I Cheated Today

[Angel1111]

What I would like to know is why so many posters changed their opinion of this whole thing now that you've found inconsistencies in the story.

 

I knew it was bull regardless.

 

She's running this crap by us to see how quick we buy it so she can try and sell it to the people in her life.

 

My guess is she's scared the beans are going to get spilled one way or the other and she wants to be ready.

 

E..H

 

That's cuz you're smarter than us.

 

So if this is all made up, what I wonder about - assuming it's true - is how she could accuse such a long-time friend of rape, not to mention how this would hurt the guy's sister who she's supposed to be friends with. That's taking the lie to a whole new level. Because even if she doesn't intend to press charges for rape, she doesn't know for sure what her husband might do because he's going to be boiling mad. That's a pretty serious thing to do to someone, and to your friend's brother.

[Trialbyfire]

I never changed my mind throughout the thread...

[Event Horizon]

That's cuz you're smarter than us.

 

So if this is all made up, what I wonder about - assuming it's true - is how she could accuse such a long-time friend of rape, not to mention how this would hurt the guy's sister who she's supposed to be friends with. That's taking the lie to a whole new level. Because even if she doesn't intend to press charges for rape, she doesn't know for sure what her husband might do because he's going to be boiling mad. That's a pretty serious thing to do to someone, and to your friend's brother.

She's willing to do it because she's a selfish person who doesn't care who she hurts as long as she gets what she wants AND looks like the victim at the same time.

 

I'm not smarter than anyone else...I should have added "IMO" so as to not imply I know more than anyone else.

 

So, all this is IMO.

 

E..H

[Event Horizon]

I never changed my mind throughout the thread...

You're right and I'm wrong. My apologies.

 

I just went back and re-read and I misunderstood something you said.

 

Again I'm sorry because it WAS you I was referring to, and I was wrong.

 

You didn't deserve that. I respect your opinions as much as anyone here. Along with Art Critic.

 

E..H

[Trialbyfire]

You're right and I'm wrong. My apologies.

 

I just went back and re-read and I misunderstood something you said.

 

Again I'm sorry because it WAS you I was referring to, and I was wrong.

 

You didn't deserve that. I respect your opinions as much as anyone here. Along with Art Critic.

 

E..H

No worries E.H. I appreciate that you took the effort to reread what I wrote.

[Event Horizon]

No worries E.H. I appreciate that you took the effort to reread what I wrote.

Well it was the least I could do if I was going to be throwing accusations around.

 

Thanks for letting me off the hook.

 

E..H

[Spectre]

I think it is amazing some people thought she didn't have to tell her husband, as long as she felt really bad and vowed never to do it again.

 

Talk about naive. It really doesn't matter how you feel, it's how the other person does. Not to tell them would be simply making a fool of them. Of course there will be consequences..of course there will be suffering. So? That is life, people. Also if you were that worried about making them suffer, you wouldn't of done what you did in the first place. It is real classy to screw someone over and then you can't fess up to them because u want to protect their feelings after the fact. You might think one thing is nor worth risking a relationship, but again that is a decision for both people in the relationship to make, when both people have all the information.

 

Now maybe this girl was raped(although you'd think she would of made that clear in the first place, most girls I know can tell the diff between rape and cheating), who knows, but I'm more commenting on other people saying "as long as it won't happen again, keep your mouth shut" because that is just completely retarded and not to mention selfish. That is why stuff like this keeps happening to people, because of stuff like this. People do something shady, and convince themselves it is better not to say anything because they think they are sparing their SO from pain, when they are really just deceiving them. If you have to deceive a person to keep them in a relationship with you, then you are a fraud. Newsflash: you aren't doing them any favors, you think you are, but you aren't.

 

Pain in life is unavoidable, and most people would be happy that in the long run, they were able to get out of a relationship with someone who was obviously not for them..rather than staying completely oblivious to the fact they had been deceived, and going on for years thinking their SO was someone they were not.

[Angel1111]

I think it is amazing some people thought she didn't have to tell her husband, as long as she felt really bad and vowed never to do it again.

 

Talk about naive. It really doesn't matter how you feel, it's how the other person does. Not to tell them would be simply making a fool of them. Of course there will be consequences..of course there will be suffering. So? That is life, people. Also if you were that worried about making them suffer, you wouldn't of done what you did in the first place. It is real classy to screw someone over and then you can't fess up to them because u want to protect their feelings after the fact. You might think one thing is nor worth risking a relationship, but again that is a decision for both people in the relationship to make, when both people have all the information.

 

Now maybe this girl was raped(although you'd think she would of made that clear in the first place, most girls I know can tell the diff between rape and cheating), who knows, but I'm more commenting on other people saying "as long as it won't happen again, keep your mouth shut" because that is just completely retarded and not to mention selfish. That is why stuff like this keeps happening to people, because of stuff like this. People do something shady, and convince themselves it is better not to say anything because they think they are sparing their SO from pain, when they are really just deceiving them. If you have to deceive a person to keep them in a relationship with you, then you are a fraud. Newsflash: you aren't doing them any favors, you think you are, but you aren't.

 

Pain in life is unavoidable, and most people would be happy that in the long run, they were able to get out of a relationship with someone who was obviously not for them..rather than staying completely oblivious to the fact they had been deceived, and going on for years thinking their SO was someone they were not.

 

That's one opinion. Some people might think that they're being unselfish by not telling their spouse because of how much it would hurt them. Just depends on your point of view.

[bish]

Now wearing a dress is an invitation ? What next ?

 

Nobody in this day and age wears a dress simply to go watch a DVD at someone's house. A party, maybe, but to watch a movie with a guy that she knew wanted her? Sorry, its a little too obvious.

 

She wanted to provide this guy easy access in case something went down. She knew what she was doing.

[bish]

The dress has nothing to do with this.

 

Sure it does. How many women do you know wear a dress just to watch a movie with a "friend"?

 

She put on the dog for this guy. The dress was part of it.

[bish]

What I would like to know is why so many posters changed their opinion of this whole thing now that you've found inconsistencies in the story.

 

I knew it was bull regardless.

 

So did I. I knew it was fishy from post 1

[Nevermind]

I wear dresses a lot. Even if I don't go anywhere. Dresses can be casual, without being flirty. Actually, most reborn christian women tend to only wear dresses, out of modesty.

 

The clothing has nothing to do with it. Unless it is an ultra-mini, it doesn't say anything about her intention.

[Lookingforward]

Nobody in this day and age wears a dress simply to go watch a DVD at someone's house. A party, maybe, but to watch a movie with a guy that she knew wanted her? Sorry, its a little too obvious.

 

She wanted to provide this guy easy access in case something went down. She knew what she was doing.

 

sorry guy, we must run in different circles - I still wear dresses ALL the time for all sorts of things, and it IS summer dresses are a hell of a lot cooler usually

[bish]

I wear dresses a lot. Even if I don't go anywhere. Dresses can be casual, without being flirty. Actually, most reborn christian women tend to only wear dresses, out of modesty.

 

She obviously wasn't the modest type.

 

 

The clothing has nothing to do with it. Unless it is an ultra-mini, it doesn't say anything about her intention.

 

It sure does in conjunction with all the other things that transpired.

 

I'm not saying wearing a dress means a woman has intentions of getting laid. but in this case......I am saying that.

 

And this husband, if he knew this "friend" wanted her, and we don't know one way or the other, he would have been well within reason to tell her it is not appropriate that she hangs out with him.

[bish]

sorry guy, we must run in different circles - I still wear dresses ALL the time for all sorts of things, and it IS summer dresses are a hell of a lot cooler usually

 

read what I posted above

[Lookingforward]

I still go back to my original responses........ a. she sounds REALLY lame, and b. if it's rape it's not cheating and the title was "I cheated today", not "I was raped today" - so interesting that only came up half way through the thread........

[Nevermind]

I don't know. Many women would rather rationalise a rape instead of dealing with it, especially date rape. (And this is a kind of date rape situation.) Shifting the focus to the aspect of cheating could just be a sign of a confused mind. I for one won't judge what was or wasn't done by the OP or her friend.

 

In both situations, the husband needs to be told. She has to get a test for STDs and they both might need counceling. The friend has to be shut out of their lives, as well as his sister.

[Lookingforward]

I don't know. Many women would rather rationalise a rape instead of dealing with it, especially date rape. (And this is a kind of date rape situation.) Shifting the focus to the aspect of cheating could just be a sign of a confused mind. I for one won't judge what was or wasn't done by the OP or her friend.

 

In both situations, the husband needs to be told. She has to get a test for STDs and they both might need counceling. The friend has to be shut out of their lives, as well as his sister.

 

Sorry nm, but no-one I know would mistake "I was raped" for "I cheated"

[bish]

I still go back to my original responses........ a. she sounds REALLY lame, and b. if it's rape it's not cheating and the title was "I cheated today", not "I was raped today" - so interesting that only came up half way through the thread........

 

She wasn't the one that said it was rape. I, along with another poster, put the assertion out there because she all of a sudden decided to throw in that she was passed out.

 

I asked her which it was, rape, or consensual. If it isn't one, it has to be the other and I wanted her to clarify it.

 

But she said before that she knew what was going on, but only after he entered her did it hit her that it wasn't appropriate.

 

Ya right.

[bish]

Sorry nm, but no-one I know would mistake "I was raped" for "I cheated"

 

I agree.......

[Nevermind]

I didn't say that she mistook it. I say that she was too shocked to deal with it. People chose to deal with things they can versus things they can't deal with.

 

Look, I agree that it sounds strange and the drinks change is more than fishy, but there is a (small) chance that the things that don't fit are owned to a shock instead of deceive.

 

It basically doesn't change what needs to be done:

 

Tell the husband. Get rid of the friend. Make a therapy.

[dazed.1]

I wear dresses a lot. Even if I don't go anywhere. Dresses can be casual, without being flirty. Actually, most reborn christian women tend to only wear dresses, out of modesty.

 

The clothing has nothing to do with it. Unless it is an ultra-mini, it doesn't say anything about her intention.

 

 

I don't think many "born again christian women" are out drinking , lifting their skirts over their head for men who are NOt their husband!

 

I am a woman, and I love wearing dresses, but I also there is a time and a place. I know that when I am out without my boyfriend I dress more modestly because I am not trying to give the wrong impression. Not saying that dressing a certain way gives a man free reign to do what he wishes, but it certainly attests to HER frame of mine, in my opinion.

 

Also, you should telly our husband, marrige is sacred and you broke that, he has the right to decide to be with you after you broke that trust. Do the right thing here. How you you want to be treated in his situation?

[blondiepants]

If he did, in fact, just "slip it in" when her back was turned, that is DEFINITELY rape.

 

But she is not being clear about the events that led up to it. No one can make the rape accusation since we don't really know what is going on. I have a feeling that there are parts of her story that we aren't hearing. She got drunk at a guy's house who we KNOW was into her, fell asleep in a bedroom (I tend to think that it was HIS bedroom and she is leaving that part out), dressed up looking cute, blah blah blah. I think she's leaving the part out that goes "we kissed and then all of a sudden he was inside of me"

 

Maybe I'm wrong, but based on her posts I don't think this was rape.

[soda]

I think she cheated and an attack of conscience hit her mid-act.

 

I don't know. She shows up in a dress for a DVD at the guy's house. At the very least, she craved the guy's attention.

 

If I had a female friend who I was certain "wanted me" despite the fact that I'm married, I would never go to her home without my wife. In fact, it would be a deal breaker in the friendship. There had to be events leading up to this that OP should have confronted or run away from. One does not just assume, without some trigger, that every friend "wants him/her" unless he/she is narcisstic.

 

She admitted to cheating. I think she would take the whole thing back if she could. But the problem is that it only take a few moments to destroy every shred of trust that a person has built over a lifetime.

 

Seems like a silly trade. I'd rather go through life letting "opportunities" pass me by than be remembered as an ass.

 

Why does it happen so often?

[woods321]

The sad thing is a LARGE amount of reported rapes , (some estimates range up to 40%) are false reports.

 

The woman cheated, feels guilty, gets caught, etc then makes it sound like a rape occurred.

 

Thats why I think when so many of the women on this thread are throwing around the "Rape" word you are just lessening what that word really means.

 

Ladies, answer this.. Is this a double standard again?

 

Lets say I am drinking with a female I go to her house. We fool around. I pass out. We are in the same bed.

 

I wake up and she is on top of me.

 

Should she get 15 to 20 years for rape? I never consented, and I push her off, but I cant get her off right away. Would you be as sympathetic?