My cheating ex called me and emailed today.

[foxh1234]

Fox, do you find that the contact itself puts you in a different mental space? A regaining of power, a restoration of your ego, anything like that?

 

I would love to hear from my ex just for the above reasons - at this point, not to take him back. But he's probably too prideful to ever knock on my door if/when things with the hooch go to hell.

 

Hi Sun, I don't think of it as power or ego. I just feel like she is getting some of what she gave me. By me not responding, she might think back to when she never responded to me months ago, and know how it feels. I really feel satisfaction and pride at my inner strength. I have grown in the last 4 months into a better man. I have learned so much from all of you on this site and I will go into my next relationship with a clean slate and a new understanding on what I want and expect from a lover and mate. I am not bitter at all, I really am starting to feel thankful for getting out when I did. What if we had bought a house or got married and had kids. Things could have been alot worse and I am glad she is out of my life. Will I think of her and miss what we had during the good times, of course, but she is not the same person now that I feel in love with then. All bets are off and I am good with that.

[foxh1234]

She emailed me again late last night and said that she was so sorry for hurting me and that she never meant to sleep with the other 2 guys ( yeah right) She says she needs me in her life and is not complete. ( apparently her live in BF is not enough for her ) She also tried the guilt trip about how we had 8 years together and she never stopped loving me ( bulls**t) and wants me to be her best friend again. ( not gonna happen ) She also said that she sees a future for us but it will take time and alot of work on both our parts. ( all of this crap while she is living with another guy )

 

 

I cannot believe how screwed up this chick is. I still think she is just trying to keep me on the hook and I say here now, IT WON'T WORK BABY!!! I have deleted this email and I will not respond. I am not going to block her because I don't want her to think these things bother me. I would rather her think I get them, read them and choose not to reply. I suspect she will keep this up for a couple of weeks and then give up. This is my hope anyway. Thanks again to everyone here on LS for helping me see this woman for who she is and giving me the strength to do this.

[northstar1]

She emailed me again late last night and said that she was so sorry for hurting me and that she never meant to sleep with the other 2 guys ( yeah right) She says she needs me in her life and is not complete. ( apparently her live in BF is not enough for her ) She also tried the guilt trip about how we had 8 years together and she never stopped loving me ( bulls**t) and wants me to be her best friend again. ( not gonna happen ) She also said that she sees a future for us but it will take time and alot of work on both our parts. ( all of this crap while she is living with another guy )

 

 

I cannot believe how screwed up this chick is. I still think she is just trying to keep me on the hook and I say here now, IT WON'T WORK BABY!!! I have deleted this email and I will not respond. I am not going to block her because I don't want her to think these things bother me. I would rather her think I get them, read them and choose not to reply. I suspect she will keep this up for a couple of weeks and then give up. This is my hope anyway. Thanks again to everyone here on LS for helping me see this woman for who she is and giving me the strength to do this.

 

What a piece of work that one is.

Good for keeping it up.

[Trialbyfire]

I believe the term is "cake-eater". She's a very selfish individual. I don't think she thinks about anyone else beyond her own needs.

 

Wow, talk about a near-miss for a life full of misery! Someone was looking out for you fox!

[Chinook]

I cannot believe how screwed up this chick is. I still think she is just trying to keep me on the hook and I say here now, IT WON'T WORK BABY!!! I have deleted this email and I will not respond. I am not going to block her because I don't want her to think these things bother me. I would rather her think I get them, read them and choose not to reply. I suspect she will keep this up for a couple of weeks and then give up. This is my hope anyway. Thanks again to everyone here on LS for helping me see this woman for who she is and giving me the strength to do this.

I thought with most email programs, the sender doesn't get to know that you blocked them...?! If I were you, yea... I'd block her. Either way, it doesn't matter - she's not getting the response she wants.

 

The only thing I would say is be careful, sometimes people can do screwy things when they don't get what they want. I ended a relationship a couple years ago now and the guy began turning up at work and at home because I didn't answer my phone or emails. That was a little bit scary.

[foxh1234]

I thought with most email programs, the sender doesn't get to know that you blocked them...?! If I were you, yea... I'd block her. Either way, it doesn't matter - she's not getting the response she wants.

 

The only thing I would say is be careful, sometimes people can do screwy things when they don't get what they want. I ended a relationship a couple years ago now and the guy began turning up at work and at home because I didn't answer my phone or emails. That was a little bit scary.

 

Hi, I don't know about blocking either. I have never blocked anyone. I think she will stop with the emails when she knows I won't respond. She has a few issues for sure, but I am not worried about her stalking me or anything like that. Bottom line is she dumped me, has another live in BF and I just want to put her behind me for good. I think this is a classic case of the grass is not always greener. I am really proud of myself for not replying, I never knew I could be this strong.

[foxh1234]

I believe the term is "cake-eater". She's a very selfish individual. I don't think she thinks about anyone else beyond her own needs.

 

Wow, talk about a near-miss for a life full of misery! Someone was looking out for you fox!

 

I agree TBF, people can change so quick. To be honest, I actually feel a little bad for her. She had a screwed up childhood and has made alot of bad choices in her life. This is just another bad choice that she will have to come to terms with. She has cheated on every man she has ever been with, I should have known better I guess.

[Nevermind]

Oh, I remember that phase. Unlucky for me, I did respond at that time. Only to have it thrown back to me as weakness, and an unability to get over things. *shrug*

 

Kudos to you for not giving in! It's not worth it. You rock, fox!

[serendip]

Hey Fox,

 

I think you and I are going through similar situations.

 

Both of our ex's cheated on us.

 

Both of us are doing NC to heal(3 mths NC for me)

 

Both of our ex's are in relationships yet they are contacting us...meaning they haven't learnt anything in regards to their infidelity issues. I mean how would their boyfriends feel if they knew their girlfriends were contacting us telling us how much they miss us.

 

Mine went so far as to reply to an email I sent 3 mths ago...her excuse was that she didn't know whether she replied at the time or not. I would believe her if she didn't have a gmail account(gmail records all replies...so she already knew she never replied). She was just looking for an excuse to contact me b/c I ignored her lame text last time she tried contacting me. This kind of makes her look more pathetic in my eyes.

 

Whatever the case maybe for contact...our ex's cheating and their actions after the break up speak volumes of who they are....so there is no point for a response from us.

 

They don't deserve our acknowledgement b/c we didn't deserve to be cheated on again and again.

[foxh1234]

Oh, I remember that phase. Unlucky for me, I did respond at that time. Only to have it thrown back to me as weakness, and an unability to get over things. *shrug*

 

Kudos to you for not giving in! It's not worth it. You rock, fox!

 

Thanks alot NM, I feel pretty good about it. I hate that the whole thing had to come to this end though. It was her choice, she has to live with it.

[Trialbyfire]

I agree TBF, people can change so quick. To be honest, I actually feel a little bad for her. She had a screwed up childhood and has made alot of bad choices in her life. This is just another bad choice that she will have to come to terms with. She has cheated on every man she has ever been with, I should have known better I guess.

I don't think she's changed. If anything, you're now seeing who she really is without the rose-coloured glasses of being in love. It's a hard pill to swallow. At least you know you're capable of giving deep love v. the shallow me, me, me emotion that she can give.

 

Ick...

[foxh1234]

Hey Fox,

 

I think you and I are going through similar situations.

 

Both of our ex's cheated on us.

 

Both of us are doing NC to heal(3 mths NC for me)

 

Both of our ex's are in relationships yet they are contacting us...meaning they haven't learnt anything in regards to their infidelity issues. I mean how would their boyfriends feel if they knew their girlfriends were contacting us telling us how much they miss us.

 

Mine went so far as to reply to an email I sent 3 mths ago...her excuse was that she didn't know whether she replied at the time or not. I would believe her if she didn't have a gmail account(gmail records all replies...so she already knew she never replied). She was just looking for an excuse to contact me b/c I ignored her lame text last time she tried contacting me. This kind of makes her look more pathetic in my eyes.

 

Whatever the case maybe for contact...our ex's cheating and their actions after the break up speak volumes of who they are....so there is no point for a response from us.

 

They don't deserve our acknowledgement b/c we didn't deserve to be cheated on again and again.

 

You are so right Serendip, our stories do sound alike. My ex has some issues she needs to work through and I don't plan on being there to help her anymore. While I am getting a little selfish pleasure by this contact, I would rather it stop and let me go and live my life. Even though I am not going to respond, it still makes me think about her. There are no winners in this f**king break up business, only losers.

[foxh1234]

I don't think she's changed. If anything, you're now seeing who she really is without the rose-coloured glasses of being in love. It's a hard pill to swallow. At least you know you're capable of giving deep love v. the shallow me, me, me emotion that she can give.

 

Ick...

 

It is kind of sad to think about the 8 years I wasted on this woman to end up here. I have learned alot but I would have rather not done it at all.

[Trialbyfire]

It is kind of sad to think about the 8 years I wasted on this woman to end up here. I have learned alot but I would have rather not done it at all.

((hugs))

 

It could have been worse, you might have married her and lived a life of complete misery!!!

[foxh1234]

((hugs))

 

It could have been worse, you might have married her and lived a life of complete misery!!!

 

Yeah your right. This just really feels like the end of an 8 year period in my life. I know it is best for me, but I am a little sad none the less. Tomorrow will be a new day and I will be back to where I was. I am doing 100% better and this little email thing is not going to bring me down. Thanks TBF for hug, right back at ya.

[serendip]

You are so right Serendip, our stories do sound alike. My ex has some issues she needs to work through and I don't plan on being there to help her anymore. While I am getting a little selfish pleasure by this contact, I would rather it stop and let me go and live my life. Even though I am not going to respond, it still makes me think about her. There are no winners in this f**king break up business, only losers.

 

 

No matter what...Fox...it's still sad. MY ex meant the world to me...and I would have done anything just to bring a smile to her face. If it wasn't for her cheating on me...I forgave her...then she did it again...I would climb mountains to try to get her back. But her actions tell me

 

1) She did not respect me or our relationship

2) She was a selfish human being

3) She still has not learn anything since she is contacting me while in a relationship

 

So that's what keeps me from responding to her

[foxh1234]

No matter what...Fox...it's still sad. MY ex meant the world to me...and I would have done anything just to bring a smile to her face. If it wasn't for her cheating on me...I forgave her...then she did it again...I would climb mountains to try to get her back. But her actions tell me

 

1) She did not respect me or our relationship

2) She was a selfish human being

3) She still has not learn anything since she is contacting me while in a relationship

 

So that's what keeps me from responding to her

 

Me too, all that you said. Thanks serendip

[foxh1234]

Hi folks, she emailed me again late last night. This is the 3rd email along with 2 phone calls. I might have made a mistake but I responded this time and said. Please don't email or call me again. We are done and I don't want you in my life in any capacity, friend or lover.You made the decision, now live with it. Goodbye. This was the hardest thing I have done in a long time. I just don't want to think about her or this break up anymore. This should be the end. She won't contact me again. I feel OK this morning but I still have her in my head. Did I make a mistake ?

[northstar1]

Hi folks, she emailed me again late last night. This is the 3rd email along with 2 phone calls. I might have made a mistake but I responded this time and said. Please don't email or call me again. We are done and I don't want you in my life in any capacity, friend or lover.You made the decision, now live with it. Goodbye. This was the hardest thing I have done in a long time. I just don't want to think about her or this break up anymore. This should be the end. She won't contact me again. I feel OK this morning but I still have her in my head. Did I make a mistake ?

 

Absolutely not. She is poison, remember that. She treated you poorly, now comes crawling back -she deserves no fair treatment.

 

Stick to your guns.

[foxh1234]

Absolutely not. She is poison, remember that. She treated you poorly, now comes crawling back -she deserves no fair treatment.

 

Stick to your guns.

 

Thanks North, I felt like I had to say something to let her know I was finished with her. I have to be honest, it hurt like hell to type those words. 8 years together man, down the tubes. I needed to do it though, this way I know it is done and closed for good. She had a choice and she chose her path. With this email I have chosen mine. Thanks again North

[northstar1]

Thanks North, I felt like I had to say something to let her know I was finished with her. I have to be honest, it hurt like hell to type those words. 8 years together man, down the tubes. I needed to do it though, this way I know it is done and closed for good. She had a choice and she chose her path. With this email I have chosen mine. Thanks again North

 

That is the essence of it. People have free will - they make choices on what they want. So, some ex's decide to cheat because they are selfish and only focused on their own happiness. Many will regret the choices - but if you make you bed, time to lie in it.

 

8 years is a long time, but be thankful you don't owe this woman half your assets, or that you had a child with her.

 

You are doing the right thing. Hopefully she leaves you alone.

[foxh1234]

That is the essence of it. People have free will - they make choices on what they want. So, some ex's decide to cheat because they are selfish and only focused on their own happiness. Many will regret the choices - but if you make you bed, time to lie in it.

 

8 years is a long time, but be thankful you don't owe this woman half your assets, or that you had a child with her.

 

You are doing the right thing. Hopefully she leaves you alone.

 

That's the truth, she had the choice and she did what she thought she wanted. I wish things had been different. I think she might be regretting it a bit but it doesn't really matter now. It is really sinking in today after replying to her that I will never see her again. As much as she has hurt me,this thought still stings.

[northstar1]

That's the truth, she had the choice and she did what she thought she wanted. I wish things had been different. I think she might be regretting it a bit but it doesn't really matter now. It is really sinking in today after replying to her that I will never see her again. As much as she has hurt me,this thought still stings.

 

I have the same thoughts my man - that the person you knew so well, and loved (when she was the person you fell in love with) is now becoming a stranger that you likely will never see again.

[bayouboi]

Fox this is awesome, congrats to you I have to admit I am a bit jealous because I would love the opportunity to tell mine where to go >: )

[ioncebelieved]

I have the same thoughts my man - that the person you knew so well, and loved (when she was the person you fell in love with) is now becoming a stranger that you likely will never see again.

 

I freaking hate this part!!!!!! A song that reminds me of this very thing is by Skid Row, yeah I am showing my age, "Wasted Time"

 

All that hard work for a new stranger in your life. Speaking of life, "ain't" life grand????