Women Can Be Strange...

[ate_the_paint]

Maybe I'm looking at things wrong because I just started dating 4 months after a breakup. I'm not looking for rebounds or anything...just some distractions. So help me to decipher this one:

 

I've been on a few dates.

 

This one woman from work always had my eye. We've been flirting for months. Went on a few dates. Lots of conversation and we get along really well. Fun stuff (the chase and all that). She started texting and emailing lots, which I like because I like her.

 

One night we get drunk and fool around. Days later she comes over, we hang out chatting and fool around again. After that she invites me out, is kinda withdrawn so I ask if she is okay with everything and she says she's happy with how it's going.

 

After that we go on a date, talk lots, and end up back at my place where things get very physical....

 

Kinda spooked me a bit, but the next day she comes over and the same thing happens and I'm not as spooked...

 

Then she disappears for a few days but keeps texting and emailing, so I back off. When we get together we talk and she says it was too fast and she freaked and just wants to "hang out". I tell her that I'm okay with that and that I like her and like hanging out with her. To me that means she has put us back in the "friend zone".

 

But as we were saying goodbye she was leaning in for a kiss. However, because she just wants to "hang out" I gave her a hug instead and went my own way. The next day she is texting and is flirty and sitting real close and gazing into my eyes but I'm still not making a move. Hanging out, right?

 

I want to make a move but I'm not going to if she just wants to be friends. We've already been lovers (a bit fast, definitely).

 

So, what's the deal? Does she mean to go back to dating or just be friends? Can I kiss her still?

 

And why won't women communicate what they want with men?

[carhill]

Try something novel. Do what you want. If you want to kiss her, do that. Have sex with her? Approach her sexually. If her actions say no, you have an answer.

 

Flip-flopping from lovers to friends and back again rarely works well unless you love emotional roller-coasters. Perhaps the sexual part came too quickly, but there still should be a continuity of romantic desire and expression.

 

Personally, I would have kissed her, mainly to show my continuity of intent. A man needs to be consistent, even if he's wrong

[audrey_1]

Maybe I'm looking at things wrong because I just started dating 4 months after a breakup. I'm not looking for rebounds or anything...just some distractions. So help me to decipher this one:

 

I've been on a few dates.

 

This one woman from work always had my eye. We've been flirting for months. Went on a few dates. Lots of conversation and we get along really well. Fun stuff (the chase and all that). She started texting and emailing lots, which I like because I like her.

 

One night we get drunk and fool around. Days later she comes over, we hang out chatting and fool around again. After that she invites me out, is kinda withdrawn so I ask if she is okay with everything and she says she's happy with how it's going.

 

After that we go on a date, talk lots, and end up back at my place where things get very physical....

 

Kinda spooked me a bit, but the next day she comes over and the same thing happens and I'm not as spooked...

 

Then she disappears for a few days but keeps texting and emailing, so I back off. When we get together we talk and she says it was too fast and she freaked and just wants to "hang out". I tell her that I'm okay with that and that I like her and like hanging out with her. To me that means she has put us back in the "friend zone".

 

But as we were saying goodbye she was leaning in for a kiss. However, because she just wants to "hang out" I gave her a hug instead and went my own way. The next day she is texting and is flirty and sitting real close and gazing into my eyes but I'm still not making a move. Hanging out, right?

 

I want to make a move but I'm not going to if she just wants to be friends. We've already been lovers (a bit fast, definitely).

 

So, what's the deal? Does she mean to go back to dating or just be friends? Can I kiss her still?

 

And why won't women communicate what they want with men?

 

Wow. This is my situation in reverse. I spent all last weekend with him, going to fireworks, playing tennis, watching movies, dining, and in his bed. No affection at all...until I'm leaving. I walked to my car nonchalantly, get inside, and he leans in and puckers up, like your woman. I just looked at him, a bit surprised, and then he licked my face and kissed me awkwardly.

 

This after we have had passionate monkey sex for the past year. Ours was definitely fast...the first night fast, but it couldn't be helped.

 

He keeps repeating he isn't looking for a serious relationship, so I told him that I just broke my engagement a year ago, I need to figure things out before I have another one also. But that I trust him, which is why I've slept with him. But I keep in mind our interaction may be temporary. That I can compartmentalize like men if I need to.

 

So about the hanging out, taking it slow. Maybe it's because they want their freedom, or maybe it's because they want to minimize chances of crashing and burning before things have a chance to develop naturally. That is, if it's to develop at all. Maybe they're just not really that in to us. I guess only time would tell.

[monkey00]

Don't send this woman mixed messages. Keep it consistent like the others said. Go in for the kiss if you're really interested in the girl. Avoiding kisses with her when she wants to kiss you is sending her mixed signals...if she had low interest level she wouldn't tolerate it. Lucky for you she seems very interested.

 

I think she just wants to take things slow because she doesn't want to get hurt or feel used...and she might even be looking for something long-term even, but don't let that spook you out.