Confession?

[Lost-and-Found]

Ok I don’t usually ask for love advice on a forum but here I go…

 

I recently had my heart smashed into little tiny fragments by my now ex-boyfriend whom I dated for 5 months this year – we broke up a month ago.

 

The entire time that I was in the relationship I was attending a college and became incredibly close with one particular guy. He is hot, kind, jokes around, doesn’t feel the need to treat me as if I might break at any moment because I’m female but also knows when to treat me like a girl he’s an amazing guy and due to the fact that I –unlike all the other girls at the college- didn’t treat him as if he was a god because of his looks [lol seriously] we became great friends in the 5 months at college together.

 

I told him everything that happened with my ex when he and I were together, and when we broke-up he was so kind and was genuinely worried about me although we didn’t get to see each other since we both left the college and he’s getting a lot of late shifts. One night I was REALLY depressed – almost suicidal [not that he knew] and I told him why I was upset [i was so sick of being harassed by my family for my ex and I breaking up] and he texted me back almost instantly saying:

 

“Are you ****ing serious? Shut up already. Your an awesome chick and any guy would be lucky to have you. Stop beating yourself up about it because you didn’t fail him as a girlfriend, he failed you. You shouldn’t be thinking like that. Please. Promise me you won’t? I’m pretty sure you have a lot more going for you than you think.”

 

I knew I liked him the entire time I was with my ex but since we broke up all I could think about was him. How glad I was that I could talk to him. So when I read that text my happiness was off the charts, I couldn’t stop smiling for an entire week. I talked to my guy mates the other day [whom haven’t met him but know all about him] and they told me to just be confident and tell him how I feel. So I told him I need to speak with him, and somehow I’m now going to his basketball match tomorrow night and he’s driving me there so I’ll tell him on the way home; he keeps asking me what I need to say…it makes me feel like he knows…but he doesn’t. I don’t think he does. I hope not anyway lol.

 

What I’m trying to ask is HOW should I say I like him? I’m not like any of the BARBIE GIRLS that he usually attracts and that fawn for him when he leaves the room, I respect him. I’m just so scared for being rejected and losing our friendship, what would you say?

[saraispiel19]

Well good-job on the friendship!

 

I really think it's way too early for the "i love you more than a friend" talk, he just helped you with your last relationship and he'll probably think your on the rebound. I think you need to give it a little more time after this breakup even if it wasn't such a long time- but jumping right into another romantic situation doesn't look very good or benefits you.

 

Your vunerable and hurt (I believe so?) and being single with close friends is a great thing to have. Wait a while to express yourself, and be the same way you've alway been with him regardless of your crush. You don't want him to think that your impulsive, it's not a great trait to have.

 

Whatever you do, do- it's your decision in the end.

 

And to answer you about the rejection/acception part, you never really know what will happen! It's like Schrödinger's Cat theory; A cat in a sealed box can be both presumed dead or alive until the box is opened. So in a sense once you opened that box then you'll know!

 

 

Goodluck to ya and keep us posted!