Is it possible to get back together after 10 months of seperation?

[tcwhiteshark]

To make a long story short, I was dumped by my girlfriend 10 months ago and what is making me so miserable was the way that she dumped me. She just stopped talking to me. Every time I would try and call her she would just say that she didin't feel like talking and hang up. I had sent her a christmas gift, birthday gift and a letter explaining what she meant to me but still nothing. When we were going out everything seemed great, she would always tell me how much she loved me and I would always tell her how much I loved her. I always treated her good and never did anything to hurt her. I just don't understand why she was so hard on me.I would really like to know if anyone has ever had this type of problem and if there is anyway to communicate with someone that just shuts you out. I believe that deep down inside that she can't be this cruel but I don't want to communicate with her anymore unless she contacts me. Is it possible to get back together after 10 months of seperation? Our first date anniversary is coming up in August and I would like to know from any women who has dumped there bf if that is a time when they really start thinking about their ex or am I just hoping that she will be thinking of me ?

[jenny]

hey -

 

i'm not sure if this will make you feel better or not - but the advice that women often receive when they are trying to get over someone that was a "life-shaker" (id est - a guy who fundamentally changes and develops who one is) - is to drop him completely and to not look back. it's ruthless, and it's necessary;women will often not move on until they have supplied closure for themselves by firmly closing a chapter of the past.

she might be thinking of you, she probably is, but she's done with you. there is no future with you, in her estimation, and if she does eventually call again it will be out of nostalgia or a weak need for an ego stroking.

i obviously don't know you, or your situation, but this is how i would use the 'gesture of complete ignorance of an ex's existence' - i think most women who know themselves and want to move on would do the same thing. weirdly, it's an homage, not a rejection, but it does mean things are just finished. move on.

 

xox, j

[julieg]

whiteshark, jenny is right. in my experience, the guys i truely had the real thing with are so----o much harder to deal with. out of mental survival going cold turkey if you will is less traumatic in the long run to my wellbeing.

i am sure that she thinks of you more than she'll ever reveal to you. she probably doesn't want to hurt you any more than she has already. if it has already been 10 mos since you broke up, i'd say the only way you'll get back together is if she dates a lot and sees that the grass was greener with you.

timing may also have a play in this, she may feel you are too serious and she is not ready to settle down.

[K.J]

I think that if you have not talked in the 10 months to move on. Sometimes things happen for the strangest reason that no one can explain. Only she can explain why she stopped talking to you. Of course she thinks of you!! Everyone thinks of there ex's. Is it possable for the 2 of you to get back together, yes it is.

 

One question, Why would you want to start something wiht her again if this is how she left you in the first place?

 

if it does happen You will live life with her thinking that it will happen again then you will also not be as happy as you once were.

I was there myself and fell in love, had a child with this guy and togeth for 6 years, broke up, 4 years later after not having a darn thing to do with each other or he in his kids life. We got back together. I loved the thought of us together again but let me tell you i hated the relationship because the fears of the first relationship kept on coming back. 7 years later we broke up and now we are the best of friends. We have 2 kids and we tlak all the time. We are comforable with one another. We admit that we were crazy and laugh sometimes even cry because we both worked so hard and it was not ment to be.

Move on and if it happens again great give it your best shot but please deal with the hurt that you are feeling, even if you get back together you not dealing with it, it will still be there

 

hope my experience has helped you a little

GET OUT THERE HAVE FUN WITH LIFE!! or try

[tcwhiteshark]

Thanks for all the advice it's not that I can't accept her leaving me, it's just the way that she dumped me that makes me feel so miserable. I can't believe that she is this cold just shutting out someone who really cares about her and never did anything to hurt her. I think I would have dealt with it better if she would have given me a reason and just been fair and give me some closure. It just felt like it was mental abuse. I tried to date another girl 6 months after our breakup but I always would think of my ex in whatever situation I was in and I just can't get over it.I learned one thing though, I will never be mentally abusive to anyone, I think that the silent treatment is the worst thing you can do to anyone and no one deserves to be treated like that. It's frustrating not knowing why she left me and I guess I just won't have peace of mind until I know. How do you deal with somone like that?

[Starlight43]

I say that you give ONE last chance to this girl. BUT the last chance that you give her should be a letter and in the letter dont say how much she means to you just ask her for an explanation or why things ended or why she is acting so cruel to you so you can just get on with things.

[superd]

give up, don't bother, keep moving forward, its a trap, i was thinking about doing the same thing with my ex, resist the urge, if 1)she let you go and 2)without a reason, she doesn't love you nor will she ever. You are just looking to get yourself in trouble or hurt or both. Beware, and know that somethings we must leave in the past for a reason.

[tcwhiteshark]

I won't send her another letter because in my last letter I wrote her I told her that I wouldn't bother her anymore. It was my way for some closure plus I know that she will never respond to me. I guess I'm just trying to figue out why someone acts like that. Could she really be that heartless and not give me any reason to leave me. I would just like to know from anyone who has ever had to deal with someone like that or from any woman that had done that to their ex. I would like to know what drives a person to to that. I would also like to know from any woman if they still think of their ex on their anniversary and if it ever drums up old feelings.

[superd]

I think there are some things that you will never be able to figure out. Who knows!!!! There are alot of selfish people that only look after themselves and don't really care about anyone else. It really doesn't matter why they are that way because in the end it is clear that they choose the way they live their life like anyone else. No one forces anyone to be a piece of crap, its one thing that is definitely a highly personal decision because I do believe that the world loves us and doesn't care what we choose to do. So forget about her, she is not good enough for you. Being a heartless b**** will catch up with her eventually if only for the simple reason that it is the single best way to miss out on life and all of the good things it has for us. I think that overall, it is a strange time for the world and perhaps your not meeting the right type of person may not mean that you are flawed but it may mean that the world is going through some crazy changes and you will have to wait them out. Things change, today's peasant may be tommorrow's king. Keep the faith.

[cindy0039]

I'm sorry but I have to agree with the others. You are much too young to be getting married. If you want to earn back your mother's trust and respect, stay at home and follow her rules. Go to college, keep a job....THEN think about marriage down the road.