Tomcat33 Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 Do you have any idea how stupid this sounds? It's like you are trying to sell people how great it is to be an ow. Sorry honey I'm not buying it. Honestly, all pain of the uncertainty/confusion and obvious needs for exclusivity aside, it was pretty darn good. I personally got the absolute best of my ex-guy, it was a LOT of fun and filled with romantic suprises, the guy was super affectionate and attentive, he doted over me non-stop I mean the guy REALLY made me feel loved, it was intense I hav had a degree of that before with boyfriends but this was double that. I am telling you, you get the absolute BEST of a man (in a romantic sense) in love with you in this type of scenario. The guy would always put me first. So it is not stupid at all, I know excatly what OW is talking about, obviously you don't have experience with this so you can't relate, but you are entitled to your opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 Hey, I've got the market cornered on flingin' whipped cream! I'm a pro! I know I forgot about that maybe we should play teams, and I'll make sure you are on my team. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 Oil. I prefer watching all of you in the ring - oil wrestling!! I might jump in!! I'm still sitting here waiting for the BW vs OW oil wrestling grudge match!!!! C'mon ladies!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
luvmy2ns Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 I know I forgot about that maybe we should play teams, and I'll make sure you are on my team. We'd kill, wouldn't we?! With our feisty attitudes and deadly aim with the Mixmaster! Link to post Share on other sites
luvmy2ns Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 I'm still sitting here waiting for the BW vs OW oil wrestling grudge match!!!! C'mon ladies!!!! Owl, you little voyeur you! I'm not a BW or an OW, but I still want in on the whipped cream whippin'! Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 I'm still sitting here waiting for the BW vs OW oil wrestling grudge match!!!! C'mon ladies!!!! Funny you should say that because yesterday I was going to say, the guys have been really quiet and staying away from this thread but as soon as there was mention of wipped cream wrestling I knew you lot would come out of the woodwork! We'd kill, wouldn't we?! With our feisty attitudes and deadly aim with the Mixmaster! Yes but I am not sure if feistiness in this case is actually to our benefit since wipped cream can get pretty slippery (as you must already know), one angry move and we end up with a broken limb.. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 When am I EVER quiet? LOL Link to post Share on other sites
noforgiveness Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 Honestly, all pain of the uncertainty/confusion and obvious needs for exclusivity aside, it was pretty darn good. I personally got the absolute best of my ex-guy, it was a LOT of fun and filled with romantic suprises, the guy was super affectionate and attentive, he doted over me non-stop I mean the guy REALLY made me feel loved, it was intense I hav had a degree of that before with boyfriends but this was double that. I am telling you, you get the absolute BEST of a man (in a romantic sense) in love with you in this type of scenario. The guy would always put me first. So it is not stupid at all, I know excatly what OW is talking about, obviously you don't have experience with this so you can't relate, but you are entitled to your opinion. Oh hogwash. You get all this in a normal relationship. Being the ow had nothing to do with how he treated you and how you felt. You will never sell me on being an ow. Link to post Share on other sites
luvmy2ns Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 When am I EVER quiet? LOL And when the oil came out and the bodies started slippin' and slidin' around, I can just picture you sitting on the sidelines, leaning forward for better view, eyes glazed over, a tiny rivulet of spittle slowly wending its way down the side of your chin... Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 Oh hogwash. You get all this in a normal relationship. Being the ow had nothing to do with how he treated you and how you felt. You will never sell me on being an ow. No it didn't, that fact that he was head over heels in love with me did. And NO you don't get this as the BS they don't get any of this when he is giving his romantic all to the OW. I am not selling you anything I am just telling you how it is. Link to post Share on other sites
luvmy2ns Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 No it didn't, that fact that he was head over heels in love with me did. And NO you don't get this in a normal relationship the W does not get any of this when he is giving his romantic all to OW. I am not selling you anything I am just telling you how it is. I get it in my normal relationship. We're crazy about each other; can't keep our hands off each other. LOVE spending time together laughing and talking. He is always attentive and never forgets special days. Of course you get that in a normal relationship. If you didn't get that, it wouldn't BE a normal relationship. Right? Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 When am I EVER quiet? LOL when you are observing a whipped cream cat fight? Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 I get it in my normal relationship. We're crazy about each other; can't keep our hands off each other. LOVE spending time together laughing and talking. He is always attentive and never forgets special days. Of course you get that in a normal relationship. If you didn't get that, it wouldn't BE a normal relationship. Right? Yes as I said, in a normal relationship of course you do. But when you are sharing a man in body the OW is actually getting him in heart therefore we do get the "best of him", who needs a paper cut out of a man floating around your home? You want the real deal. So when OW say that we get the best of him in that situation we actually get the part of the man all women yearn for. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 No it didn't, that fact that he was head over heels in love with me did. And NO you don't get this as the BS they don't get any of this when he is giving his romantic all to the OW. I'll agree. You don't get it when you're the BS...DURING THE AFFAIR. But that doesn't mean that you didn't get it before the affair...or that can't get it once the affair is ended. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 So when OW say that we get the best of him in that situation we actually get the part of the man all women yearn for. Agreed...you get PART of the man that all women yearn for. AND...the BW is getting PART of the man that all women yearn for as well. He doesn't shut off completely to the BS. My wife didn't shut off completely to me either during her affair. She did to an extent...that's true. BUT...OM couldn't get "all of her" either...because there was still part of her left in our marriage as well. Not just her physically being with me...but the fact that there was still love and family activities and everything else that were things that she loved HERE too. I don't agree that the OW get the BEST part. They get A part...just like the BS does. Link to post Share on other sites
noforgiveness Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 Yes as I said, in a normal relationship of course you do. But when you are sharing a man in body the OW is actually getting him in heart therefore we do get the "best of him", who needs a paper cut out of a man floating around your home? You want the real deal. So when OW say that we get the best of him in that situation we actually get the part of the man all women yearn for. :laugh: You really think you get the REAL man? You get the fantasy. You get the person he wants to be that his wife knows he isn't. you get all the glitter and shine and false pretenses you don't get the real him in a part time relaionship. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 I'll agree. You don't get it when you're the BS...DURING THE AFFAIR. But that doesn't mean that you didn't get it before the affair...or that can't get it once the affair is ended. Well let's not mix apples and oranges no one said anything about the before or after, we are strictly talking about during the triangle, so when the OP steps into the picture. The BS gets the short end of the stick because all the affection and attention goes to the OP, so understand what we mean when we say we get "the best" of the WS, we are getting what any person yearns for and more than likely the WS is depriving their spouse of this. Of course the WS convinces you it was non existent anyway in the marriage and that both parties were depriving one another of this so as the OP we don't feel we are taking anything away, if it wasn't there then how could we be taking it away? On some cases of course these are lies in others it is the plain truth. It all comes out in the wash. Rarely do WS give the same amount of affection/emotion to both, it is next to impossible to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Kamikaze Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 Just how do most/many/some Xmm treat their BS once the affair is over? How long does the remorse last? Do most men just become passive? Just curious. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 :laugh: You really think you get the REAL man? You get the fantasy. You get the person he wants to be that his wife knows he isn't. you get all the glitter and shine and false pretenses you don't get the real him in a part time relaionship. I got the real him I got to see him as real as he gets I got to see this man at his abosolute lowest and saw this man cry more than enough, I saw him worry and fear, I saw him at his most vulnerable, I saw him confused and I saw him as his world fell apart, most people don't see this from their partners until a crisis sitution happens so DON'T tell me I didn't get to see a real man. Again you speak from inexperience. Link to post Share on other sites
luvmy2ns Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 But when you are sharing a man in body the OW is actually getting him in heart In your case, I would say that is true. But read many threads in this forum and you will see that is most definitely NOT the case. The OW may have been led to believe she had his heart, but when the ***** hits the fan, they find out otherwise in many, many cases. AND the OW never REALLY knows what's going on in the home. The MM could be giving his W all the OW gets and much more. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 And again...when the WS is still living at home, still engaging in family activities, still sleeping/living with his spouse...his heart is nearly never completely checked out of that relationship either. He's SPLIT between both...he's not WHOLLY dedicated to EITHER. Link to post Share on other sites
luvmy2ns Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 And again...when the WS is still living at home, still engaging in family activities, still sleeping/living with his spouse...his heart is nearly never completely checked out of that relationship either. He's SPLIT between both...he's not WHOLLY dedicated to EITHER. Right on as usual, Owl. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 I don't agree that the OW get the BEST part. Well you can disagree all you want but since you are not an OW and have no idea what it feels like to be doted after like that by someone married and professing their love to you in words and actions you really can only form an opinion on imagination not on what you actually lived. Listen what is the BEST of a person? What is your idea of the best of a person. here is my idea of the best of a person 1. uncoditional displays of love through affection and attention 2. devotion in mind and soul and actions 2. attention/persistence 4. understanding 5. sexual attention 6. physical attention 7. attention to be made to feel special in every way 8. compliments 9. gifts for no reason 10. mad love making sessions 11. simply looking into your eyes and making your soul dance 12. dedication in the good times and bad 13. sharing of goals and dreams long conversations 14. communication 15. admiration look the list can go on and on, and if you don't think those are the BEST things a person can give you then you have some strange needs. I got ALL those things from this man, and his was wasn't even getting ONE of those during the time we were together. I don't know what is left to give to a spouse after you give all that to a thrid party? So please explain how an OP does NOT get the best? Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 In your case, I would say that is true. But read many threads in this forum and you will see that is most definitely NOT the case. The OW may have been led to believe she had his heart, but when the ***** hits the fan, they find out otherwise in many, many cases. AND the OW never REALLY knows what's going on in the home. The MM could be giving his W all the OW gets and much more. No it is not just MY case, many many couples are not giving each other and the WS gives to the OP. I diasagree I was a one off because mine wasn't living at home. There are SO many couples under the same roof living as strangers. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 Just how do most/many/some Xmm treat their BS once the affair is over? How long does the remorse last? Do most men just become passive? Typically, the go through a "withdrawl period", where they mourn the loss of the affair relationship. During this time, he's not investing ANYTHING in rebuilding the marriage relationship. This can last weeks/months, depending on a lot of variables. During this time, they can't focus on anything but their own distress. Once that begins to fade, they start raising their head up and looking around at the devestation they've caused. They only then begin actually starting to see the extent of what's gone on...and start to get the start of that remorse. As time goes on, as the grief fades, the remorse sets in. How long it lasts depends on a lot of variables...how difficult the recovery is for the marriage and for the BS. This make any sense? Link to post Share on other sites
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