AnLandy Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 I am the youngest of three syblings. My older brother and sister are both married and have kids. I'm single and childfree. My sister gave birth to her first child five months ago. Since his arrival, my parents have made the 900 mile trip three times to see him. They will be going there again at Thanksgiving to see him. My brother lives 40 minutes from my parents, so they get to see him and his three kids all the time, usually 2-3 times a week. My parents came to see me (1,200 mile trip) last Christmas, but mainly to meet my then fiance and attend an extended family reunion. My fiance and I recently broke up, so my plans for Christmas and Thanksgiving have pretty much fallen through. When I suggested to my mother that she and my dad come here for Thanksgiving, she asked, "Why would we want to do that?". When I suggested that I fly to see them for Christmas, she said, "Do you really want to spend the money?" In the past three years, my parents have come to visit me once. In the past two years, they have been so see my sister 9 times. I'm starting to see a pattern here. Given my recent breakup, I would really like some time with my family. When I expressed this, my mother was totally oblivious and told me that I would be "fine", but that her new grandbaby was changing so much from week to week that she wanted to see him as much as possible. Are their any other childfree syblings out there who have noticed that their place in the family really started to shift once the grandbabies showed up? Link to post Share on other sites
ThumbingMyWay Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 Are their any other childfree syblings out there who have noticed that their place in the family really started to shift once the grandbabies showed up? no, but mine is reverse. My kids are the 6th and 7th grandkids. The first few got lots of Gramma time. Mine get very little now. The novelty wore off I think??? As for my parents and when they come to visit...lets just say this.. There has been many family gatherings this spring and summer Kids bday Fathers day party Aunts Wed aniversary HS Grad party my parents came to none of them citing gas prices and what not (they only live 3 hours away). I asked my mom if should come down this past June so my wife and I could go to one of her family cousins wedding with out kids so we coudl have a weekend alone. Mom declined How ever, I found out my mom is coming down in August to stay at my sisters house one town away from us. Not coming to visit, but she is coming to "watch thier dogs"??? Quite frustrated.....they decline family gatherings, but will come down to watch dogs??? I am going to try something this time. When she is down, I am going to see if she will take our kids out to my sisters for a night. Not only for her to see them and spend time with them, but for my wife ad I to have a night out. If she declines, I just might have to say something in regards to all the things she passes up that are meaningful, but she has no problems coming down to watch pets. I dont get it. I love my parents to death, they are great people dont get me wrong. I just dont understand there choices wen it comes to things like this. I know one thing, I know what kind of grand parent I will be Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 I noticed this when I was younger when my older sisters started having kids. There were other issues with my family and me, though. In any event, now I am about to give birth to the 7th grandchild. Although there is some interest, it's not as intense as it was for the first few grandkids. And to be honest, my mom is very obviously interested in my son moreso than in me. I'm old news. Link to post Share on other sites
sunshinegirl Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 Yes - I'm the youngest of 3; my sisters are both married with 3 and 2 kids, respectively. I definitely am on the short end of the stick attention-wise. Mom and Dad make plans with and visit my sisters with the kids much more deliberately than me. The saving grace is that I live in the same city as one sister - but it's never any mystery that they are coming to see the grandkids. Then again, it's a two-way street - I don't visit home more than once a year, though they would certainly welcome me if I did. (I'm really shocked that your parents would discourage you from visiting at Christmastime!!). Link to post Share on other sites
georgejungle Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 Yeah i've sorta experienced this...My Mom will call my younger sister & my niece all the time and fly out to see her and all that, but hasn't been to my house in almost 2 years, even though she lives 2 hours away from me. I'll always go to her house, but she NEVER comes up here to see me and my wife. BUT, she'll drive an hour and a half to go see my grandmother for the day, but she can't drive an extra half hour to see me. I'm a good son too, not sure what the deal is...Moms are weird. Parents are weird. Link to post Share on other sites
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