Author confused and broken Posted July 23, 2008 Author Share Posted July 23, 2008 That's kind of the key isn't it. You have to ask yourself, what is the point of contacting them? To ease the pain in your heart of not hearing from them? Contacting them is not going to ease anything, except maybe provide a few hours of relief until reality sets back in. The problem for me is moving past that instant gratification.... When the pain becomes intense I want something to relieve it even if it's only for a second.... Link to post Share on other sites
roghornio Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Hopefully by the time she decides to contact you... you will have moved on with your life to a point where it feels like a joke to you too... good luck Part of me hopes you’re right, and the other you’re not. What I mean is I wouldn’t want it to end up like that… Becoming strangers with someone you cared about just doesn’t seem right. I think if any of my Exs got in touch – dumpers or not, I would always be interested in what they were up to. They have all been interesting people, who I not only got along with but had an intimate bond with… of course I will always be interested in them. I speak to my my ex, ex, ex (who dumped me) now and again even though she is travelling the world with her now boy friend. And my ex, ex (who I dumped) I spent Friday night, 2 weeks ago with getting drunk with (wich was fun, I forgot how fun she is)… Don’t speak to my first girlfriend at all (don’t think she would want to talk to me!), the one after that I dated for 8 months (I dumped), I speak to if she ever comes on msn cause she moved country and she was well cool person… So I would hope that I can keep up with this one. But I won’t be making that move for a long time- that's if she doesnt get in touch first (only once I leave this country, wich is soon!)... I guess time will tell how it pan's out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author confused and broken Posted July 23, 2008 Author Share Posted July 23, 2008 Part of me hopes you’re right, and the other you’re not. What I mean is I wouldn’t want it to end up like that… Becoming strangers with someone you cared about just doesn’t seem right. I think if any of my Exs got in touch – dumpers or not, I would always be interested in what they were up to. They have all been interesting people, who I not only got along with but had an intimate bond with… of course I will always be interested in them. I speak to my my ex, ex, ex (who dumped me) now and again even though she is travelling the world with her now boy friend. And my ex, ex (who I dumped) I spent Friday night, 2 weeks ago with getting drunk with (wich was fun, I forgot how fun she is)… Don’t speak to my first girlfriend at all (don’t think she would want to talk to me!), the one after that I dated for 8 months (I dumped), I speak to if she ever comes on msn cause she moved country and she was well cool person… So I would hope that I can keep up with this one. But I won’t be making that move for a long time- that's if she doesnt get in touch first (only once I leave this country, wich is soon!)... I guess time will tell how it pan's out. When you see your ex, ex and get drunk with her.... isn't there any sexual tension... how do you keep it at a friendship level??? Link to post Share on other sites
roghornio Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Cause that’s all we are now. Friends. She was telling me about the guys she had dated since, and I was telling her about what I had been up to. I handt physically seen her in almost a year. But nah, we both know what’s what, and we both moved on so it’s cool. In fact we talk maybe once a week (usually on msn). In fact she was saying she wants to get back with her ex (the guy before me) and what she should do about. Didnt feel weird at all actually talking bout it. I think we were more friends than lovers looking back on our relationship. Was good times, but by the end i just didnt fancy her anymore. Which was around the time i met the last one! We both completely moved on – she’s an outrageous flirt anyways so it comes with the territory. It did cross my mind when I was really drunk that I could very easily (she has an AMAZING body and is very pretty) do something I might regret but I didn’t – thank god LOL. Link to post Share on other sites
critter909 Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Confused- I talk to my ex ex too. I have gotten drunk with him, had him try to pick up other girls while he was with me and it has been totally ok. I have no jealousy, we are just friends. There is a kind of cool familiarity between us when we are together, we've seen each other's naughty bits My recent ex though- I don't know if him and I can be friends. Probably not. The relationship was too serious. I will be on friendly terms when we see/contact each other but most likely not friends. I don't know though, time will tell. Link to post Share on other sites
northstar1 Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 The problem for me is moving past that instant gratification.... When the pain becomes intense I want something to relieve it even if it's only for a second.... Oh trust me I know. I want to text my ex at this very moment, just with the hope she'll reply and give me a hit of that narcoticlike attention. But what stops me? The fact I've done the merry-go-round of text/reply/email/reply and the positive effect of hearing from them lasts a little less each time, as you realize it's futile. And each time I respond/hear from them, I feel good for a few hours, then I feel crappy for days/weeks. Link to post Share on other sites
Author confused and broken Posted July 23, 2008 Author Share Posted July 23, 2008 Oh trust me I know. I want to text my ex at this very moment, just with the hope she'll reply and give me a hit of that narcoticlike attention. But what stops me? The fact I've done the merry-go-round of text/reply/email/reply and the positive effect of hearing from them lasts a little less each time, as you realize it's futile. And each time I respond/hear from them, I feel good for a few hours, then I feel crappy for days/weeks. lol...it's totally like fighting a addiction... Link to post Share on other sites
Author confused and broken Posted July 23, 2008 Author Share Posted July 23, 2008 Confused- I talk to my ex ex too. I have gotten drunk with him, had him try to pick up other girls while he was with me and it has been totally ok. I have no jealousy, we are just friends. There is a kind of cool familiarity between us when we are together, we've seen each other's naughty bits My recent ex though- I don't know if him and I can be friends. Probably not. The relationship was too serious. I will be on friendly terms when we see/contact each other but most likely not friends. I don't know though, time will tell. The problem I've had is that my ex will agree to be just friends... and then next thing you know he's putting the moves on me... I once said "is this how you treat all your buddies" and he replied "my buddies aren't as pretty as you" Honestly the only male friends I have in my life are coworkers... because I find that no other guys are capable... Damn I really wish he could be my friend... but we have already tried that... The next time he was like I feel for you more than just friends...I want to hold your hand .... I want to spend my life w/you... You are different than all the other girls... I've changed.......Everything I've always wanted to hear BUT do you think he had changed????..... NO! Link to post Share on other sites
critter909 Posted July 23, 2008 Share Posted July 23, 2008 Why do you want to be friends with him? It never works when one person wants more... Take a break from him. I didn't see my ex ex for probably a couple of years before we became friends. Why do you need him in your life right now? Link to post Share on other sites
Author confused and broken Posted July 23, 2008 Author Share Posted July 23, 2008 Why do you want to be friends with him? It never works when one person wants more... Take a break from him. I didn't see my ex ex for probably a couple of years before we became friends. Why do you need him in your life right now? Good Question... He became one if my best friends and that is hard to replace I have that gap in my life right now... but hopefully I don't need him... I not only lost a BF I lost a friend...sucks Link to post Share on other sites
Author confused and broken Posted July 24, 2008 Author Share Posted July 24, 2008 I guess the big question is how exactly do you move on? And why do some people move on faster than others?? Link to post Share on other sites
borelandkaren Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 lol...it's totally like fighting a addiction... It's the loooovedruuuug!!!! :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
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