foxh1234 Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 Hi folks, just when I thought things couldn't get more difficult. There is a good chance that my ex will be at a mutual friends party tomorrow night. I don't know what to do, I want to go but I don't want to see her. What do you guys think ? should I just avoid it, or go and ignore her, say hi, chit chat, what ? After her emails and calls and me telling her I never want to see her again, it could be a bit tense. I really want to go though. Any input would be great. Link to post Share on other sites
northstar1 Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 Hi folks, just when I thought things couldn't get more difficult. There is a good chance that my ex will be at a mutual friends party tomorrow night. I don't know what to do, I want to go but I don't want to see her. What do you guys think ? should I just avoid it, or go and ignore her, say hi, chit chat, what ? After her emails and calls and me telling her I never want to see her again, it could be a bit tense. I really want to go though. Any input would be great. If you think it will mess you up, and make you tense all night, i'd avoid it. I just know for myself, I'd be way too stressed about it to enjoy myself, esp if seeing the ex was gonna set me back. You don't wanna miss events because of some silly ex, but I think you have to ask yourself if you'll be mentally able to focus and not be messed up by seeing her? Link to post Share on other sites
stlnsmile Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 I think you'll be gutted. Don't go. Link to post Share on other sites
iwish Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 I saw my ex at a party recently and it DID NOT go well. She was hanging out with another guy all night and it drove me crazy (although they are supposed to be 'friends only').. The best thing is not to go, but if you really want go just IGNORE her, don't drink too much and if you feel at all emotional. Leave. Link to post Share on other sites
roghornio Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 I saw my ex at a party recently and it DID NOT go well. She was hanging out with another guy all night and it drove me crazy (although they are supposed to be 'friends only').. The best thing is not to go, but if you really want go just IGNORE her, don't drink too much and if you feel at all emotional. Leave. Whatever you do if you go is DON’T get totally wasted, burst into tears in front of her and kick the living **** out of any guy that goes near her. LOL Personally I would just go. You can’t let your ex dictate your life. Go out – have some fun. Be nice, say hi and go with the flow. Link to post Share on other sites
saraispiel19 Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 I say go if you don't you'll look like a wuss (really). If you happen to bump into eachother a quick hello wouldn't kill you just make it brief and not into a conversation. Don't go out of your way to ignore her because when guys do that it's obvious- unless you intentionaly want to look like a dick then go right ahead. In my opinion I say go and be yourself, just because when you broke up your social life went down the drain with her. Live it up, keep it real and most of all enjoy yourself and the company of your friends. Goodluck to ya! Link to post Share on other sites
iwish Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 Whatever you do if you go is DON’T get totally wasted, burst into tears in front of her and kick the living **** out of any guy that goes near her. LOL Personally I would just go. You can’t let your ex dictate your life. Go out – have some fun. Be nice, say hi and go with the flow. Ha, i did not kick the living crap out of anybody. I did get totally drunk though and had some pussy tears in my eyes!! (man do i regret that) went home with another girl though (i regret that too).. If you go just don't get too drunk, that's the key Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 It's near impossible for anyone on LS to gauge your emotional state about your ex. You've moved over the biggest hump which was to realize that you don't want her in your life. What happens if she's incredibly sweet to you during the party, especially after you've had a few drinks? You know she wants you in her life and will do whatever she can to have you at her beck and call, stroking that massive ego of hers. Link to post Share on other sites
serendip Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 She's showing up to the party most likely b/c she thinks you will be there since she wants you back Surprise attack her....don't be there...it would make her more upset and enforce the fact the it's OVER Link to post Share on other sites
saraispiel19 Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 Ah didn't know she still liked you...Hmm well you can: A) don't go and have no fun B) you can go to the party then convince some friends to go somewhere else and play pool, 4 wheeling or something else C) go to the party be a duche bag and ignore her D) go to the party say hi and do your own thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author foxh1234 Posted July 18, 2008 Author Share Posted July 18, 2008 It's near impossible for anyone on LS to gauge your emotional state about your ex. You've moved over the biggest hump which was to realize that you don't want her in your life. What happens if she's incredibly sweet to you during the party, especially after you've had a few drinks? You know she wants you in her life and will do whatever she can to have you at her beck and call, stroking that massive ego of hers. You are right that I don't want her back. She will probably try and talk to me and act sweet as you say and see if she can hook me again. I think I am better off skipping this thing and doing something else. Nothing good can come of seeing her and talking to her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author foxh1234 Posted July 18, 2008 Author Share Posted July 18, 2008 Ah didn't know she still liked you...Hmm well you can: A) don't go and have no fun B) you can go to the party then convince some friends to go somewhere else and play pool, 4 wheeling or something else C) go to the party be a duche bag and ignore her D) go to the party say hi and do your own thing. I don't know if she likes me or just wants me in her back pocket. She has a new man and I told her through email that I didn't want her in my life in any capacity. I just think she wants to play games and as far asI am concerned, game time is long past for us. Link to post Share on other sites
serendip Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 You are right that I don't want her back. She will probably try and talk to me and act sweet as you say and see if she can hook me again. I think I am better off skipping this thing and doing something else. Nothing good can come of seeing her and talking to her. Good plan No matter how much you think you can control your emotions...when you see her you will either get really angry with her b/c you recently found out she cheated on you with a second guy(one wasn't bad enough) and you never rip her a new one for that...it will be embarrassing for you and everyone at the party or She cries, begs and pleads to get you back and you turn into YYY Best thing to do is give it some time before you see each other in any setting...until you reach the zen of indifference Link to post Share on other sites
saraispiel19 Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 I don't know if she likes me or just wants me in her back pocket. She has a new man and I told her through email that I didn't want her in my life in any capacity. I just think she wants to play games and as far asI am concerned, game time is long past for us. what a nasty little twit- well you go along and have your own fun. Link to post Share on other sites
Author foxh1234 Posted July 18, 2008 Author Share Posted July 18, 2008 what a nasty little twit- well you go along and have your own fun. Truer words were never spoken. Nasty little Twit it is. :D Link to post Share on other sites
saraispiel19 Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 Truer words were never spoken. Nasty little Twit it is. :D Why don't you just have a buck's night with the rest of your mates- there problem solved. Link to post Share on other sites
LikeCharlotte Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 I don't know what you have decided but don't go. You aren't healed yet. Before you heard that awful cheating news I would have told you to go and enjoy yourself and if you get uncomfortable leave. This is different. You need time. Go out with friends or do something by yourself. Call the mutual friends up to do something different afterward. Link to post Share on other sites
justaman99 Posted July 18, 2008 Share Posted July 18, 2008 I don't know if she likes me or just wants me in her back pocket. She has a new man and I told her through email that I didn't want her in my life in any capacity. I just think she wants to play games and as far asI am concerned, game time is long past for us. I wouldn't go. If you don't she'll wonder why you aren't there and if her intention is to play games and show some dude around you she won't then succeed. All she will think now is damn, I can't make him jealous. Go do something else. -Just Link to post Share on other sites
Author foxh1234 Posted July 19, 2008 Author Share Posted July 19, 2008 Your all right, I'm not going. I am going out with a few friends instead. Thanks everyone for the help. Link to post Share on other sites
Author foxh1234 Posted July 20, 2008 Author Share Posted July 20, 2008 I wouldn't go. If you don't she'll wonder why you aren't there and if her intention is to play games and show some dude around you she won't then succeed. All she will think now is damn, I can't make him jealous. Go do something else. -Just I just heard from a buddy that she was there last night with the new BF. He said she asked him twice where I was and if I was coming. I am really glad I didn't go. It could have gotten rather messy. Link to post Share on other sites
northstar1 Posted July 20, 2008 Share Posted July 20, 2008 I just heard from a buddy that she was there last night with the new BF. He said she asked him twice where I was and if I was coming. I am really glad I didn't go. It could have gotten rather messy. Good call Fox. She's trouble. Link to post Share on other sites
Arise_Serpentor Posted July 20, 2008 Share Posted July 20, 2008 thats's right! You can either run and hide and give her all the control over how you live your life, or face it like a man! Your choice! Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted July 20, 2008 Share Posted July 20, 2008 thats's right! You can either run and hide and give her all the control over how you live your life, or face it like a man! Your choice! There's a time and a place to start to assert yourself. Fox is at a pivotal point in his recovery. Let's not sabotage it. Link to post Share on other sites
Arise_Serpentor Posted July 20, 2008 Share Posted July 20, 2008 There's a time and a place to start to assert yourself. Fox is at a pivotal point in his recovery. Let's not sabotage it. Its good to live life as a trial by fire sometimes, don't you think?! Imagine the accomplishment when he asserts himself and succeeds! He'll be so much more of a person! Better than hiding! Link to post Share on other sites
Author foxh1234 Posted July 20, 2008 Author Share Posted July 20, 2008 thats's right! You can either run and hide and give her all the control over how you live your life, or face it like a man! Your choice! uh, ok. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
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