New member strange situation

[MaNg0s]

Hi I am new to this forum and in need of some advice. Well just some background information I was with probably the love of my life a few months ago but it ended after 6 years of being together. When it ended I was a mess couldn't sleep I would drink a lot and turned to drugs for comfort which looking back on now was not the right thing to do. More importantly it has given me some trust issues with girls. A week ago this girl who I saw at college from time to time added me on facebook.

 

Now this girl was someone I always wanted to approach as she was very pretty but I couldn't as I was in a relationship and too shy lol. Then she messaged me added me on msn then we started talking by the end of the night I built up the courage to ask for her number she asked me to call her that night. We got along well then she asked me if we could meet the next day. I said yeah sure. We met at a park in the evening and we just sat on the grass and spoke for about 4 hours then she kissed me.

 

I got home and was in a great mood and rang her we spoke then the next day we met up again at the park and then again the next day lol. On the third time we met we made out alot and there was some touching involved. Anyways I invited her to come to my house not for sex but just to chill and watch a movie and cuddle cause I am one of those guys that loves to just cuddle and kiss and stuff. She said ok but then backed out at the last minuite said she didn't feel comfortable with me yet I understood her desicion and let it go. Then I invited her again and she came round this was yesterday lol.

 

It was fun we spoke fooled around and just had fun. We spent around 8 hours together last night and it was amazing I was happy again. I suffer from depression so it was just a real treat to feel happy again. So anyways one thing was annoying me the fact that I did not know where I stood with this girl whether we were bf and gf or what its just easier for me to know where I stand so I know what to do in the relationship and how to act. So I asked her when she called me to tell me she got home safe she said that she didn't want to rush anything and that she has been hurt in the past. I was annoyed but understood. How do I handle this ?? I feel like she is just using me and is not even looking for a relationship and it is frustrating me. She also has invited me to come round her house tomorrow night but I think she wants to have sex.

[tanbark813]

So I asked her when she called me to tell me she got home safe she said that she didn't want to rush anything and that she has been hurt in the past. I was annoyed but understood. How do I handle this ??

 

Play it cool and don't be in a rush to make things exclusive or define the relationship. You've only been seeing her for a week.

 

I feel like she is just using me and is not even looking for a relationship and it is frustrating me.

 

It's possible but it sounds unlikely from what you've posted. It may or may not result in a relationship but you can at least enjoy things for the time being. Why are you frustrated? You should focus on the positive, IMO.

 

She also has invited me to come round her house tomorrow night but I think she wants to have sex.

 

THAT BITCH! It's a good thing if she wants to have sex with you, bro.

[MaNg0s]

Play it cool and don't be in a rush to make things exclusive or define the relationship. You've only been seeing her for a week.

 

 

 

It's possible but it sounds unlikely from what you've posted. It may or may not result in a relationship but you can at least enjoy things for the time being. Why are you frustrated? You should focus on the positive, IMO.

 

 

 

THAT BITCH! It's a good thing if she wants to have sex with you, bro.

LOL ty for your advice. Now course I am not upset that she wants to do it but just confused as she said she didnt want to rush things thats all.

[tanbark813]

LOL ty for your advice. Now course I am not upset that she wants to do it but just confused as she said she didnt want to rush things thats all.

 

There are certain things girls say that are said more for making themselves feel comfortable than for actually giving concrete direction on how things should proceed. The "I don't want to rush things" is a good example. Another common one is "I've never done this before."

 

What she's really saying is, "I don't want you to think I'm a slut and I don't want to be pressured."

 

Like I said, just play it cool and you're good to go.

[MaNg0s]

There are certain things girls say that are said more for making themselves feel comfortable than for actually giving concrete direction on how things should proceed. The "I don't want to rush things" is a good example. Another common one is "I've never done this before."

 

What she's really saying is, "I don't want you to think I'm a slut and I don't want to be pressured."

 

Like I said, just play it cool and you're good to go.

LOL dude ty lol its soo ****ing true u know ur **** lol ty.

[Chinook]

From a girl's perspective...

 

I doubt she's using you. Girls don't tend to put in all that effort just for sex. I would imagine she's investing in you, just as much as you are her. The thing with 'take it slow' isn't about the sex, it's about the whole relationship not crashing and burning. It sounds to me like she knows herself pretty well and may in fact be giving you a warning to take it easy with things, play it a little cool - but not too much. That is, give her a chance to get hooked. Girls tend to take a little longer than guys getting hooked. If I were you, I'd guard my heart a little while longer... especially as you know you're likely to succumb to depression if it goes pear-shaped. Other than these little pointers, it sounds to me like you guys are having fun.

[imagine]

I would listen to Chinook!