luvmy2ns Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 What am I missing here? A negative attitude? Link to post Share on other sites
Virgo1982 Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 Who's on here 24/7??? I've yet to see ANY poster posting at anything approaching those hours...or anyone who's posting advice (or even just insults) at anything near the frequency or range of hours that's been suggested. Certainly not from anyone claiming a good marriage at least. What am I missing here? My response was an exaggeration. Who is on here 24/7? I think it's funny that you asked. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 My response was an exaggeration. Who is on here 24/7? I think it's funny that you asked. :laugh: touche! Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 My response was an exaggeration. Who is on here 24/7? I think it's funny that you asked. What's "funny" about my asking? Unless you're claiming/insinuating that its me, I don't get the "funny". If it IS me...that's rather humorous! Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 I'm sorry Owl. I don't know your personal situation, but quality time is important in a relationship. Many BS can relate to that concept. You know how the saying goes..."You only get to be with your MM ______ a _______. How could you love him?" I think if someone were really on here 24/7, someone in their life would be complaining that they had a problem. If my SO spent hours and hours on the computer, I would be concerned. I would be concerned if my SO wasn't concerned about me being on the internet for hours and hours while I'm home. I could not agree with this more, and in particular the bolded part SO TRUE!! Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 Again...snarky, half hidden insults aimed at BS's. Link to post Share on other sites
Virgo1982 Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 I would be concerned if my SO wasn't concerned about me being on the internet for hours and hours while I'm home. Hours and hours, yes. I'm sure you've all seen that time frame. I understand that TC and Owl have something going on. TC has agreed-and a few others-with one of my posts. We're not a tag team. We disagreed in another thread if that makes anyone feel better. I just think the amount of time spent on the computer-unless work related-should be a concern in a relationship. In addition, I believe those people who are happy in their relationship, or over the damage they experienced would spend a lot more energy there rather than the computer. I don't understand what's so hard to understand about this concept. I guess we all have a difference in opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
Virgo1982 Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 What's "funny" about my asking? Unless you're claiming/insinuating that its me, I don't get the "funny". If it IS me...that's rather humorous! Owl, I can't believe you are reacting this way. Don't you think it's funny you asked? Did you think I literally meant someone was on LS 24/7? Please lighten up. I'm dead serious about that request. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 Actually, I agree with you. If you're spending time on at the expense of what you should be spending with your family...you're risking your marriage. You're right. What I'm NOT seeing is anyone who is posting here during their "family time" that meets the description of what you and TC are alluding to. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 Virgo...clearly NO ONE is on here 24/7...and I knew it as an exaggeration as much as anyone did. Knowing that it was an exaggeration, there was nothing "funny" about what's being bandied here. What's being flat out said is an attempt to discredit and insult posters on the forum. And a specific group of posters...betrayed spouses that post on the site. PERIOD. I'm sorry...nothing "lighthearted" about that to me. Nor funny, or anything else. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 Again...snarky, half hidden insults aimed at BS's. OWL what has gotten into you today? Seriously why are you taking all this so personally? Don't you realise every time a general concept is put forth and you react to it you are bringing attention on to yourself and the general concept more than likely had NOTHING to do with you? Seriously lighten up! What I'm NOT seeing is anyone who is posting here during their "family time" that meets the description of what you and TC are alluding to. Well just because you don't see that it doesn't make it not true. Can't speak for Virgo but I am not about to sit here and call out specifics it's not worth a ban, everyone knows what's what. If you keep reacting to these comments so sharply I am going to start to think you actually feel you DO fit the description. It was funny that you took the 24/7 thing so literally that's all. NO ONE is on here 24/7 LITERALLY Link to post Share on other sites
Virgo1982 Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 Virgo...clearly NO ONE is on here 24/7...and I knew it as an exaggeration as much as anyone did. Knowing that it was an exaggeration, there was nothing "funny" about what's being bandied here. What's being flat out said is an attempt to discredit and insult posters on the forum. And a specific group of posters...betrayed spouses that post on the site. PERIOD. I'm sorry...nothing "lighthearted" about that to me. Nor funny, or anything else. Well, thank you for clearing that up. I thought it was me. Everyone jokes here, I thought. Anyway, I was not speaking about you when I posted that comment. I'm sorry that you are offended by my words, but that is truly how I feel about some two-maybe three-posters in the whole world on LS. If you think that means I feel that way about all BS's, there is really nothing more I have to say to you. You are irrational. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 Actually, I'm not all that irrational. You should see the PM's coming in from other's who have opted not to respond, but completely agree with my questions/concerns. What I'm offended at is the insults aimed at posters on this site. I don't care for people who come here with the goal of bashing anyone...there are BS's that come here that I simply do not care for because of their sole purpose to vent spleen on OW. I get that. But I don't like blanket insults either. I don't care if its aimed at me or not...it gets really, really tiresome trying to ignore them. Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 I don't care if its aimed at me or not...it gets really, really tiresome trying to ignore them. they are not blanket insults they are opinions based on the topic thread that obviously don't sit well with you. SO why come into this thread then? You should see the PM's coming in from other's who have opted not to respond, but completely agree with my questions/concerns. :laugh: Oh OWL....that comment is so grade 3. This conversation has just hit rock bottom. I am outy. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 I am outy. And my day is looking better already! Link to post Share on other sites
Tomcat33 Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 And my day is looking better already! Didn't realise I had that much influence on your days OWL is there something you want to tell us...? ( ) Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 And this is exactly the part I don't get. If herenow has indeed moved on, and the "OW is irrelevant" as she claims, then why does she continue to post so often (including starting her own threads) here in the OM/OW forum? Why not post in the Marriage forum to focus on issues that commonly arise in marriages? Or (if she is here to help others) why not post in the Infidelity forum to help others who are going through the same thing she went through? To me this unrelenting focus on the OW is a blaring red flag that it's NOT over for her... and she is using the OM/OW forum to work out her own lingering issues about her H's infidelity. (Why she isn't focusing on her H and M is another apparent contradiction... but that may be part of the "new marriage" they've created together. Hey, whatever works!) Oh yes, Open Book of course you are here to question my happiness once again as always. No problem, believe what you want to believe. You can say it a million times and I will still be happy with my life and my marriage. You can say that since I post here, it must not be true, but that won't change anything, but if it makes you feel better, again go for it. I happen to like some of the people I have met here and enjoy keeping in touch. My question is, why does my happiness bother you so much? Link to post Share on other sites
luvmy2ns Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 My question is, why does my happiness bother you so much? Awww, c'mon HN! Isn't that obvious? As for this issue of anyone being on LS any length of time and "if these BS are now so happy in their relationships, why are they still posting here?" What about all these ex OW on LS who are all theoretically happy with their MM they supposedly have "all to themselves" now? Why are they still posting too? Link to post Share on other sites
Virgo1982 Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 Awww, c'mon HN! Isn't that obvious? As for this issue of anyone being on LS any length of time and "if these BS are now so happy in their relationships, why are they still posting here?" What about all these ex OW on LS who are all theoretically happy with their MM they supposedly have "all to themselves" now? Why are they still posting too? That is a good point. BS and OW do have something in common... Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 This I agree with...BS and OW/OM do have a lot in common. And when its all said and done...we all tend to walk away hurting after the affair. Link to post Share on other sites
bish Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 Oh, and to clarify WHY I posted to begin with, almost EVERY situation I started to read either begins or ends with the Poster saying (pleading???) "Please don't bash me" or "I don't need bashing" Ya, and then that pleading is usually followed up with the ritual of wanting advice on how to handle the MM/MW that have nothing to do with ending the affair. That and deflecting their own role in the affair usually saying something like, "i have no responsibility here, I am not the one that said the vows to his wife/husband". The old, "not my problem" tripe. Link to post Share on other sites
Lookingforward Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 Ya, and then that pleading is usually followed up with the ritual of wanting advice on how to handle the MM/MW that have nothing to do with ending the affair. That and deflecting their own role in the affair usually saying something like, "i have no responsibility here, I am not the one that said the vows to his wife/husband". The old, "not my problem" tripe. and fwiw there is nothing on this board's header that says only post here if you want to END the A, is there ? Link to post Share on other sites
BentSpine Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 My impression is that Betrayed Spouses are such active posters that they quickly flood an OW/OM thread. I have a dream. That the Infidelity forum could be renamed BS-forum where Betrayed Spouses could vent their frustrations. Where they could vent that their former partner wasn't a slave to their promises when it came down to it. Other Women could go there to read about their frustration, and their pain of rejection, to get a broader view. That way there would be absolutely no need for Betrayed Spouses to cross the threshold into the OW-forum. The OW would finally be able to find a place of support. Boy, it's a nice dream. Link to post Share on other sites
Lookingforward Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 My impression is that Betrayed Spouses are such active posters that they quickly flood an OW/OM thread. I have a dream. That the Infidelity forum could be renamed BS-forum where Betrayed Spouses could vent their frustrations. Where they could vent that their former partner wasn't a slave to their promises when it came down to it. Other Women could go there to read about their frustration, and their pain of rejection, to get a broader view. That way there would be absolutely no need for Betrayed Spouses to cross the threshold into the OW-forum. The OW would finally be able to find a place of support. Boy, it's a nice dream. Personally I don't have anything against BSes posting to OW boards - what I object to is when an OW/OM posts their "story" only to be harangued with "you're a bottom sucking lowlife ho that deserves any pain you feel" as a response. I fail to see where that is of any help let alone supportive Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 Ya, and then that pleading is usually followed up with the ritual of wanting advice on how to handle the MM/MW that have nothing to do with ending the affair. That and deflecting their own role in the affair usually saying something like, "i have no responsibility here, I am not the one that said the vows to his wife/husband". The old, "not my problem" tripe. Oh.. did I miss something.. is the OW forum only for those who need advices on how to end their A.. or is it a place where the OWs can post about just anything they want to... Link to post Share on other sites
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