I have jealous dreams and mental images about my girlfriends sexual past

[Roberto]

Hey everyone, I'm new here and i figure this would be the place to post questions like this, so here it goes. Oh, and the reason I put in ALL of the details is because I think it is relevant to the problem. What a better way to cure my problems than by telling total strangers about my deep and intimate relationship!!!!

 

Be warned, this is a long post because I think ALL the mentioned elements have to do with figuring out the cure to my problem.

 

 

Here is my problem. I'm jealous and get mental images of my soon-to-be fiance giving oral sex to another guy, and dreams about her breaking up with me because she found someone else. Now that you're interested, please HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

My girlfriend and I have been together about 14 months now. We had dated summer of freshman year in high school but broke up after about 3 months. It was a very loving and caring relationship, but really fast moving. I broke up with her because I thought we were moving too fast. I never really fell out of love with her, and I constantly thought about her. She tells me the same thing and that she always wanted to get back together. We would always talk to each other uncomfortably because she thought I hated her and I thought she hated me. In reality I know i was dying to talk to her again, but I kind of wanted to get back at her for calling me names and constantly annoying me as if she were getting back at me for breaking up with her after i told her i loved her. She was getting back at me by just generally being mean to me. I also did the same because I thought she hated me. I just tried to ignore her and give her the cold shoulder. Well at the end of May, junior year she told me she was moving to Minnesota to finish high school and I knew I HAD to tell her how i felt. When I told her, she told me the exact same thing and we agreed to get back together. We both finally admitted we still loved one another and never wanted to be apart again.

 

 

Of course this was a long distance relationship (she was about 1000 miles away). We decided we still loved each other so we planned to be together in college, when she would come back. Even though it was a long distance relationship, we have always been very close and loving. She came down for Christmas, and I went up for spring break, she came down for prom, and two weeks in the summer.

 

 

During the time that we thought we hated each other(between freshman and junior year), I ONLY had ONE sexual encounter (just putting my hand down the crotch of another girl), but I later learned she had given oral sex to one of her guy friends sophomore or junior year (but she says it was only for a minute because she didn't like it). She told me she didn't like it and it didn't mean anything because she was just trying to have what she had with ME. She said they were just friends and it just "happened". She said she forgot it because she didn't like it. She told me this about 8 months ago, but I didn't really think much of it--but then again our relationship was not nearly as intimate or close as it is now. By the way, we are currently planning on getting engaged in September and married by the time we graduate from college.

 

 

And also some possible relevant important information:

we were both virgins when we finally had sex this (senior) year during spring break (when we see each other now, we constantly have sex). I was also her first kiss and french kiss and the first guy to "eat her out". She was the first to give me oral sex, too. We had SO MANY firsts together, maybe that's why I feel so jealous!! At the time of spring break and until very recently, I WAS aware that she gave oral sex to another guy, but apparently I didn't think much of it. Now of course, as we plan the rest of our lives together, I have to think harder and just start to get so jealous about what happened, it makes me physically and mentally sick.

 

 

Anyway, the other night I was asking if she had had any other sexual encounters. She said NO. Then I remembered she said she gave oral sex to another guy. I became very upset and oh so DEEPLY SADDENED because she "lied" to me. She said she "forgot" about it because "It wasn't good. It didn't mean anything. We were just friends. It just happened." Also, every time I hear her talk about her old boyfriends or if she just even mentions them, I get very, very, jealous. Just the thought of it (even as I type this right now!!!!) I get to feeling SICK from my stomach and my chest tightens up and I can almost not breathe. I get an overwhelming feeling of ENFEEBLEMENT and WEAKNESS, and if somehow SHE has been ruined. I just cant stand the thought of her sweet, innocent, loving self doing that with another guy! I feel like she has cheated on me somehow! (even though it was when we were not together).

 

 

I actually get mental images of he giving oral sex to her "friend". Whats even worse, is that I've talked to this guy unknowingly and casually!!!!! I also have bad dreams about her getting together with some other guy in college and leaving me. I know I also had a milder sexual encounter, and I'm being hypocritical. I just dint know why I feel this way then!!!

 

 

I know this was in the past and I just want to get rid of this overwhelming and crippling feeling of jealousy.

 

She just says its in the past and that my encounter was in the past too. She doesn't seem to mind. I just don't know what to think. I have been trying ever since this whole thing happened to figure out why I feel this way. I'm just SO CONFUSED and sad. Please somebody help me!! I dint ever want to lose her. Everyday we fight because I get frustrated and sick feeling with her on the phone. She says she gets frustrated because she doesn't know what to say or do or how to make it better.

 

 

She is arriving to stay with me now FOREVER at my place TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!. I just want the mental images and dreams and jealousy to stop so we can live the rest of our lives peacefully!!!!!!

 

 

PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!

[jalexy]

i am wondering why you want to get married at such a young age?

i think that her past is her past, whatever it may be. as long as she hasnt cheated on you or anyone, you shoul dbe ok.