Whose ex has NOT contacted them?

[sunshinegirl]

I just thought i'd ressurect this thread cus it makes me feel like less of a loser. cus my ex hasnt called either. fricking jerk.

anyone else out therE?

 

Mine hasn't contacted me. You're not alone.

[CaliGuy]

I am grateful my ex hasn't contacted me. I should be thanking her for that as it makes it much easier to move on. I can't imagine the confusion one has to deal with in regards to a wishy-washy ex.

 

Nothing worse than someone riding the fence. As my mom used to say: "Poop or get off the pot!!!!"

[audrey_1]

As far as I'm concerned, anyone who keeps their ex's as friends obviously didnt love that person. I dont see how you could do that to someone you really care about. Its purely selfish on his part, he wants to keep any and all options on the table.

 

That's exactly how I see it with my dearly departed. He collects women in to his friendship pile for later. I don't think he cared deeply for any of them. They were just a little bit of fun for a while. Like a deck of cards. I told him I had no desire to be a part of it. NC all the way. I asked him to delete himself from my Facebook. He hasn't yet. I'm wondering how long I should give him before I do it myself. I don't want to make it easy for him to be a voyeur into my life.

[BCCA]

That's exactly how I see it with my dearly departed. He collects women in to his friendship pile for later. I don't think he cared deeply for any of them. They were just a little bit of fun for a while. Like a deck of cards. I told him I had no desire to be a part of it. NC all the way. I asked him to delete himself from my Facebook. He hasn't yet. I'm wondering how long I should give him before I do it myself. I don't want to make it easy for him to be a voyeur into my life.

 

If nothing else, you've identified a red flag for future relationships. My ex would always say things like "well they were right for that time in my life" which to me means "I got what I needed out of them and was done". Keeping some one around whose heart you broke is like keeping in touch with someone after you ran over their dog. Yeah, makes you feel better to know they dont hate you, but do people ever think about the other person? No.

[HopeDiesLast]

There is nothing this guy has to say thats going to make you feel any better unless he really wants to reconcile things. If thats the case, he'll definitely let you know, and you can decide how to proceed.[/quote]

 

aint that the truth.

[0hpenelope]

I asked him to delete himself from my Facebook. He hasn't yet. I'm wondering how long I should give him before I do it myself. I don't want to make it easy for him to be a voyeur into my life.

 

Come oooon, audrey. You know you want to hit that "Delete Friend" link... I will be the little devil on your shoulder whispering in your ear to just do it already.

 

I maintain a blog. I don't know if Lawrence still visits it or he hasn't, but it doesn't matter. I don't care if he reads it. But if he still does, he'll see that I have not been frumpy just because we're not friends anymore.

 

He walked away from me and he should stay gone! I'm holding up my end of the bargain here. He walked out of my life, well... I'll be gone from his too! And real friendship is never a Band-Aid for anything. Most exes bring up the friendship option to cleanse themselves from what they had to do for themselves. Well... I say to them, guilt comes with the job description for dumpers! Deal with it!

[tealeafbud]

my ex has not contacted me and I'm glad.

[nickelinadime]

My ex contacts me almost every single day. I stay strong.. most of the time.

[kizik]

Hey all,

 

just thought I'd say hi and say that my ex has not contacted me, and I am glad for it. It's allowed me to move on. I'm a completely different person now. And I like that. I want to thank her (!) but I won't.

[ahhhchooo]

My ex has contacted me a few times but I'm quickly learning it's entirely selfish reasons, like she needs her ego feeding. Her actions following her words just don't match, it's like she needs to know there's someone in the world that wants/needs her, since her jerk off boyfriend/fetus-daddy surely doesn't. Generally the only time she'll even speak to me is if she initiates the contact, in which case it's always something I didn't want to hear anyway.

 

I'm not giving into letting her hear anything she wants to anymore, and going NC regardless of what she sends.

[orangehose]

My ex never contacted me, and I've generally stopped wondering, caring, or expecting that he will. I now fully accept that most likely I'll never hear from him again. And actually, that's just fine by me.

 

Time really does help heal the wounds.

[kizik]

What's up old friend, O.H.? I'm glad that you are feeling better about things (though you never seemed too messed up to me - but I'm sure you were).

 

You never know people's reasons for leaving, really. All you can do is know that it's their loss, and your gain - you don't have to deal with such a difficult person anymore. Time does help, as you say - but I think about her every day.

 

I just got a good new job, and I know she'd be proud of me. But she chose to be gone, and my accomplishments are somehow more liberating just knowing that SHE doesn't know about them.

 

I'm off to college this weekend too, and I know that others will appreciate me in a way that she stopped doing over a year ago.

[orangehose]

What's up old friend, O.H.? I'm glad that you are feeling better about things (though you never seemed too messed up to me - but I'm sure you were).

 

You never know people's reasons for leaving, really. All you can do is know that it's their loss, and your gain - you don't have to deal with such a difficult person anymore. Time does help, as you say - but I think about her every day.

 

I just got a good new job, and I know she'd be proud of me. But she chose to be gone, and my accomplishments are somehow more liberating just knowing that SHE doesn't know about them.

 

I'm off to college this weekend too, and I know that others will appreciate me in a way that she stopped doing over a year ago.

 

GREAT to see you paying a visit to the ol' LS, Kizik! I figured you were too busy enjoying the well-deserved attentions of some nice college girls to come around here anymore

 

But not till next week, eh? We have you for a few more days... Anyway, congrats too on what sounds like an awesome new job! You're right, it's liberating to achieve things or even just create sources of happiness outside the relationship. I've also gotten back to doing a lot of the things that are meaningful to me and it's helped re-establish a self-identity outside the relationship.

 

Like you, I still think of my ex daily (really, more than daily), though the thoughts have generally lost a lot of their emotional import. It's still tough having to run into him, though (I envy your long-distance breakup). Most of my remaining healing will probably focus on cutting down my mind's excessive chatter about him, now that I don't feel emotionally compelled to analyze.

 

Anyway, have an awesome time at college! I'm sure you'll soon be running into plenty of women (and other people, for that matter) who'll be better able to appreciate you for who you are.

[kizik]

GREAT to see you paying a visit to the ol' LS, Kizik!

 

You too, babe.

 

I figured you were too busy enjoying the well-deserved attentions of some nice college girls to come around here anymore

 

Ha, I wish. We shall see what happens.

 

congrats too on what sounds like an awesome new job!

 

Thanks a bunch, doll. It's in a law office; even though I'm just a gopher (or "b*tch", as I like to call it), I get to dress up for work, and they're paying me a decent wage.

 

I've also gotten back to doing a lot of the things that are meaningful to me and it's helped re-establish a self-identity outside the relationship.

 

What kinds of things? You should PM me (I would like that, plus that way this thread won't get flagged b/c of "personal use").

 

Like you, I still think of my ex daily, though the thoughts have generally lost a lot of their emotional import.

 

REALLY well-said. I think of her, but it doesn't hurt anymore. You know? Mostly I just kind of laugh at her behavior, in a...sad, sardonic sort of way.

 

I envy your long-distance breakup.

 

Well, she and I actually live in the same town now. We were in different cities for a couple months after the breakup, but now she's back in town... whatever. I'm not gonna run into her, I don't think, but I've changed so much that it won't matter if I do.

 

have an awesome time at college! I'm sure you'll soon be running into plenty of women (and other people, for that matter) who'll be better able to appreciate you for who you are.

 

Thanks so much my friend. Your encouragement has been invaluable. I will find a girl like you, and you'll find a dude like me. And we'll both deserve it.

 

Josh

 

PS. I like this, for my 1,100th post. And it's dedicated to the orangehose.

[HopeDiesLast]

Sometimes i just wish he'd call so i could make him work to win me back. let him chase me a little. hes not even trying. he sucks at life.

[Ingenue]

My ex hasn't contacted me. After the breakup series of emails, he wrote me to offer a phone call, but I didn't bother responding. He then sent me a birthday email to which I also didn't respond. My only response has been to tell him I'm taking time for myself and going on NC. He hasn't contacted me since telling me he appreciated my NC notification and I don't expect him to contact me.

 

In some ways, the ex not contacting you is a blessing in disguise. It allows us to move on and get over them without them always being there.

[nopainnogain]

 

In some ways, the ex not contacting you is a blessing in disguise. It allows us to move on and get over them without them always being there.

 

 

This mentallity does help me big time. But in reality its just justifying the fact the we shoulda dumped thee a$$es while we had the upper hand.

 

but then again, we loved them . Does that make us a bad person:confused:

 

heck no.

[HopeDiesLast]

What a tool my ex is. his loss for not trying to call me. seriously.....total idiot. i was a great gf....if i do say so myself

[HopeDiesLast]

nopain- nope doesnt make us a bad person. makes us a trusting person. that we took a chance on love. life happens...we get burned. not our fault the ex's suck.

[LikeCharlotte]

Still nothing over here. Not even a smoke signal. Not that I am looking. Also, Hi Kiz. Glad to hear about the new job!

[BackonTrack]

No word from ex in almost 7 months.

I gave up on haring from her about a month ago.

 

she cheated on me then somehow managed to turn the breakup around on me n didn't come back + blamed me for everything.

[ahhhchooo]

I asked him to delete himself from my Facebook. He hasn't yet. I'm wondering how long I should give him before I do it myself. I don't want to make it easy for him to be a voyeur into my life.

I came home trashed and removed my ex from every place she could contact me from. I don't regret it. Just do it

[Red_Apple]

Every day I read these posts...

 

"He called me! What should I do?"

"She keeps texting me, I can't get rid of her."

"He wants to make it work, but I'm not sure..."

 

And I get really pissed off and jealous. Why? B/c it goes to show that your exes still care.

 

It would make me feel human, not some disposal boy-toy that's worth nothing once it's over. I'd like to think she doesn't contact out of respect for what I'm going through... but the more likely reason is that she does not care about me, has no remorse for how she verbally abused me, feels justified in her actions and thinks "I just wasn't right" or "good enough" for her.

 

I don't necessarily agree that the exes still care. They could, but the chances are very low. It's more likely that they are bored and selfish. They want their immediate whims gratified (if only for a brief time before they dispose of you again).

 

Well, my ex hasn't contacted me. It bothers me, but not for the same reason as you. I don't feel that I'm not good enough or that I wasn't right. I just believe that we're not right for each other, and we both know that, that's why he hasn't made contact. And that's fine by me, even though it hurts.

[ioncebelieved]

I'm stupid, I contacted mine after almost 3 months NC!

[pleasebelieveme]

No contact whatsoever from my ex-girlfriend for 15 long months now. I've broken NC about a half dozen times by email only since then, trying to keep the lines open as friends, but she refuses to respond in any way.

 

I know through a mutual friend that she's been completely single and alone since she broke up with me 18 months ago. Hmm. Not that I'm begging to be back together with her. I guess I just feel, given this context, like she must not think that much of me at all if she refuses to contact me at all. So sad.

 

 

-PBM