Need Advice , Feelings for Close Friend.

[vanilla87]

I beg to differ. It depends on a few things, plus every male/female friendship is different. I have guy friends that wanted to date me that I've put in the friend zone, while others that I've had a change of heart, each friendship is different and it also changes as you get older.

 

I understand the situation more, because I have feelings for a guy friend, who inturn had feelings for me in the past, but is being all weird about it now, especially after a kiss this past year we had shared (and this was not a quick peck!), who I've been friends with for 6 1/2 - 7 years, so things can change...

 

Anyway, you have to go by what you see, hear, and feel in your gut, because even if your not too sure, the one thing I've learned and was taught that is used in the military is this: your first instinct is always the best instinct because if you change your mind or doubt it, you could be wrong.

 

So follow on through with your instincts unless she gives off vibes or says anything about another guy she is interested in, ask her.

 

I'll give you a good example: My ex who I'm friends with for the last 6 years(different from guy mentioned before), we get along very good, practically like we never even dated. So out of the blue one night hanging out, watching movies, he asked me if there was anything between us, as more then friends. Well I told him straight up that we're just friends because I only see him as a friend.

 

When a girl says she only sees you as a friend she only has to say it enough to convince herself before she can convince you, but that only applies if she doesn't want to ruin the friendship, other then that if the girl is not attracted to you and doesn't flirt with you, then its a no brainer that she isn't interested.

[StyleFan03]

Now I don't want to burst your bubble because anything can happen and I wish you the best of luck..but 5 years is too long.

 

There is an old theory called the Ladder Theory that basically states that there are two separate ladders you can climb and a huge deadly abyss in between.

 

Sorry to say mate, but unless you learn some serious seduction skills you're just gonna going to run the risk of killing the friendship.

 

I'll give you an example: You meet a woman and out of politeness or bad habit, you don't make physical contact within the first day. Not grab her or anything like that, just lightly touch the outside of her arm or whatever natural. You make a psychological barrier that leads to an awkward high school moment when you try to kiss her.

 

Make sense? In other words, when you try to make the jump from potential mate to making a move on her, you've got a wide and awkward gap. Make sense? If you waited FIVE YEARS then the gap is the grand canyon and you need some professional daredevil training to even have a CHANCE at making it. Now again, I don't want to burst your bubble. Just be aware that ladder theory is based on the idea of a woman making a CLEAR distinction between intellectual friend and potential mate and it's easy to jump from mate to friend but almost impossible to jump back to mate.

 

If you do decide to I suggest you learn what you're getting into.

[paddington bear]

I think she is trying to give him subtle hints...yes 5 years is a long time, and yes, if a girl starts to tell you about her other boyfriends/dates, you have been friendzoned...however, I have told guy friends that I wanted as boyfriends, but seemed uninterested about my dates etc, I wanted to make sure I wasn't concentrating on one guy who seemed uninterested - also didn't want to seem like some loser girl with no life.. and I admit it, to hopefully make them just a little jealous so that maybe one day the guy would say 'don't date those losers, go out with me instead'...

 

Tell her how you feel, if you don't, you'll go slowly mad and you'll miss your opportunity and she'll end up going out with someone else. If the answer is no, the friendship might change, become more awkward, but maybe that's not such a bad thing - it will leave you open to meeting a girl who wants you as more than a friend. Just do it!!!

[Water Tiger 08]

Listen, what do you want? Go for it. Sounds like she's a physical sort of gal, great. Be more bold and if you are turned away, so what, there are plenty of fish. If she's indeed using her, why can't you use her?

 

I would guess you have a little frustration inside about this. Get it out, see how she reacts. Take it to the next level.

 

My last question is do you want to remain as a friend? I'm guessing no.

 

Water