bentnotbroken Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 BNB, do you really think fair play is going to come into the picture with people in an affair? It hadn't up to that point, so why now? Basically, when I ask a question, I already have an opinion, I would like to hear someone else's response, especially from those involved. My mind will never change on affairs or the fallout of them, but the thought processes of those involved and the lengths of the deception boggles my mind. Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 Basically, when I ask a question, I already have an opinion, I would like to hear someone else's response, especially from those involved. My mind will never change on affairs or the fallout of them, but the thought processes of those involved and the lengths of the deception boggles my mind. It's interesting, those three things that the OP listed as "threats" are really in very different leagues, to me. I mean, as a former BS, of course I can envisage sending the other BS whatever information I have about the affair that I want. Why the heck shouldn't I? I'd personally consider it turnabout is fair play, not a threat. I mean, from the OP's point of view, I can see why, if she has the opportunity to intercept that package, then of course she would. Round one to the OP. Of course she doesn't have to shoot herself in the foot if she doesn't want to - but then, why should the BS agree to shoot herself in the foot, rather than use what information she's got? Seems fair to me. So I'm not sure why the OP was indignant about that package or considered that particular move "threatening." That's stretching "threatening" a bit too far. Not sure what I think about the work environment issue. That's less clear to me, and may be going a bit far for my tastes. The rape threat, though, that's something else altogether; it's practically on a different planet, and thoroughly inexcusable. I wouldn't put these three things on an equal footing at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Blue Eyed Brain Posted July 13, 2008 Share Posted July 13, 2008 I would not respond. A marriage is based on two people making it work. At some point, BOTH of them gave up. Also, do you really want to hear her side of the story? Somehow, I think there maybe three stories here, so why confuse yourself and your feelings. If you love the guy, then accept him for what's he's worth, NOT what someone else de-values him for. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 13, 2008 Share Posted July 13, 2008 Somehow, I think there maybe three stories here, There's always three sides to every story. His, hers and the truth. Each person sees their own truth, that's why hearing both sides IS important to find out exactly what's going on..But, on LS most of the time we only hear one side, and that one side is the 3rd party who isn't the married person or the betrayed spouse..So maybe saying they are 4 sides to a story when cheating is involved but the OP sees things in her/his way as well. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted July 13, 2008 Share Posted July 13, 2008 I would not respond. A marriage is based on two people making it work. At some point, BOTH of them gave up. Also, do you really want to hear her side of the story? Somehow, I think there maybe three stories here, so why confuse yourself and your feelings. If you love the guy, then accept him for what's he's worth, NOT what someone else de-values him for. I wanted to know everything so that I could make an informed decision. I wanted to hear both sides. They matched up on some things and not on others. Then I wanted her to hear my side, that I wasn't the things the liar said, but since she lives in our community she already knew that. So basically it was just me letting her know that her excuses for doing what she did, were just that excuses of a serial cheater. Link to post Share on other sites
Angel1111 Posted July 13, 2008 Share Posted July 13, 2008 I got an E-mail from MM's W, should I respond or leave it be? They have been separated for several weeks and she knows all about me. She sent me an e-mail to lay out all of this "best" qualities and his past affairs. She said she just wanted to give me a heads up. I really want to respond and just say thanks for the heads up because she seems like she just needs some kind of closure. Not sure of her intentions or what mine would be but I feel like I need to say something. Should I or shouldn't I? If her email was sent in sincerity, without sarcasm, then I would respond to her with a simple "thank you" of some kind. But I wouldn't say too much because it may come back to bite you. Then I'd talk to MM about the other affairs. One affair where he fell in love is one thing, several affairs is a big red flag. Edited: Sorry, I didn't read your other posts and didn't realize you had written her. Link to post Share on other sites
child_of_isis Posted July 14, 2008 Share Posted July 14, 2008 My mother has a saying....if you want to know anything about a man, ask his ex. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted July 14, 2008 Share Posted July 14, 2008 My mother has a saying....if you want to know anything about a man, ask his ex. Wow, that is kinda true. I think this woman was giving PG the heads up. but she doesnt want to listen so whatever the XMM brings upon her head then let her deal with it. Alot of times the BS is not vindictive, they merely just wanna state the truth. Link to post Share on other sites
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