you, that's all. Link to post Share on other sites
Pedigree Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 I hate the dating game. I hate boys and their games. If it makes you feel better, girls play games too . I'm of the opinion that subtle rejections are better than an outright "No". You're the one that has to figure things out for yourself and because you figured it out yourself, it's easier to go "Oh, I'll have to move on, then". I've been outright rejected and I was in denial for close to 2 months. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Myst Posted July 9, 2008 Author Share Posted July 9, 2008 Question - did he initially ask you for coffee, or did you ask him first? then I assume he said he'd message you when he wanted to take you for coffee? This guy's leaving in a week anyway, so it's not like you can have this huge committed romance before he leaves. Come to think of it - maybe he DOES like you a lot and doesn't want to become too attached before he leaves. Plus....it is a lot of things to do before you pack off and go to Europe for three months. He's probably busy. So how about in 3 months after he has come back you take it from there? Update: So today i received a text message from him that he had written at 3 am today while drunk. It said 'love ya'. He told me last week he may send me one (i thought he was joking), because he'd be going out to party a couple of times this week. The message really annoyed me and I thought it was quite sleazy. Obviously i didn't reply to his assonine text message. If he wasnt playing games, why on earth would he send such a message? And yes, he was the one that initiated the coffee outing. Link to post Share on other sites
Samari Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 Now you know how guys feel. But seriously, I learned when things like this happened you just move on. The more you wait the more miserable you'll be. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Myst Posted July 10, 2008 Author Share Posted July 10, 2008 I agree with everyone else here so far. He didn't 'get away' with anything. He wasn't playing; there's no big prank or plot at work. If he was, he'd have made a definite date and then stood you up. What he was doing was trying to lessen the blow. He likes you, just not in the same way you like him. He just didn't want to hurt you, that's all. So today I received yet another message from him written at 1am in the morning. He wrote 'Where r u snob?". Im guessing he was annoyed that I didnt reply to his assonine 'love ya' message. Does that not sound like he's playing games? Link to post Share on other sites
JP77 Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 So today I received yet another message from him written at 1am in the morning. He wrote 'Where r u snob?". Im guessing he was annoyed that I didnt reply to his assonine 'love ya' message. Does that not sound like he's playing games? No, he's not playing games, he's just mental. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Myst Posted July 10, 2008 Author Share Posted July 10, 2008 No, he's not playing games, he's just mental. Lol maybe. Oh i just got a text message from him, literally 30 seconds ago. It said 'Why u so quiet?'. Hmmm..sounds like he's annoyed that im not replying to his text messages..And still in the time it took him to wonder that and send that text message, he still couldve asked me for coffee. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 It said 'Why u so quiet?'."Call me and find out" *sigh* Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 Lol maybe. Oh i just got a text message from him, literally 30 seconds ago. It said 'Why u so quiet?'. Hmmm..sounds like he's annoyed that im not replying to his text messages..And still in the time it took him to wonder that and send that text message, he still couldve asked me for coffee. You realise now, YOU'RE playing games by not replying...? Works both ways. And age is immaterial when it comes to playing games. Guys stay mentally at the age of 9 for most of their lives, anyway! And I hate to say it but - you're only 21?! Forgive me for saying so, but you are very young and green behind the ears too... (as we all are or were at this tender age---you're only a few years past your teens....!) Why not just look at a relationship as a means of having a bit of educational fun? Don't be so serious, enjoy your life, and don't be too needy. Sorry, but you're kinda coming across that way right now - as if the guy should propose undying love and immediate commitment to you, simply because he came across as friendly. Shrug it off, just be cool, and relax!! Link to post Share on other sites
Pedigree Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 "Call me and find out" *sigh* I'd do what he said. You have to still have some interest in this bloke to care about what he's saying instead of moving on like people have said. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Myst Posted July 10, 2008 Author Share Posted July 10, 2008 You realise now, YOU'RE playing games by not replying...? Works both ways. And age is immaterial when it comes to playing games. Guys stay mentally at the age of 9 for most of their lives, anyway! Don't be so serious, enjoy your life, and don't be too needy. Sorry, but you're kinda coming across that way right now - as if the guy should propose undying love and immediate commitment to you, simply because he came across as friendly. Shrug it off, just be cool, and relax!! So im playing the game now because i chose to spare my dignity and self esteem? I deserve better than his meaningless, inane text messages. So im coming off needy by choosing not to reply? If he said he was going to plan to have coffee with me this week, maybe he shouldve text me that by now. It is already Thursday and we both knew each other were going to be busy on the weekend. Then he leaves on Monday. So that leaves tomorrow then and still no message. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Myst Posted July 10, 2008 Author Share Posted July 10, 2008 I'd do what he said. You have to still have some interest in this bloke to care about what he's saying instead of moving on like people have said. Of course i havent moved on. I still dont want to say that. What if he doesnt? He should call me. I wouldve appreciated a nice message like, 'Hey is there anything wrong?". That i wouldve replied to. OR get this. HE might wanna call me himself. How hard is that? Link to post Share on other sites
Pedigree Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 I take your point. But looking at the way things are going, you're the one that needs to break the stalemate. If I SMSd a girl I'm interested in twice and get no response, I'm going to consider it game over. Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 Yes, you are playing games. But everyone does it, so don't be offended! You're taking all this waaaaay to seriously! Just ease up and have a good time! Why are you hanging on to his every contact as if it needs analysis, definition, investigation, understanding....? Fer chrissakes, chill out! Like I said, you are far too young to be analysing head games. If he's messing with your head and you don't like it, bar him from your 'phone. It's simple. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 Post #15... I often get overlooked in the crowd. It must be the tricycle Link to post Share on other sites
Author Myst Posted July 10, 2008 Author Share Posted July 10, 2008 I take your point. But looking at the way things are going, you're the one that needs to break the stalemate. If I SMSd a girl I'm interested in twice and get no response, I'm going to consider it game over. If he was so interested, wouldnt he have asked me for that coffee by now? Yknow what I just realised, just 10 seconds ago? Maybe he's just using me to flatter his ego. Here I am 21 and hes 28. He mite be having some sort of quarter life crisis and gets off at a young girl paying attention. He's just stringing me along. Link to post Share on other sites
JP77 Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 I take your point. But looking at the way things are going, you're the one that needs to break the stalemate. If I SMSd a girl I'm interested in twice and get no response, I'm going to consider it game over. Same here. You're the one playing games. Not him. Link to post Share on other sites
JP77 Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 If he was so interested, wouldnt he have asked me for that coffee by now? Take a chill pill. He's not moved onto the second stage because you are ignoring him. Has this thought crossed your mind? Link to post Share on other sites
Pedigree Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 Yknow what I just realised, just 10 seconds ago? Maybe he's just using me to flatter his ego. Here I am 21 and hes 28. He mite be having some sort of quarter life crisis and gets off at a young girl paying attention. He's just stringing me along. Well, if that's the case don't worry about him and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Myst Posted July 10, 2008 Author Share Posted July 10, 2008 Same here. You're the one playing games. Not him. Did it ever occur to anyone, how I felt when I got those drunken messages? 'Love ya??!" How tacky was that? Take a chill pill. He's not moved onto the second stage because you are ignoring him. Has this thought crossed your mind? Oh please. He shoulve asked me, during that time he sent that love ya message. He shouldve planned it earlier to make sure I was free. We know we both work very busy jobs. Thats the least he couldve done. Link to post Share on other sites
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