Changing your name after marriage.

[Ariadne]

If I were to marry Denver guy (sure, but that's not the point).

 

I'd change my name to his and just print business cards with my new name and hand them out to strangers. Email random people.

 

I don't know. I'd be so proud.

[Stung]

my partner and i have been discussing marriage and i have already told him there's no way i'm taking his last name; he's fine with it. he agrees with me that it's kind of weird that a woman is expected to give up part of her identity just because she has ovaries and a wedding ring at the same time. i can understand the impulse, the love and belongingess factor; i already get mail addressed to me as Mrs. My-First-Name His-Last-Name and i think it's kind of sweet, i would let people address me as that casually without correction and might even encourage him to call me that from time to time in the boudoir, but for real? i grew up with my name, i like the way it sounds, i have used it professionally and academically, it's my heritage- and it stays. i offered to let him change his name to mine, which he found a reasonable, but amusing, alternative- one which he is unlikely to embrace. his name is more professionally valuable than mine, for one thing, and he is as attached to it as i am to mine. we are expecting our first child in a few months, and have already decided on hyphenation for our baby boy's last name. as my partner is the last male in his family and i am the last in my family period, both of us feel strongly that our child should carry both names. a lot of people criticize our going the hyphenation route, but my feeling is basically that those people can suck it (kidding! sort of). if i'm spending the majority of a year vomiting and swelling and giving up wine to carry this little guy around, he is damn well getting MY name, too...i think that if the worst thing he has to complain about when he is an adult is years of writing down a long last name, then i will have been an amazingly good parent. and i trust that when and if he gets around to marrying and having children of his own, he will be smart and confident enough to decide for himself what he wants to do with his name...keep half, change it to his wife's (or husband's), keep it all, change it to something entirely different, whatever. at that point, it will be HIS business, not mine, right?

[quankanne]

if I had a kid, I'd give it both names so he or she could take advantage of the minority factor when it came time to get into college or university ... cha-ching, hello Sallie Mae!

 

My H and I discussed both of us changing our names to create a new name; like Gates or Kennedy. If you're going to change it, why not go with some one who's rich and powerful? haha

 

hmm, then I'd go with something really, really short and sweet, like "Bob." Though with my first name, it'd REALLY sound like a redneck name, and I don't want that! :laugh:

 

I think woman goes a step behind when she does

 

oh, lizzie, my husband is VERY clear on the fact that I wear the pants in the relationship as much as he does. I'll walk a step behind when I decide to walk a step behind. Otherwise, we're walking abreast, together.

[johan]

abreast

 

heh heh. heh heh...

[quankanne]

hey, it's not like I said "a-boob" or anything

[johan]

a-boob

 

heheheheheh... heh heh heh heh.. hehehehe heh heh.

[Kristine]

I changed mine both times I married and now it's a mess because I'm back to my maiden name. I have to fill out job apps like a criminal because I've used other names. You know the question, have you gone by any other names, and my answer is yes (my former two married names). But I know it looks bad. Follow your heart on this one.

[sb129]

Hey,

 

Aren't you going to move to NZ and start a new life over there?

 

Then just take his name and establish yourself with the married name in there.

 

I think it won't be so complicated.

 

We are returning BACK to resume life there after being away for a number of years. Both of our families live there, and most of our friends, and thats where I got my degree (in my own name).

Thanks though A.

 

If I were to marry Denver guy (sure, but that's not the point).

 

I'd change my name to his and just print business cards with my new name and hand them out to strangers. Email random people.

 

I don't know. I'd be so proud.

 

Awww. I know what you mean.... I am looking forward to being a Mrs somebody, but it goes deeper than the name.

[NewSunrise]

Been married twice. Kept my maiden name and hypenated both times. Ain't doing it again!!!! What a big hassle! Even if you have to revert back to your maiden name, you still have to go through hoops to drop the married name. Thank goodness, my BF is secure enough to let me keep my maiden name just the way it is. Be different if there are kids. But if none, why bother?

[Alma Mobley]

Kept my maiden name both times. Much less of a hassle. Second husband agreed that the kids (if they happen!) would have my name, but then his last name is his stepfather's, and he hates him! So there isn't that much room for debate.

 

I really like the idea of couples deciding on a new name when married, but alas, it won't happen. The courts would make it too difficult.

 

You can change your name and publish under your given name, though, if you are worried about studies.