Contact after 1 year

[Owl]

Lets put it this way...crazy might not be treatable...but accepting emotional/verbal abuse is. You stop accepting it.

 

If your SON is saying she's crazy...what does that tell you?????

 

From my perspective, its up to you if you want to stay or if you want to go. What you need to remember is that you're teaching your kids about relationships as you do this. You've shown them that you do your best to repair any relationship/marriage...but at the end of the day, they still see you taking this abuse from your wife.

 

What you do from here is YOUR choice...again...is it bad enough for you to jump out of the water or not?

[White Flower]

I said if insecurity is your reason for staying in contact all these years, and you were always afraid I would leave you, why did you always threaten divorce to me when we had problems. She said that was the only way to get my attention and that I would always straighten up and fly right after that.

SO, she has used revenge as the initial reason she had contacted the OM last year. Insecurity as the reason she stayed in contact with the OM all these years. She claims she has finally let go of her love for her x husband.

She claims that the reason she liked messing with the camp manager is that he is a smartass like her. She claims that most of the men she likes to banter with are smartasses like her and that is why she does it. The doctor at work that was a little too friendly for my blood has gotten the message and leaves her alone. I said what did you tell him? She said nothing, but he can tell I don't want him touching me by my actions. Yeah right. I told her I think she has a need for male attention, she denies it.

 

So Love Shack friends is this what I have to live with or do I devote time to trying to change her? I have logged in 27 years of trusting her and loving her only to discover I have been blindly trusting someone I should not have.

Tomorrow is our 25th wedding anniversary.

Plano,

 

While I do think she has issues, I also think she has been candid enough to admit them to you. Even if she is misguided in her reasoning (and she should get counseling for that) at least she told you what was on her mind. I know a lot of women who enjoy the 'friendly touching' and flirting at work and NEVER talk about it at home. I think part of your problem is knowing what is going on and knowing what everyone else thinks. Don't be too concerned with what we think. Carefully sift through our advice and chose what makes sense to you.

 

If the love has died, then I'm sure it's over anyway, but do try to at least get some MC for you both.

 

Best of luck to you.

[Planofool]

I went to a new therapist yesterday and came away with alot to think about. I tried to squeeze in all the info on our situation from her father leaving her at 3 to her previous marriage all the way to today. All of my wife's shopping and hordeing disorders, flirting and need for male attention.

What she said is my wife has all the characteristics of an alcoholic without the booze. She has all the ism's of an alcoholic. She even wants me to go to Alanon meetings. She also told me to look up codependency on the internet.

Any thoughts?