Should I wait or make a decision for myself and my daughter to move on with our life?

[plainjane]

I'm 24, He's 23. We have a one year old daughter and we have been together for four years.

 

We broke up two months ago over an argument we had and he hasn't come back home since. He says that he wants to come back home when he feels like it and that it should be his choice, and also that I should wait and not be so impatient.

 

Its been two months and nothing really has changed much. I don't see him coming home anytime soon. Should I wait or make a decision for myself and my daughter to move on with our life?

[Tony T]

Do you really want a partner who abandons you and his daughter for two months plus over an argument that should have been resolved? You need to find his butt and get this straightened out. When two people have a child together, behavior has to be more responsible than this. He is acting like a child himself.

[cindy0039]

plainjane - I agree with Tony's advice on what to do about your boyfriend. If he's unwilling to work with you on a resolution to your problems, definitely move on for your own sake. But make sure you try your best to work out an amicable situation concerning visitation for your daughter and NEVER resort to fighting and bad-mouthing the other parent around her. It is extremely harmful to children.

[plainjane]

Thank You all for your advice

 

I kind of knew in my heart what I needed to do but needed a little reassurance.

 

We talked today and he keeps saying that he still needs time to make this decision and its been two months already and we've been up and down on this topic since.

 

I too think he's acting like a child and I'm very disappointed in his behavior. I never saw this coming. But I'm glad to know that I'm not being unreasonable when I ask him to come home or I'm moving on.

 

Thanks again

[yes]

totally reasonable!

 

it'd terrible for the baby to see daddy leave for that long, then come back, then leave again (who knows?) - just an unhealthy mess. i think that once he moved out, that was it - you're moving on.

 

time-outs aren't fair once you're in as deep as children, i believe (not that I have kids myself).

 

best of luck,

-yes