Trialbyfire Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 Nooooo! Are you sure about that? I mean any minute now I'll probably be posting about my H screwing his secretary! Uhm...wait, that's me!:laugh: Too funny!! Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 Too funny!! I can't really take the credit though. I stole that joke from Art from another thread. Link to post Share on other sites
mental_traveller Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 I've heard this on here a few times, where someone will make a blanket statement that "She's the cheater type". I was wondering, what is that type? Not who they are after they've cheated on someone, but the characteristics of a person before they cheat? What are the personality traits, characteristics, emotional makeup of "the cheater type"? Could you pick them out at a young age (teens), and say "That person is the cheater type" based on certain personality traits? And what would those be? Would you be in favor of testing people for traits that are prone to cheaters? What if there was a genetic test that would prove this, would you want your partner tested? Someone who doesn't have a strong sense of morality. Not the in traditional sense, but someone who just doesn't really empathise with other people, or consider how something might affect another. Life revolves around them, not others. Someone who has such a strong interest in sex/attention/being "in love" that it overrides any moral qualms they might have. Someone who is a major flirt. Someone with an unstable personal life. Someone with a history of cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
mental_traveller Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 Weird, I took the guy test and the girl test and we scored exactly the same (49)...but I have cheated on partners in the past and in fact cheated on my current S/O early in our relationship, but he hasn't ever cheated on any previous partners nor has he cheated on me! So he says! Link to post Share on other sites
mental_traveller Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 Exactly.. MOST men are weak.. That's because most men aren't getting any from their wives! I challenge you to seduce a married man who is swinging from the chandeliers every night Link to post Share on other sites
Virgo1982 Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 That's because most men aren't getting any from their wives! I challenge you to seduce a married man who is swinging from the chandeliers every night I remember a time-a few months ago-when MM were starting threads about a lack of sex left and right. I believe women/men who refuse to have sex with their spouse should be treated as an OW/OM by society. Could you imagine? Link to post Share on other sites
Lookingforward Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 I don't 'assume' they can't stick to their moral beliefs. What I do know is that people who have not been faced with a true test of that belief can't be positive of the outcome until they are faced with it. I know far too many people who have sworn never and broken it. The man who swore he'd never drink and 1 year later was downing beer like it was water. The man who swore that he'd never cheat but fondled another girl while his wife was away. The boss who swears he'll promote you when the spot opens up then tells you he isn't going to. The girl who swore she'd Never have sex before marriage and then oops... she decided she would. I have no belief in people. So swearing Never means absolutely jack shyt to me. When I see it, I'll believe it. Until then, those that make statements without the experience to back it up are all talk and nothing more. I'll let the facts speak for themselves, the words mean nothing. If you have the experience/history that says you would never do x, then I believe it. Only on your death bed can you TRULY say "I never............" Link to post Share on other sites
Virgo1982 Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 Oh no LF, I will never die because I haven't died yet. In your face! Link to post Share on other sites
Lookingforward Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 Oh no LF, I will never die because I haven't died yet. In your face! That made no sense at all, but hey if you'd rather not address the post....and fwiw, no need to be rude Link to post Share on other sites
GPFan Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 I am not sure it is possible generalise a cheater type to the average person. However I do know there are personality disorders for which frequent affairs are a symptom. Everyone would do well to educate themselves and avoid getting involved with those suffering from any severe mental illness or untreated personality disorder. Yeah sure... I'm certain that right at this moment, someone on LS..would swear that their partner has never/will never or is not cheating.. but guess what.. we'll read in a few weeks/months that they are/were... I am sure your cynicism is well earned as a professional in this field but I do not believe it serves well as the basis for sincerely sought advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 Selfishness An entitlement mentality No sense of accountability For female cheaters having feminist views means they are more likely to cheat. A sense of never being happy no matter how good you have it. Link to post Share on other sites
Virgo1982 Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 That made no sense at all, but hey if you'd rather not address the post....and fwiw, no need to be rude It doesn't make sense, but that is the argument. I was joking with you btw. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Walk Posted July 17, 2008 Author Share Posted July 17, 2008 Oh no LF, I will never die because I haven't died yet. In your face! "Certainty? In this world nothing is certain but death and taxes." Benjamin Franklin Link to post Share on other sites
grogster Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 The numero uno sign of a "potential cheater": A Sex Drive. Link to post Share on other sites
imbewildered Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 I just found an interesting website on cheating. It even gives a quiz at the bottom which "tests" how likely your partner is to cheat by answering questions about you (the test is compared to others who have cheated). I'm in the middle of taking it now, its fun! http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/quizzes/public/cheating_risk_accessment_for_women.html I took the test twice. Once for me, and a second time in behalf of my recently dumped G.friend. The results were 47% risk of me cheating and 67% chance of her cheating. Curiously, the reason that I dumped her was that I found out that she was seeing two other guy "friends" while she was all "gaga" in a sexual relationship with me for a year. Guy, take this test in behalf of that sweet. lovely, innocent princess sleeping beside you. Link to post Share on other sites
angie2443 Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 The numero uno sign of a "potential cheater": A Sex Drive. We all have sex drives. We don't all cheat. Many of us who don't are perfectly satisfied with what we have. One of the major signs of a person who will cheat, is a person who thinks that everyone has it in them to cheat. In otherwords, a person like you. I feel bad for any woman who crosses your path and is ignorant enough to develop feelings for you. Link to post Share on other sites
grogster Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 We all have sex drives. We don't all cheat. Many of us who don't are perfectly satisfied with what we have. One of the major signs of a person who will cheat, is a person who thinks that everyone has it in them to cheat. In otherwords, a person like you. I feel bad for any woman who crosses your path and is ignorant enough to develop feelings for you. Angie, tell me how you really feel. If you're unable to separate the argument from the poster, and take all posts on a deeply personal level, perhaps you should find another hobby. My argument is simple: there are no absolute signs of a potential cheater. Cheating is hard wired into humans, and is more a function of situation than character. I'm not saying everyone cheats or would cheat.What I'm saying is that there's no inevitability as to cheating or not cheating. Human beings are not rigidly determined. We are complex creatures. Thus to suggest that an Internet quiz can identify potential cheaters is absurd. My argument is intellectual, and not intended to give anyone a "license" to cheat. I won't stop thinking and expressing myself on this topic because of your (or others) rigidity and obvious insecurities. It's not always personal. Link to post Share on other sites
Virgo1982 Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 "Certainty? In this world nothing is certain but death and taxes." Benjamin Franklin Thank you! Link to post Share on other sites
Virgo1982 Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 We all have sex drives. We don't all cheat. Many of us who don't are perfectly satisfied with what we have. One of the major signs of a person who will cheat, is a person who thinks that everyone has it in them to cheat. In otherwords, a person like you. I feel bad for any woman who crosses your path and is ignorant enough to develop feelings for you. That's pretty harsh. I think it's the difference between being an optimist, a pessimist, and a realist. We're not saying everyone will cheat. We're just saying it wouldn't be the shock of the century. I know I would be hurt, but I wouldn't think, "It could never happen to me." Link to post Share on other sites
angie2443 Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 That's pretty harsh. I think it's the difference between being an optimist, a pessimist, and a realist. We're not saying everyone will cheat. We're just saying it wouldn't be the shock of the century. I know I would be hurt, but I wouldn't think, "It could never happen to me." People who cheat, or have in it to cheat will say it can happen to anyone (meaning anyone can loose control and cheat). Just look at the posters who say "anyone in the right situation can cheat". This is dead wrong. Some people respect their partners and their relationships way to much to cheat. Here's another shocking fact, many of these people who respect their relationships have high sex drives and have are not misserable repressed people, unlike some posters on these boards would have you believe. Link to post Share on other sites
makinitwork Posted July 20, 2008 Share Posted July 20, 2008 I've heard this on here a few times, where someone will make a blanket statement that "She's the cheater type". I was wondering, what is that type? Not who they are after they've cheated on someone, but the characteristics of a person before they cheat? What are the personality traits, characteristics, emotional makeup of "the cheater type"? Could you pick them out at a young age (teens), and say "That person is the cheater type" based on certain personality traits? And what would those be? Would you be in favor of testing people for traits that are prone to cheaters? What if there was a genetic test that would prove this, would you want your partner tested? maiknitwork> i thought i knew him after 20 years well perhaps i should change my screen name the biggest clue was his losing weight dressing nice I mean lookin real good then the incoming cell phone calls then she came to me to confess their feelings. he admitted it. now a year later he says he wants to get back together withe me but is showing me otherwise he's still cheating wish i can let go! Link to post Share on other sites
allanDR Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 The line that really stood out: "I know I'm not good enough for you" or "I'm afraid I can't give you what you deserve." If I ever hear that from a girl again I'm ending it immediately. All it means is that they will be unable to not act on their impulses in the future. Link to post Share on other sites
verve Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 The line that really stood out: "I know I'm not good enough for you" or "I'm afraid I can't give you what you deserve." If I ever hear that from a girl again I'm ending it immediately. All it means is that they will be unable to not act on their impulses in the future. Care to elaborate? Are you saying if a girl says either of them two phrases its an indicator she will cheat? Link to post Share on other sites
allanDR Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 It was for me. Ever since the beginning she told me stuff like this. I'm not sure, but I take it as she always knew in her head that given the right circumstances she would cheat on me, and she did. And I honestly don't think it had anything to do with me. She loved me and everything was great, she was just at a point in her life where she either couldn't or wouldn't be faithful. Even until the very end just days before I found out, she kept telling me how she wasn't good enough for me. She described it somewhat as, loving me so much that it terrified her. being too young to be completely in love with someone and knowing that she didn't want to ever leave me and cheating on me to make sure all these feelings were real. Something like that. The worst part is, I can understand what she's saying, which makes it all the more depressing. It's all crazy and insanely complicated. Link to post Share on other sites
verve Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 It was for me. Ever since the beginning she told me stuff like this. I'm not sure, but I take it as she always knew in her head that given the right circumstances she would cheat on me, and she did. I asked you to expand on what you had said because my girlfriend who I split with a few weeks ago used to say exactly the same sorta things, infact exactly the same with the two examples you gave. I honestly don't think it had anything to do with me. She loved me and everything was great, she was just at a point in her life where she either couldn't or wouldn't be faithful.This is spookily like how my ex was. I know she loved me although for some reason she cheated, not just once but several times. She had clinical depression so it could have been something to do with that, although this sort of thought process is so illogical to me, I've tried to look at it form different angles to see what made her to it but I'm still at a loss. Even until the very end just days before I found out, she kept telling me how she wasn't good enough for me.My ex used to say stuff like that all the time as well as lie and cover things up. She described it somewhat as, loving me so much that it terrified her. being too young to be completely in love with someone and knowing that she didn't want to ever leave meScary, my ex text me something very similar to that once. Saying how she loved me so much and was scared of ever losing me. and cheating on me to make sure all these feelings were real.I never got an explanation and thus closure from my ex so I never got her reason why she did it. Although going on what you've said I'm sure it would have been something like that. Although I wouldn't have bought it, I know there were more selfish motives behind it, as there always are with cheating because its a selfish act. The worst part is, I can understand what she's saying, which makes it all the more depressing. It's all crazy and insanely complicated. Although I think its immoral, wrong and in no way excusable, I get what you mean. But it isn't right and its just an excuse they're using. You want to believe thats true although its not, because if they did love you they wouldn't cheat. Link to post Share on other sites
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