pinkroses Posted July 31, 2003 Share Posted July 31, 2003 I'm just wondering if anyone has any suggestions on how to get this word out of someone's mouth. I am sure the man in my life feels this way by all the ways he's acted and talked. He acts quite serious about me and wants to be with me, see me, calls me all the time, etc. He even left a phone message telling me he "didn't want to say the L word, but he was on the border". We've known each other off and on for a couple of years as casual friends, it's only been the last couple of months that there has been more between us. We're both in our 30's, divorced, etc., we're not kids. I know relationships can be really scarey, and he may be afraid I won't say it back... there could be many reasons. I am just pretty sure he does love me, but I'd really like to hear it one of these days soon. I'd like to encourage him somehow that he wouldn't be rejected if he said it, I feel like I love him too, but I don't know how to do that without saying it myself or being too obvious. I'm pretty old-fashioned about such things, I think the man should really say it first. I'm just waiting, hoping it comes out, but I'm just wondering if there might be a way to encourage the word out of him. Link to post Share on other sites
vixen Posted July 31, 2003 Share Posted July 31, 2003 I'm going through a divorce, and well, after being dumped by the ex hubby i was crushed, affraid, angry, distrusting, you get the pic. Then i started dateing a guy i dated in highschool. perhaps a bit to soon after the break up, but in my opinion that is how i do things, it's natural me and i wasn't about to change. Anywho, this story has a point. Jon and i started dateing, seeing each other 3 or more times a week. some 3 weeks in i'm knowing that once again i am falling for him and this time it's ok. (in high school i broke up with him becouse i was 18 and he was 16, didn't like the age diffrance.) So i says to him one night, we're standing in the kitchen, in the dark laughing, and talking and i lean forward becouse he pulled me close, and i whisper in his ear. "jon, i'm afraid. I'm sure i'm falling for you." I was scared out of my mind. And jon squeezed me and said, don't be, I am too." Then somehow, we said our i love yous. Not that night, but soon after. I don't know who said it, but that doesn't mattter, what matters is the I love you too. We use to take turns on who said it first. He knew i was ooober scared. I said, "im putting my heart down on a chopping block each time i say i love you." And he said, my hearts right there with it. So my advice, suggest it. Don't say i love you yet, say i'm falling for your, falling in love, so on make it up, but let him know your on the same page. That here you are, you would never hurt him, and that it's safe in your woods. Does that make sence? I suggest this becoase it worked for me. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted July 31, 2003 Share Posted July 31, 2003 Don't rush him. If he says he's on the border, believe him. Just be wonderful you and be appreciative of him and make sure he knows he can trust you, and it will come with time. Link to post Share on other sites
vixen Posted July 31, 2003 Share Posted July 31, 2003 i think what she's trying to say is she wants to let him know she loves him, but is to old fashion to say it first. Like once he says it, the doors wide open for her. Sometimes our hearts won't let us wait. I meen your advice like usual is sound, but if there is a way she can show him she's ready it's ok, then this might help elieviate some of that love build up. Remember, never say your first i love yous in the heat of passion. That was what i was always told. I love you during love making is great, but it can't be the first one. the first one should be like on the coutch or in the car, or where ever you two are haveing a moment. That's what i've always been told. I think it's good advice so i've taken it. ( I love this hoppy bunny) Link to post Share on other sites
NEONINK Posted July 31, 2003 Share Posted July 31, 2003 Be glad you didn't hear the L word the first week or the first couple of months. How real would that have implied? Take your time. What's the rush? Enjoy the fact that you feel it, and relax. Link to post Share on other sites
mikej_8080 Posted August 2, 2003 Share Posted August 2, 2003 He'll say it when he is ready. He may be afraid to say it cause he thinks you won't say it back. Be really obvious, men like that Link to post Share on other sites
vixen Posted August 2, 2003 Share Posted August 2, 2003 Jon and I just spent the last 10 minutes tossing back and forth the L word. It was in a silly way though. He was going to hang up so he goes, I love you too. And i'm like, i didn't say i love you yet, how could you say I love you too? and he goes oh i think you did. And i was like no.. and so he said I love you too again and i'm like, what do i say after that, i can't very well say i love you again becouse you'd have to say i love you too again, and i can't say i love you too too, now can it. LOL Vixen :bunny Link to post Share on other sites
NEONINK Posted August 4, 2003 Share Posted August 4, 2003 Vixen, I like him!!! Smart guy. Good for you. Link to post Share on other sites
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