Lookingforward Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 Some BS don't care who they hurt either. Some BS don't acknowledge the marital problems until a threat comes along-in some cases. well, let's be honest here, there are SOME (not all by any means) BS who don't think ANY of their M problems (up to and including the A) are their fault whatsoever.......and they sure don't care at the time that they're hurting their spouse, so why would they care about an OW/OM ? Link to post Share on other sites
Virgo1982 Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 Oh sure there are people here that will call names and tell them they are, as lookingforward put it, bottom sucking scumbags(or something to that effect). But if calling people on their behavior and calling them on the fact that they don't care who they hurt, but then expect sympathy for their views is "bashing", then so be it. Well if cheaters are bottom-feeders wouldn't OW be doing BS a favor? Rid them of the garbage? Link to post Share on other sites
Virgo1982 Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 well, let's be honest here, there are SOME (not all by any means) BS who don't think ANY of their M problems (up to and including the A) are their fault whatsoever.......and they sure don't care at the time that they're hurting their spouse, so why would they care about an OW/OM ? I've seen posts where one spouse pleads for a change and gets nothing. I don't know if it's common, but it happens. Link to post Share on other sites
luvmy2ns Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 well, let's be honest here, there are SOME (not all by any means) BS who don't think ANY of their M problems (up to and including the A) are their fault whatsoever.......and they sure don't care at the time that they're hurting their spouse, so why would they care about an OW/OM ? I'm certain you are absolutely right. We could all be better people, non-BS included. There's no doubt about that. Link to post Share on other sites
Lookingforward Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 I'm certain you are absolutely right. We could all be better people, non-BS included. There's no doubt about that. If any of us were perfect we wouldn't be here, we'd be upstairs flapping our wings and playing our harps Link to post Share on other sites
luvmy2ns Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 Well if cheaters are bottom-feeders wouldn't OW be doing BS a favor? Rid them of the garbage? Like those fish that eat the eczema off of people? EWWW!!! That wasn't meant to be a dig at anyone. It was that bottom-feeder talk. It put an image in my head. Link to post Share on other sites
silktricks Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 I've seen posts where one spouse pleads for a change and gets nothing. I don't know if it's common, but it happens. And sometimes both spouses plead for a change, but for some reason neither can make themself understood adequately to the other. If a third person gets in the mix at that point it's combustion time! Link to post Share on other sites
Virgo1982 Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 And sometimes both spouses plead for a change, but for some reason neither can make themself understood adequately to the other. If a third person gets in the mix at that point it's combustion time! Where's the personal repsonsibility? Yeah, things would be definitely be different in there wasn't a third party... Link to post Share on other sites
Virgo1982 Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 And sometimes both spouses plead for a change, but for some reason neither can make themself understood adequately to the other. If a third person gets in the mix at that point it's combustion time! Sounds like three individuals who need to make changes in that case, no? Link to post Share on other sites
bish Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 Some BS don't care who they hurt either. Some BS don't acknowledge the marital problems until a threat comes along-in some cases. I don't think any, if many, BS's deny problems in a marriage or relationship. What they won't stand for is people telling them that they are responsible for their spouse/SO cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
Virgo1982 Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 I don't think any, if many, BS's deny problems in a marriage or relationship. What they won't stand for is people telling them that they are responsible for their spouse/SO cheating. And that's the attitude right there. Link to post Share on other sites
bish Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 Well if cheaters are bottom-feeders wouldn't OW be doing BS a favor? Rid them of the garbage? Sure, thats the way I feel. Thats the way I feel about the OM last year. I told him to his face that he did me a favor and that he is getting a cheater and they both deserve each other(except now he is in prison). Problem is, he tried to extend friendship to me and pretended to be my friend at the time. While I am glad she is with him and not me, I told him that I don't befriend people that pretend to be my friend when they are anything but. Link to post Share on other sites
bish Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 If any of us were perfect we wouldn't be here, we'd be upstairs flapping our wings and playing our harps Uh you wouldn't be here in that case cuz you'd be dead. Link to post Share on other sites
Virgo1982 Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 I don't think any, if many, BS's deny problems in a marriage or relationship. What they won't stand for is people telling them that they are responsible for their spouse/SO cheating. Some do. It's all their partner. It's the world of cheaters. They are perfect because they never cheated. BS-the other abbreviation. Cheating isn't going anywhere and bashing-whatever definition you choose for it-won't change it. So what's the purpose? Personal satisfaction. Every cheater or affair participant give you a chance to vent? Cry me a river. Build me a bridge and get over it... Link to post Share on other sites
luvmy2ns Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 I agree that NOBODY can "make" someone cheat. You can make someone want to leave the R, for sure, but not make them cheat. Cheating is the coward's way to deal with problems. Link to post Share on other sites
bish Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 And that's the attitude right there. And what attitude is that? Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 but when certain BSers and FOWs only come onto the OW board to harass and harangue the posters then it's counterproductive.......and I'm sure the adrenaline buzz they get as they press send on a nasty bashing post can't last long enough to make it worth while OW/OM need a place they know they can post without being called names by the "aggrieved" parties. It's not helping them work through things if you bash them and they never come back is it ? Yup, I agree. I'm all for tough love but I can't stand the ones that come out of nowhere and bash OW - calling them low-lifes, mocking them etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Lookingforward Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 Uh you wouldn't be here in that case cuz you'd be dead. well duh LOL Link to post Share on other sites
Virgo1982 Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 I don't think any, if many, BS's deny problems in a marriage or relationship. What they won't stand for is people telling them that they are responsible for their spouse/SO cheating. So worried about outsiders instead of fixing them. More than likely, your partner was not seduced and even if they were, it's still your marriage. The most important people in a marriage are the two people in it.You can not control the world.Bishiness never gets you anywhere with anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
bish Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 Some do. It's all their partner. It's the world of cheaters. They are perfect because they never cheated. BS-the other abbreviation. Nobody is perfect. I know I'm not. But there is a major difference between things like leaving the toilet seat up, having little nuances that might annoy a SO........and cheating. Cheating isn't going anywhere and bashing-whatever definition you choose for it-won't change it. So what's the purpose? Personal satisfaction. Every cheater or affair participant give you a chance to vent? Cry me a river. Build me a bridge and get over it... I'm over it. I couldn't be happier that I don't have her in my life any longer...with the exception of now a felon is living with my kids(well, not right now since he is in prison)..and the courts won't do anything about it, but thats another issue. But it doesn't mean that I can't despise despicable behavior when I see it. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 You're so sweet and loveable. ... too sweet and loveable... that's probably why he ended up cheated on... that's what happen when people are too nice.. they get walked all over them.. and... I like this avie much better... Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 And what attitude is that? too sweet and loveable.. Link to post Share on other sites
Lookingforward Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 too sweet and loveable.. Thanks lizz, I just snorted my coffee all over my keyboard........... Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 Cool, then I think I'll keep this one for a while. I think it clocks the silly mouse. Link to post Share on other sites
Virgo1982 Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 So worried about outsiders instead of fixing them. More than likely, your partner was not seduced and even if they were, it's still your marriage. The most important people in a marriage are the two people in it.You can not control the world.Bishiness never gets you anywhere with anyone. When I was an OW, I could say no MM should _________. But I'm responsible for me. No one else. Not BS. Not MM. Not OW. Not FOW. Not future OW. ME. Link to post Share on other sites
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