-LDR, I cant cope?

[darkangelxo]

Hey :] First time on here, so bare with me. Sorry for the long post.

 

-Im 16, my boyfriend is 17. We met at the beginning of the year - online.

-He lives 3 hours away from me, and it costs £68 for the train.

-I believed I loved him, or loved the person he was presenting to me, (which I have found out is himself irl also).

-We've now been together for just under 4 months. Everything was going fine, we've met once & I continued to love him just as much, if not more, after I had met him.

-He was meant to come down to see me on my birthday (July 1st) but things got in the way and it wasnt possible.

-His laptop then broke, and the only contact we have now is texting and phone conversations.

 

This is where the problems started.

 

-Because our relationship started online, I feel without the online access, our relationship isnt the same.

-We have spoken about this, we even had to break up once a few days ago because I didnt think I could take the distance anymore.

-Ive also been having thoughts, not dirty ones, but serious ones, like I wish I didnt love him and maybe I dont love him.

-The most recent thought is that I feel because the relationship isnt the same as it used to be, im scared im going to fall out of love with him because I need the contact 24/7. If that makes sense.

-I have spoken to him, about everything, and we're trying to hold on to the relationship because neither of us want it to end. And I know everything will be okay when he gets his laptop back.

-Like ive said, he was meant to come see me, and didnt. Now hes meant to be coming down 2nd of August, but because of my mums rules, my best mate has to be here aswell, but she may be busy now so that means my boyfriend may not be able to come down for a week or so after that (which would make it 3+ weeks untill I see him again).

 

Now, I hate putting him through the pain of what im thinking but I cant help but not tell him because I cant keep anything from him. So im just wondering, is it worth it?

Is the pain of me thinking what I do, and the pain of the distance, worth it?

 

I dont want to break up with him, I know as soon as I see him again ill be okay, but because I dont have that to look to, I just.. I dont know it all seems abit to hard for me.

 

Can anyone give me any advice? Or coping methods? Anything I can do to make myself feel better about the whole situation.

 

 

Thanks.

[SaraLovesHerAndy]

Hey hun,

Im sorry to say but that is the one bad thing about long distance relationships, if you have a problem or anything u cant just pop round to see them and sort it out.

Is there a friend that has a comp. u cud borrow just to talk to him every so often or an internet cafe? even if its just to send emails back and forth to eachother.

I think u just need to hang in there because like u sed once u meet up again u know it'll be alright again, u have to have a lot of self strength when in a LDR because u havent always got ur SO to lean on

[cobidoll]

at all! find someone close and have a better dating/love life. or move to be closer. but they DO NOT WORK. at all.

[whateverwillbe]

You sound a bit confused. Just try to relax. If he is such a great guy, he will be worth the wait. At least you have text messaging to get you through until he gets a computer up and working. If you can't have a relationship until he has a computer up and working again, you really need to figure out why that is. I realize that one can be a lot more honest and say things they may otherwise be uncomfortable with in the spoken language.

 

You are so young, but in a difficult time of your life. Three months seems like such a short time. But at your age, it may seem forever. Do you feel he won't stick around if he can't see you in person?

 

You really need to figure out what you can and can not tolerate. If you can't tolerate a LDR without freaking out, you may need to end it. It is hard when you can't be with the person, you don't know where you honestly stand in their life, you can't feel them and their warmth for you via the computer.