stoiccalm Posted August 3, 2003 Share Posted August 3, 2003 About a month and a half ago I was on a night out with a group of friends and when the evening ended we (including my best female friend Kat) all went back to my house. We were very drunkenly playing hide and seek all over the house, and while running from the 'seeker' Kat and I ended up in the same hiding place. I'n not quite sure how, but we ended up kissing passionately, and that night we slept together. However, when I woke in the morning she was gone. I didn't see her until school the next day, and couldn't contact her on her phone. I really wanted to talk to her, to tell her that I finally worked out (after months of the feeling growing below the surface) that I cared about her romantically, but when we did see each other she acted like last night hadn't meant anything very significant. Kat's a very sexual person (having been her confidant through several relationships, I know this pretty well) and she's talked about being horny before, and being driven near crazy by lack of sex - we've joked about her having the hormones of a teenage boy. Eventually I managed to talk to her, and she said she didn't feel anything towards me romantically, but that she'd had an amazing night, and was interested in doing it again. Currently we're in a situation of friends-with-benefits; the sex is amazing but I want so much more from her than this. We touch on the subject occaisonally, and she says she's sorry, she doesn't feel the same but we shouldn't let that wreck the good thing we've got going on. To complicate it even more, the one mutual friend who knows what's going on has talked to Kat about it, and she thinks that maybe Kat's not being honest about how she feels - she's always been scared about caring about people and this has been the reason for some of her past breakups: she'll go out with someone for a while then as soon as they get close emotionally, she'll end it. Or at least that's my interpretation of the situations. Continuing to sleep with her is torturing me - being so close to her but it meaning nothing to her - but I don't want to give it up because it feels so good. I keep hoping that she'll feel differently, but meanwhile I'm feeling worse and worse: this is destroying me. Woa - painful-honesty-overload. Can anyone advise me what to do - I feel like I'm going to go crazy. Alex, 17, England Link to post Share on other sites
jalexy Posted August 3, 2003 Share Posted August 3, 2003 I think you need to stop sleeping with her. you might even have to end the friendship. you are still so young, you will meet many new friends in your future and at university. i am sorry you are getting hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
centex Posted August 16, 2003 Share Posted August 16, 2003 Alex, When I was 17 I had a similar relationship with a girl who acted the same way. It is safe to say you are being used for the sex partner. She is a nympho (my opinion based on experience) and as long as you give it, she will take it and move on to the next giver when she feels the need arise. The downside is this will more than likely not be you but someone else. If however it is that good and you can somehow manage to accept it for what it is (sex) as she does knock yourself out. Be very careful if you choose to go with the flow however, it can have long lasting effects emotionally and possibly with other relationships in the future if you cannot manage it. My advice would be to move on and let her do her thing. She will do it anyway regardless. This will just make things harder for you to deal with. Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
anndorra Posted August 16, 2003 Share Posted August 16, 2003 you are the person youre friend talks too so you kinda understand how she works. what do you think? if you think she has feelings she may come around when she decides she is compfortable and that you will not hurt her. do not end the friendship!!! that is a compleatly closed minded option. just enjoy youre self, with someone you care about. relax. you two are friends so you obviously spend time togather . and its physical. so what more do you want? a title? is it needed? if you think she dose have feelings dose she have to really say it? do youre best to calm any fears she has and just be there. and if it dosent turn out romantically. youre yung and have lots of time. and this will be a memory of spending time with someone you care for. Link to post Share on other sites
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