Whose ex has NOT contacted them?

[borelandkaren]

The last time Tony contacted me was the 25th March (sad huh!!!) after the police had just busted him for growing dope in the house. He rang me to accuse me of dobbing him in, which I hadn't. (Kinda wish I had seeing as I got accused of it anyway but it's not something I'd do!!!) The next contact I had with him that he replied to was about 3-4 weeks after that when I received another bill for which he owed half of the money and I knew I'd never get. I sent him a furious txt message about Karma and the smartarse sent one back, saying, "NO KARMA HERE, ONLY GOOD AFTER BAD!" Well, as you'd know, I was incensed!!! Txts flew back and forth for a couple of hours after that and one I got back from him offered me closure. I knew at that point he wanted me back. I didn't take the bait. I've stayed away from anything to do with him since then. I still hear odd things about him, like the fact that this week he bounced a cheque to one of the companies he deals with on a regular basis in the business. He hasn't changed, he won't change. Do I want him to contact me. Damn right I do. But for all the wrong reasons. So, no, in all honesty, I don't. But yes, in all honesty, I do??? Worked it out yet?? Nor have I.

[Grace112]

The last time he contacted me was August of last year for me to pick up my remaining items. He stressed that he didn't want to see me because it would be too hard for him to do so, so we arranged for me to pick up my things and leave the keys.

 

Part of me really, really wants to see him. I think I'm more curious to know what my reaction would be than curious for his. I think I've made progress over the year, but not enough to know for certain how I would react. As I lay awake in bed at night, I play over scenarios in my head. In some of them, I can just walk away. In others, I'm angry and want to tell him everything that I couldn't before. In the rest, we've both had time to come to grips with our own personal issues and things can be good again.

 

You know what's funny about these late night fantasies? I end up dreaming about him in one of these 3 different ways, but the result is still the same - he isn't faithful and I end up having to go through that heartache again. It's like my subconscious is telling me regardless of how it might start out - the end result will always be the same.

[kizik]

I'm re-encountering some feelings of longing. Not quite like before, but it's still odd to feel it.

 

Orange,

 

it's all OK. Anger, longing, indifference, missing - it's all OK. If I had one piece of advice for all of us, it would be this. It is generic and trite. And I like it:

 

Do everything you can to make yourself happy, because no one else is going to do it for you.

[SarahT111]

Kizik!

 

Thankyou for this post! It helped me so much!!

My ex has not spoken a word to me since dumping me in dec last year.

He broke up with me via txt after 2.5 years and never once spoke to me or looked back again.

Through the grapevine I learned he got himself a new gf the very next day and never once spoke of me again.

He carried on a totally happy life while I was in pieces.

I too came on here and got so mad and upset when people told of their stories with their exs still contacting them etc.

I felt like absolute crap to know that I was so easy to dispose and replace. It scarred me for life and I have no idea if I will ever fully be able to get over the hurt it caused me. Its been 7ish months and just reading this post bought tears to my eyes.

But thanks for posting it!

It helps to know im not the only one!!

I wish you the best of luck, you deserve it.

[kizik]

Sarah,

 

wow, your ex is a complete a$$! Be glad he's gone!

 

Glad I could help you. Thanks for the well wishes.

[CaliGuy]

They don't contact me, they just stalk me on my web site. LOL

[fmlyhm]

Kizik!

 

Thankyou for this post! It helped me so much!!

My ex has not spoken a word to me since dumping me in dec last year.

He broke up with me via txt after 2.5 years and never once spoke to me or looked back again.

Through the grapevine I learned he got himself a new gf the very next day and never once spoke of me again.

He carried on a totally happy life while I was in pieces.

I too came on here and got so mad and upset when people told of their stories with their exs still contacting them etc.

I felt like absolute crap to know that I was so easy to dispose and replace. It scarred me for life and I have no idea if I will ever fully be able to get over the hurt it caused me. Its been 7ish months and just reading this post bought tears to my eyes.

But thanks for posting it!

It helps to know im not the only one!!

I wish you the best of luck, you deserve it.

I feel the same way, It has been the worst year of my life! But the difference is, he hasn't had any problem coming into my work area and talking to my workmate, (female) while ignoring me. One of his big kicks whenever we weren't talking was to talk to other females right in front of me. That's what ended it all for me 8 months ago. I had enough of his games after 7 years. I loved him, but I just couldn't play it anymore. I cry everyday. It could have ended so much better, but this was his way of showing me who the winner was. Someday I am hoping he comes out of his "numb" state and realize who he is, because it wasn't me he didn't like, it was himself! and throwing me away isn't going to change that. He is evil! Only an evil person would rub the fact that they have tossed you out of thier life, and pretend someone else is taking your place, in your face.

[ioncebelieved]

I feel the same way, It has been the worst year of my life! But the difference is, he hasn't had any problem coming into my work area and talking to my workmate, (female) while ignoring me. One of his big kicks whenever we weren't talking was to talk to other females right in front of me. That's what ended it all for me 8 months ago. I had enough of his games after 7 years. I loved him, but I just couldn't play it anymore. I cry everyday. It could have ended so much better, but this was his way of showing me who the winner was. Someday I am hoping he comes out of his "numb" state and realize who he is, because it wasn't me he didn't like, it was himself! and throwing me away isn't going to change that. He is evil! Only an evil person would rub the fact that they have tossed you out of thier life, and pretend someone else is taking your place, in your face.

 

That would be quite understandable if you treated him badly! That behavior is just so petty, immature and pulled off by one sorry excuse for a human!!

[fmlyhm]

I didn't treat him that way, I never wanted him to even think I wanted anyone else. Like I said he is Evil!

[nopainnogain]

My ex has not contacted me at all since we split. But feels no different than the last year we were together,she closed up.Never initiated nothing,nada. Not a g0d dam dime for your time.

[Peter_pan]

something tells me its not the last i'll hear of her but then im thinking i probably wont do...

 

yeah she lives in a different place now but her home has been this place longer than where she is now.

 

i miss her alot but there is nothing i can do about it. she didnt "have" to go out with this new guy or "date" him as she put it.

[roghornio]

something tells me its not the last i'll hear of her but then im thinking i probably wont do...

 

yeah she lives in a different place now but her home has been this place longer than where she is now.

 

i miss her alot but there is nothing i can do about it. she didnt "have" to go out with this new guy or "date" him as she put it.

 

Do you miss her, or do you miss having someone?

think about it...

[sunshinegirl]

Mine hasn't contacted, and these waves of sadness wash over me to think that he has walked away so easily, and (probably) doesn't miss me or what we had.

 

(Even though what we had was shallow and, I now realize, his emotional "flatness" was finally getting on my nerves and causing me to act out in some passive aggressive ways with him.)

 

But I still miss him.

 

Messed up, huh.

[Rainswept77]

Mine hasn't contacted me in 10 years, "The one"

 

So dont think your alone in this, Just keep pressing foward.

 

If she does contact you, it will happen when you least expect it or when you are over the relationship. I'm still not over my ex of long ago, and I haven't heard back from her since then, as a result of that.

 

 

--RW77

[northstar1]

Mine hasn't contacted, and these waves of sadness wash over me to think that he has walked away so easily, and (probably) doesn't miss me or what we had.

 

(Even though what we had was shallow and, I now realize, his emotional "flatness" was finally getting on my nerves and causing me to act out in some passive aggressive ways with him.)

 

But I still miss him.

 

Messed up, huh.

 

You know Sunshine, having any contact isn't necessarily good at all.

 

Unless they are contacting you to say "i miss you, i want to try again", anything else is breadcrumbs, and just keeps the cycle going.

 

I'm learning this the hard way myself.

[ioncebelieved]

Still NC contact from ex and I have not contacted her. Some days are better than others. If we all could only see into the future we would not be so bad off now. Monday will be 1 month NC!!!

[nopainnogain]

Still NC contact from ex and I have not contacted her. Some days are better than others. If we all could only see into the future we would not be so bad off now. Monday will be 1 month NC!!!

 

To think,Theres actually a girl out there that will be our next g/fs. There will be a next g/f and there walking around right now.

[sunshinegirl]

You know Sunshine, having any contact isn't necessarily good at all.

 

Unless they are contacting you to say "i miss you, i want to try again", anything else is breadcrumbs, and just keeps the cycle going.

 

I'm learning this the hard way myself.

 

Grass is greener, huh?

 

I wish I was getting the crumbs. Because I think at this point I've reflected enough on him and our relationship to know I could never get back together with him. What I am wanting is the validation that he misses me and that he hasn't forgotten me.

[CaliGuy]

What I am wanting is the validation that he misses me and that he hasn't forgotten me.

 

You will most likely receive neither. And the longer you wait for it, the longer it will take to heal.

[JustinWolf]

What I am wanting is the validation that he misses me and that he hasn't forgotten me.

 

Don't wait. Live your life, free. Move on and let go. Time will pass and eventually maybe down the road, you will get those but never count on it. Hence why you should just enjoy life as it is now in the present.

[serendip]

Grass is greener, huh?

 

I wish I was getting the crumbs. Because I think at this point I've reflected enough on him and our relationship to know I could never get back together with him. What I am wanting is the validation that he misses me and that he hasn't forgotten me.

 

It really doesn't help...my ex has been contacting me telling me she has been thinking about me...it doesn't take away pain from her cheating.

 

Also it just keeps you stuck longer...by adding more questions like

 

Why did she have a sleepless night and wake up at 5 am just to text me a stupid question like 'what is spelunking' when she can obviously google it...and continue to text me with nothing real to say.

 

If she still has strong emotions for me after a year since the break up that she has a sleepless night...why wouldn't she say what's on her mind?...whether she feels guilty or whether she knows she made a mistake(grass is not so green)...what's the point of her texting me bull****...instead of something real.

[HopeDiesLast]

I just thought i'd ressurect this thread cus it makes me feel like less of a loser. cus my ex hasnt called either. fricking jerk.

anyone else out therE?

[selena_cat]

Sh*t. Makes me think mine is in a new one too, since she aint calling. But there is nothing I can do about that, and I don't want confirmation anyway. Best to stay in the dark and expect the worst.

 

 

I like that saying Kizic, best to stay in the dark and expect the worse,

i just posted hours ago about breaking NC, but i have 6 months NCunder my belt, its just veeeeery hard, but reading these posts have helped me,

it hurts he havent made a single attempt to contact and i keep reading about those whose ex has made contact.

[audrey_1]

Each person heals the way they need to heal. Saying you want to be friends, can be a way to avoid drama. Also, people feel that in order to be mature, you have to be friends with your ex. That's a crock! Heal first, then consider friendship.

 

I won't elaborate on my situation. All my threads are about him. But he came on strong in the beginning, then wanted to be casual, then said we were friends who had been intimate with one another (i.e. sexual). He said he didn't want a relationship, and I thought I could handle it. But here it is, a year later, and I realized that I was in love with him, and I knew I was in trouble. I began NC three days ago after telling him I didn't want to spend time with him anymore, and he followed that with he wanted to "keep a dialogue of friendship," and I told him that right now, I just can't. And I do value his friendship; we had great times together, laughing, conversing, but my feelings crossed into a different realm, and his didn't, so I can't be with him right now. I will not suffer in that way. And TBF, he has mentioned that he thought it was "mature" to be friends with all his exes...It is a crock. It is avoidant. I said that I would not be one of his "girls" he checks in on. I prefer he leave me be, and I want people in my life who give me as much as I give them. What's fair is fair.

[BCCA]

I just thought i'd ressurect this thread cus it makes me feel like less of a loser. cus my ex hasnt called either. fricking jerk.

anyone else out therE?

 

This isnt going to make you feel all that great right this second, but he's actually doing you a favor (albiet for totally selfish reasons on his end). Would you rather he leave you alone or toss you breadcrumbs here and there to keep you waiting in the wings? As far as I'm concerned, anyone who keeps their ex's as friends obviously didnt love that person. I dont see how you could do that to someone you really care about. Its purely selfish on his part, he wants to keep any and all options on the table.

 

There is nothing this guy has to say thats going to make you feel any better unless he really wants to reconcile things. If thats the case, he'll definitely let you know, and you can decide how to proceed.