pollywag Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 The example I gave was a nasty good looking person v. a nice NOT good looking one. The problem is, I'm nothing anywhere NEAR boring and/or fat. I'm getting up there in years, but I look DAMN good (and am told that regularly and not only by men trying to pick up on me). Since I want the best of BOTH worlds, I want good outside and in, and I now have it. Love my tunes. I play four instruments and sing. I believe you when you say you are not boring. It's interesting that you seem to want to justify how special you are, I suppose in an attempt to what convince us that you would never be cheated on? We see your picture you don't need to convince us of anything. And yet earlier you said that people cheat with people so insignificant that they are blown away by the first sing of attention a cheater will show them. Your argument seems rather petty then. Link to post Share on other sites
pollywag Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 And, as has been pointed out previously in this thread, some people put on the persona they want to portray to attain their goal (sometimes marriage), but they can keep up the facade only so long. That I agree with. At that point the spouse contemplates cheating since they also feel cheated. So technically a person is already cheated on before they cheat. Link to post Share on other sites
pollywag Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 I wouldn't say I could never be cheated on. ANYONE can be cheated on, providing they are with the type of person who thinks only of themselves. I try to clear people like that out of my life pronto.I'm sorry but I am confused. If you aren't describing yourself physically to prove that you won't be cheated on then why are you doing that? We can see you in your photo so why the description? Maybe I misinterpreted what you meant then. Link to post Share on other sites
pollywag Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 In some cases, absolutely. My ex portrayed a VERY different person than the one he turned out to be. Once the ring went on, the facade slipped, and his true, selfish, self centered colors showed. He was even selfish toward our son. Hence, he is now the ex. But I didn't cheat on him to get even. I divorced him. Do you think maybe your ex married you for your money? I used to give sex for money back in my street days but I would never marry for money. Well now I can't marry since I am married to god, but if I could I mean. Link to post Share on other sites
silktricks Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 OTC Silk - the ego boost from being seen / associated with some svelte hottie rather than the boring fat W (to fall back on the stereotype) does wonders for the ego! It speaks of pulling power and unquenchable virility and all kinds of "status" attributes that make other guys look on in envy, and other women look on in interest. (Or curiosity, if they're clearly mismatched!) If the reason for the lack of self esteem originates with the spouse, though, as you say, then IMO the cheater will quite often not ,trade up, but instead go for someone who is not as smart, capable, rich handsome, etc. JMO, but based on things i've seen Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 How many people do you think cheat for self-esteem reasons? I think more cheat for sex. Do you think I'm wrong? Link to post Share on other sites
Virgo1982 Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 Usually, polly, but one of my colleagues (who's really pretty) was distraught when she discovered that her H's AP was as attractive as the back of a bus. It was THAT - the cheating down - rather than the cheating itself that cut her up the most. As if it pegged her (the W) as less attractive even than that. That, or not being able to rely on your looks... Link to post Share on other sites
bish Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 How many people do you think cheat for self-esteem reasons? I think more cheat for sex. Do you think I'm wrong? I think its mainly for sex, but I think its also for the ego boost which ties to self-esteem. the whole conquering thing. Link to post Share on other sites
pollywag Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 .................. Link to post Share on other sites
pollywag Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 I know, I don't know my tail from my snout at this point. Thanks for explaining it. That we can agree on, it is the sneaking around that hurts the most. I remember one night everyone was asleep and I went down to the fridge to see what I could find and I took the last Jello-Pudding chocolate snack. On my way back to my room and in an attempt to be extra quiet in the dark I walked my bare toe right into the base of the wooden hutch. The pain was incredible and I wanted to scream every profanity known to man and some never even heard of by man as well. I don't know how I managed but I bit my lip to hold in the wail and continued up to my room. I'll never forget that night. I ate the pudding with such glee and I went to sleep with a huge smile on my face. The next day Mother Magdalen asked us to confess who took the last pudding and to avoid being punnished I just blamed it on Sister Hertrudis, we always do. We were all ready to walking away and poor Sister Hertrudis was about to go off into the confessional to pray the rosary for penance and I came so close to getting away with it when mother superior called out "Poooooollyyyy.....!!!!" I hadn't realized this but the night before in my attempt to hide the tin can of pudding under my chair where my habit hung, the dried up pudding traces around the tin acted as a glue and when I got dressed the next morning the little tin can was neatly adhered to the back of my habit at my bum level. Busted!! Mother superior said to me "You know sister Polly it's not the sneaking around and lies that hurt me most it's that you took the last chocolate pudding and I was going to eat it" I don't get her sometimes. I just nodded and agreed with her, it's just easier that way. Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 I think its mainly for sex, but I think its also for the ego boost which ties to self-esteem. the whole conquering thing. I agree with the ego boost part to. I guess that would tie in to self-esteem. But I think sometimes they have TOO MUCH self-esteem. Link to post Share on other sites
Lookingforward Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 How many people do you think cheat for self-esteem reasons? I think more cheat for sex. Do you think I'm wrong? They cheat because they think no-one at "home" cares about them anymore - the sex is just an added bonus (especially if it's GREAT sex) Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 I know, I don't know my tail from my snout at this point. Thanks for explaining it. That we can agree on, it is the sneaking around that hurts the most. I remember one night everyone was asleep and I went down to the fridge to see what I could find and I took the last Jello-Pudding chocolate snack. On my way back to my room and in an attempt to be extra quiet in the dark I walked my bare toe right into the base of the wooden hutch. The pain was incredible and I wanted to scream every profanity known to man and some never even heard of by man as well. I don't know how I managed but I bit my lip to hold in the wail and continued up to my room. I'll never forget that night. I ate the pudding with such glee and I went to sleep with a huge smile on my face. The next day Mother Magdalen asked us to confess who took the last pudding and to avoid being punnished I just blamed it on Sister Hertrudis, we always do. We were all ready to walking away and poor Sister Hertrudis was about to go off into the confessional to pray the rosary for penance and I came so close to getting away with it when mother superior called out "Poooooollyyyy.....!!!!" I hadn't realized this but the night before in my attempt to hide the tin can of pudding under my chair where my habit hung, the dried up pudding traces around the tin acted as a glue and when I got dressed the next morning the little tin can was neatly adhered to the back of my habit at my bum level. Busted!! Mother superior said to me "You know sister Polly it's not the sneaking around and lies that hurt me most it's that you took the last chocolate pudding and I was going to eat it" I don't get her sometimes. I just nodded and agreed with her, it's just easier that way. :lmao::laugh: Sister Pollywag, it's good to see you back!! You've been missed. I think both Mother Superior and all the BS's who claim it's WHAT they cheated with (that scrumptious chocolate pudding) that bothers them the most... I sometimes wonder if it's just a decoy to the rest of us, and maybe even to themselves as well. So they don't have to deal with the message behind the lying and sneaking... that if their partner/Sister really did love them, they wouldn't have indulged behind their backs in something that they themselves crave. Just some pudding for thought. Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 I know, I don't know my tail from my snout at this point. Thanks for explaining it. That we can agree on, it is the sneaking around that hurts the most. I remember one night everyone was asleep and I went down to the fridge to see what I could find and I took the last Jello-Pudding chocolate snack. On my way back to my room and in an attempt to be extra quiet in the dark I walked my bare toe right into the base of the wooden hutch. The pain was incredible and I wanted to scream every profanity known to man and some never even heard of by man as well. I don't know how I managed but I bit my lip to hold in the wail and continued up to my room. I'll never forget that night. I ate the pudding with such glee and I went to sleep with a huge smile on my face. The next day Mother Magdalen asked us to confess who took the last pudding and to avoid being punnished I just blamed it on Sister Hertrudis, we always do. We were all ready to walking away and poor Sister Hertrudis was about to go off into the confessional to pray the rosary for penance and I came so close to getting away with it when mother superior called out "Poooooollyyyy.....!!!!" I hadn't realized this but the night before in my attempt to hide the tin can of pudding under my chair where my habit hung, the dried up pudding traces around the tin acted as a glue and when I got dressed the next morning the little tin can was neatly adhered to the back of my habit at my bum level. Busted!! Mother superior said to me "You know sister Polly it's not the sneaking around and lies that hurt me most it's that you took the last chocolate pudding and I was going to eat it" I don't get her sometimes. I just nodded and agreed with her, it's just easier that way. HolyMOG!!!! :lmao: :laugh: :lmao: Where have you been, Pollywag?! So good to see you back here. I've missed your sense of humour very much!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 I agree. Nice to see you again Polywag;) Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 If the reason for the lack of self esteem originates with the spouse, though, as you say, then IMO the cheater will quite often not ,trade up, but instead go for someone who is not as smart, capable, rich handsome, etc. JMO, but based on things i've seen I guess that depends if they're doing the going for, or if they're the gone for. I don't have much exposure to the "going for" in those conditions, but what I've witnessed (and participated in) has been the "gone for", and in those cases it's been someone who is on an attractiveness par with them - most definitely trading up from the spouse. (Hey, I'm proof of that! ) Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 Mother superior said to me "You know sister Polly it's not the sneaking around and lies that hurt me most it's that you took the last chocolate pudding and I was going to eat it" Polly, you should have shared! Link to post Share on other sites
Virgo1982 Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 Now I like that post! That's kinda what I was trying to get at with the idea that people aren't necessarily better just because they look better. I agree. Some people learn that lesson the hard way. Link to post Share on other sites
noforgiveness Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 Actually, both mine were for different reasons.....it doesn't offend me to say that my marriages were a farse or to have it pointed out to me that I picked the wrong men BOTH times! Wow you've been married twice and are now with a married man? Hmmm what does that say...? Link to post Share on other sites
Lookingforward Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 Wow you've been married twice and are now with a married man? Hmmm what does that say...? It says exactly what she said......that she made some bad choices.....not that hard to work out Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 It says exactly what she said......that she made some bad choices.....not that hard to work out I think for some it is hard to work out... Link to post Share on other sites
noforgiveness Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 It says exactly what she said......that she made some bad choices.....not that hard to work out wow you mean you think it is a bad choice to be with a married man? Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 wow you mean you think it is a bad choice to be with a married man? of course ... for some women it IS a bad choice.. for others ..no.. to each their own... Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 It might not be a bad choice for the OW (for some who prefer to be the OW)... ...but its a bad choice for everyone else involved, most of the time at least. Link to post Share on other sites
Lookingforward Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 wow you mean you think it is a bad choice to be with a married man? Don't put words in my mouth - for her it was a bad choice. I was with a married man, and I was a married woman.......for me it was a bad bad choice......... the fact we were married to each other didn't change that ROFL Link to post Share on other sites
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