where I'm at

[dharris27]

Okay. We broke up eight months ago. He started dating a new girl about a couple months afterwards. I found out they are moving in together today. When i broke up with him we got back together for a while, and well, he asked me to move in with him...but i knew i couldn't i knew i wouldn't be able to accept him (moods, anxiety, kind of mean). But now, just eight months later with a girl he barely knew he is living with her.

 

We dated for two years starting when i was 21 and he was 23. She's about 31 and he's 25. Anyway, it's real. It's more real today than it was any day because i know what's happening with them

 

I miss him. I can't lie. I always will. I always knew we weren't meant to be as a couple but he was obsessed that we were. I broke up with him. I didn't meet someone until recently that i liked. I do like him a lot. But i still talk about my ex with my friends...the new friends i have. I talk about it because we all exist in the same community and well, i feel like it's always been so surreal to see him all the time and barely talk. And to know how intense our connection was...and then to know it just isn't.

 

I'm excited about this new guy. Things are changing and moving. I haven't cried in a couple months. (He kept contact with me for a long time afterwards so i never really mourned until about five months afterwards).

 

It's all so weird. It's surreal. We broke up and got back together a few times so it really has taken me forever to realize he'd never come back.

 

I should feel free. I'm embarassed I still talk about him though...although i talk about the new guy too and i talk about the ex in a more council type of way rather than "i need him."

 

I hope i'm moving on. Does anyone else get embarassed they still talk about thier ex sometimes? It just seems so relevant when on the topic of men and I'm out with the ladies. Anyway. I pray i can handle this all really well. Knowing they'll be living down the street from me and we have the same friends. I hope this will feel right.

 

p.s. we talked for the first time in person the other night and well, he was super nice and nervous and laughed at my jokes and it just felt normal. I actually had the balls to do it though - initiate contact.

 

I'm so close to being over this...i really hope anyway. Thank you all for your help.