Leikela Posted July 19, 2008 Share Posted July 19, 2008 Ok, I'm really upset right now. My husband rarely has anything good to say about me. He says I suck at singing and that I'm just decent a piano and that is about it. He was making fun of me earlier calling me a loser. This really hurts me deeply. Shouldn't my husband be encouraging me and not insulting me? This really has me on the edge. I really feel like leaving right about now. Am I just over reacting? Link to post Share on other sites
Lyssa Posted July 19, 2008 Share Posted July 19, 2008 Has it always been like that between you and your H? I don't think that's how a H should talk to his W. My brothers have always been supportive of their Ws and even if there was something that either one is not good at, they will say something in a nice way. They don't put their Ws down. That is for sure, not the way to encourage your partner. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leikela Posted July 19, 2008 Author Share Posted July 19, 2008 Has it always been like that between you and your H? No, it hasn't. It has been a pattern just recently. I have always been artisitic, like into music, writing, singing etc but lately I have been getting back into it. It is something I thrive on, yet no support from the hubby. Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted July 19, 2008 Share Posted July 19, 2008 what is he so insecure about? He sounds as if he feels threatened by something..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leikela Posted July 19, 2008 Author Share Posted July 19, 2008 what is he so insecure about? He sounds as if he feels threatened by something..... I know, I agree with this. I have no idea what he would be so insecure about. I play 4 instruments, sing, write poetry, etc... I am also athletic as well. He's really not talented in any area like this but he tries. I don't rub it in his face either. Could it be that he's actually jealous? But why? I want a man to support me in what I do, not fight me and insult me on it. Link to post Share on other sites
GPFan Posted July 19, 2008 Share Posted July 19, 2008 I know, I agree with this. I have no idea what he would be so insecure about. I play 4 instruments, sing, write poetry, etc... I am also athletic as well. He's really not talented in any area like this but he tries. I don't rub it in his face either. Could it be that he's actually jealous? But why? I want a man to support me in what I do, not fight me and insult me on it.He is jealous and sure you will outshine/are outshining him. Of course, his true fear is that you will leave him. Ignore his comments or giggle at them. Occasionally remind him how much you love him and are looking forward to a life together. He is behaving as a brat. Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmasMuse Posted July 19, 2008 Share Posted July 19, 2008 No, its not something a husband should be saying. I agree with GPFan too, it could be he feels some jealousy or even threatned because maybe you do have some talent and he doesn't want you to know for fear you might pursue something and leave him. Has there been anything else going on with himlately other than him saying those things? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 19, 2008 Share Posted July 19, 2008 How does he say it to you? In a joking way or in a rude way? What's his tone and body language during this. You know you're good so don't let him ruin it for you. Let him think what he wants. He is acting like a baby so the best way to handle it is either ignore him when he says stuff like that or come right out and TELL him you think he's jealous and acting like a spoiled jealous brat. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted July 19, 2008 Share Posted July 19, 2008 Ok, I'm really upset right now. My husband rarely has anything good to say about me. He says I suck at singing and that I'm just decent a piano and that is about it. He was making fun of me earlier calling me a loser. This really hurts me deeply. Shouldn't my husband be encouraging me and not insulting me? This really has me on the edge. I really feel like leaving right about now. Am I just over reacting? Here's what will make him stop: when he tells you things like that.. just answer this: Well now that you're talking about things we suck.. I have to admit that you suck in bed... Take a pic of his face... Remind him of things he sucks in.. simple.. Link to post Share on other sites
imagine Posted July 19, 2008 Share Posted July 19, 2008 Are you maybe trying to blow your own trumpet too many time in front of him? I guess I would also do the same if I thought my other half was getting too vain. There is also a case for "terms of endearment", for example I kid around with my nine year old son and call him "loser" while wrestling with him. He knows that I'm just kidding and he will call me something like "fart bag" - bless him. If not these ... is there any other possible reason for resentment, like for instance, taking up intimacy time? My very good lady hates my spending time on my poetry rather than be with her... Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted July 19, 2008 Share Posted July 19, 2008 sounds like a case of resentment and jealousy. Possibly based in insecurity, especially if he wasn't like this before. talk to him, and ask if he's worried or upset that what you're doing is gonna take you away from him somehow – I know this can sometimes happen when a partner (or a child) feels left out, and the only way they can verbalize is by being negative. Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted July 20, 2008 Share Posted July 20, 2008 That certainly explains why you've never been married! Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted July 20, 2008 Share Posted July 20, 2008 who, me? just thinking back to the period when DH returned from a gig in Saudi Arabia and my job had me keeping some long hours and he was VERY insecure about it, when he normally had been proud of the fact that I was able to land a reporting job as soon as I started looking back into it. Link to post Share on other sites
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