My boyfriend of 7 months still speaks to his ex ( of 3 years) regularly.

[kalena9488]

This is my first time to this site!

I have a dilema and need some insight!

My boyfriend of 7 months still speaks to his ex ( of 3 years) regularly. I know this because I'm a little suspicious and have looked at the call log on his cell phone and the caller ID at his house. What should I do? He says he loves me and he's not seeing her or anyone else. (He says he knows I wouldn't see him if that were the case) (And he's right) I want to approach him and tell him so badly that he needs to stop talking to her but then he'll know I've been checking up on him. I don't know if I should leave it alone and see what happens. It completely pisses me off!

 

Thanks, for any insight!

[jalexy]

well..........i think they have a right to be friends.......but calling that much is not ok. they were once lovers, so of course you will haev your doubts. but i think checking up and seeing what hes been doing is a bad sign that you dont trust him as much as you could.

you need to sit and talk to him asap, i wouldnt tell him what you have been doing, but i would stop doing it. hes going to talk to her no matter what, so i think you would prefer him to not hide it.

its a sucky situation, good luck

[superd]

I know guys who cheat and they think that their gf's never look inside their cell. When I hear this my suspicions are confirmed that they do check and they know more than the bf thinks.

[niko1999]

My boyfreind still works with one of his ex's, and they get along fine. They dont talk everyday, but they visit at work, and sometimes talk on the computer. Have you met her? She may be a really nice girl. Actually, my boyfreind keeps in contact with all his ex girlfreinds. And sometimes it bothers me, but I have learned not to let it bother me. Let him know how you feel, but you cant keep him from being freinds with people. Look at it this way, if you guys break up, chances are youll still be freinds afterwards. It means he is not one to hold a grudge.

[superd]

I don't understand why he would need his ex unless you weren't giving him what he needs (and I am not even nec. talking about sexual needs). The only reason he would go somewhere else is because his needs aren't being met.

[kalena9488]

Thanks for the insight! I don't think I can approach this subject with him anymore! I have already in the past and he says I have nothing to worry about so, I'm going to just try and do what ya'll have suggested and stop worrying about it. If he didn't love me then he would'nt call me all throughout the day and me him and our combined three kids wouldn't have just returned from a vacation together! Atleast I don't think most men would do this!

 

Thanks!

[Paul]

Originally posted by superd

I don't understand why he would need his ex unless you weren't giving him what he needs (and I am not even nec. talking about sexual needs). The only reason he would go somewhere else is because his needs aren't being met.

 

When you say this, do you mean in a negative way, as in the original poster is not fulfilling her end of the relationship or do you mean that the needs of each person in this particular relationship don't align with each other?

[kalena9488]

Well, I couldn't control my urge to let him know that I knew! I told him everything even that I had checked his cell phone! He was disappointed but because I didn't trust him! Anyway he says he'll cut down on the phone calls! He also said most of the time when she has called it's been she just left a message! Also, said she's called lately because there are projects at her home that she is starting or completing that at one time he was going to do for her and she calls with questions on that! I said that's fine but I don't think she should be calling everyday and he agreed! So, well see but I think everything will be okay with us!

 

We had dated over 20 years ago while we were in HS. We've both been married and divorced and we both have 3 kids a piece. We were able to find each other again after me being in the military and gone for more than 18 years so I've got my fingers crossed!