I cheated with my best friends brother

[phoebe99]

I have known my best friend and her family for years and they invited me to spend the weekend with them a couple of months when they were on holiday. I have been married for 8 years and the last few years have not been happy and I have been very unsettled. When I went away with my friend and her family, I got pretty drunk and slept with her brother. Everyone new about it the next day but they were ok about it saying that they new there had always been something between us. I left a couple of days later and arranged to contact my friends brother when he got back. We slept together again and felt really comfortable and happy with each other. The next day he phoned me and asked me to come over and said he couldn't deal with it because I am married and that we had to take a step back. I have been left in total turmoil as I really care for him and I can't stop thinking about him. I feel I have been blown off and am finding it hard to cope, any suggestions?

[bish]

I have known my best friend and her family for years and they invited me to spend the weekend with them a couple of months when they were on holiday. I have been married for 8 years and the last few years have not been happy and I have been very unsettled. When I went away with my friend and her family, I got pretty drunk and slept with her brother. Everyone new about it the next day but they were ok about it saying that they new there had always been something between us. I left a couple of days later and arranged to contact my friends brother when he got back. We slept together again and felt really comfortable and happy with each other. The next day he phoned me and asked me to come over and said he couldn't deal with it because I am married and that we had to take a step back. I have been left in total turmoil as I really care for him and I can't stop thinking about him. I feel I have been blown off and am finding it hard to cope, any suggestions?

 

So you cheat on your husband, I don't care what your excuse is, and now you feel "blown off".

 

Since you obviously don't mention your husband in this post and show now remorse about what you did to him, what is it you are looking for here? Coddling that you got blown off after cheating on your husband?

 

Question is, with the obvious feelings you have for this OM, and the total disregard for your H, when are you going to get a divorce?

[Stockalone]

thank you, thank you :-)

the whore should know she's a whore

i'm only trying to educate her.

 

Given that (hopefully) none of us is her husband, I don't think we have the right to talk to her that way.

 

If her husband decides to go ballistic if he ever finds out about her infidelity, that is his right. Not mine, not yours.

 

There is no need to lower yourself to such a level where you have to insult people, even if there actions are highly offensive.

[Shygirl15]

Well to be fair, what she did sure as hell didn't command respect by disrespecting her husband. But I agree, I have no respect for cheaters, especially when they don't show remorse, but what he said was over the top.

 

I didn't even get to that point just yet. My head was spinning from all these offensive remarks, I just couldn't read. He hasn't recovered from his Bozshe GF, I think.

______________________________________________

 

Phoebe, looks like you're more depressed that this guy doesn't want you anymore than the fact that you cheated on your husband. So what did you want to do, I mean did you plan to continue with the affair while still married to your HB? It's not fair to him, you know.

[Citizen Erased]

It amazes me how people think they can go on like this and not be banned. In the whole time i have been here i have never seen a post so revolting as johnsons. You are one of the many reasons why i stay out of this part of the forum. I wish you a life full of disappointment and loneliness, i think you are up to the task.

[Stockalone]

He might not have the right to speak to her with such contempt, but he did and it was funny.

 

He's a good egg really, he's just standing up for his fellow brother. Women stick up for each other, so why can't men?

 

I don't mind men standing up for each other but I don't believe that is the way to do that. What is important, is that the OP's husband learns of his wife's infidelity. No one deserves to be kept in the dark about something like this.

 

However, I am afraid that what little chance there was that the OP is going to do the right thing and tell her husband, is now gone after Johnson25's tandrum.

[carhill]

Mid 20's wanderlust.....best friend's brother....hmmm

 

Got any kids from that 8 year M?

 

What's your best friend's take on all this?

 

BTW, when you/they had cognitive awareness of something, you/they "knew" it. I mention this because of "new" being used in its place repetitively in the OP.

 

Personally, since apparently there has been something simmering between the brother and yourself for some time, I'd go ahead and get hubby up to speed and contact a lawyer to ascertain your legal rights and responsibilities. You made a mistake by acting on those feelings; now it's your job to take responsibility for your actions. It's not going to be easy. If you choose to D, I'd suggest some alone time to get your head straight.

 

Not to belabor the obvious, but you're not a "whore". Prostitutes get paid for sex. That's something totally different....

 

If you need advice or support going forward, there is plenty of that to be had here. Just read the archives if you don't want to post....

[Citizen Erased]

Citizen Erased is a rubbish, it's all about Knights of Cydonia.

 

Ugh starlighters.

[whichwayisup]

I have known my best friend and her family for years and they invited me to spend the weekend with them a couple of months when they were on holiday. I have been married for 8 years and the last few years have not been happy and I have been very unsettled. When I went away with my friend and her family, I got pretty drunk and slept with her brother. Everyone new about it the next day but they were ok about it saying that they new there had always been something between us. I left a couple of days later and arranged to contact my friends brother when he got back. We slept together again and felt really comfortable and happy with each other. The next day he phoned me and asked me to come over and said he couldn't deal with it because I am married and that we had to take a step back. I have been left in total turmoil as I really care for him and I can't stop thinking about him. I feel I have been blown off and am finding it hard to cope, any suggestions?

 

Before you do anything else - Think about your husband. Do you want to stay married to him? Do you feel like you should divorce? Cheating on your husband is not a good idea at all - Whatever problems you have in your marriage is NOT going to be solved by you cheating.

 

I am GLAD that your bestfriends brother has told you that he needs to take a step back. HE is thinking because he knows you're married and it's a mistake to help someone cheat on their spouse.

 

Focus on your husband first, either fix your marriage or divorce. If you divorce, THEN go date your BF's brother. Until then, stay away and leave him alone.

[Citizen Erased]

In fact I only Muse's latest album, there's most trendy one. Whatcha gonna do? Hell they are no PENDULUM.

 

Then it should all be about Take A Bow. KoC was ruined because of Guitar Hero IMO.

 

Pendulum suck.

[lkjh]

Oh come on it's not like she's a saint. What she's doing is a thousand times more hurtful than a few names and in all fairness if she's not a slut then what is she? She cheats on her husband while away with her bestfriends family and doesn't care that other people know and we are suppose to feel sorry for her because she's in a low part of her marriage. I bet her husband funded her trip to

[Citizen Erased]

Oh come on it's not like she's a saint. What she's doing is a thousand times more hurtful than a few names and in all fairness if she's not a slut then what is she? She cheats on her husband while away with her bestfriends family and doesn't care that other people know and we are suppose to feel sorry for her because she's in a low part of her marriage. I bet her husband funded her trip to

 

Her actions do not make it appropriate to call her a whore or a slut. Not on this forum. If anyone doesn't like that then don't come here. Quite simple really.

 

Newbies.

[Stockalone]

Its not my fault she's a whore.

Tell her to stop ****ing & sucking people whom she is not married too.

 

She deserves whatever she gets.

The whore is not even remorseful.

She's actually UPSET that the OM called it off.

 

She deserves no sympathy.

 

Do I feel sorry for her if her husband divorces her and other men won't date her because she cheated in the past? Certainly not, those are consequences when you cheat. I don't even believe that cheaters are good people who simply made a mistake.

 

But there is a difference between having no sympathy for her and demeaning her. And I think that the way you reacted to her posts was demeaning.

[lkjh]

Her actions do not make it appropriate to call her a whore or a slut. Not on this forum. If anyone doesn't like that then don't come here. Quite simple really.

 

Newbies.

 

Why not? Isn't it only natural to judge people by their actions or do we live in such a P.C. culture that this is no longer the case? If you don't like these comments than close your ears to them because everyone is entitled to their opinion as long as they are obeying the laws. You are correct it is quite simple

[lkjh]

Im sorry but a few dirty names isn't that bad considering her actions, in some cultures they would carry out far more extreme measures

[Citizen Erased]

Actually lkjh, the terms of your mebership here means everyone has to stick with the guidelines http://www.loveshack.org/forums/guidelines/ I think the part about personal attacks has been violated numerous times by that delightful poster.

 

"Personal attacks against other participants will not be tolerated under any circumstances. We define personal attacks as posted comments which are intended to provoke, demean, or ridicule another participant. It is inevitable that members will sometimes disagree in their responses to any given problem, and LoveShack.org encourages healthy debate comprised of constructive questions and criticisms, so long as they pertain to the post and thread at hand. Personal dislike of another member has no place in any post, on any thread.

 

you damn whore

keep your legs closed or divorce your husband your slut

if your so un-happy leave the man

 

Or, just go look in the mirror, tell yourself your a whore, then wear something really sexy & live out your fantasy with your best friend.

 

go to him, tell him to take off his pants & give him a blow job.

 

damn whore, i wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire.

 

you seem to forget that your married, then again your a whore so you probably can't help youself.

 

ok i'll stop being immature, but in all honesty,

you really need to not POST on a internet website about your problems, you need to go talk to your husband, this is your life to live & if your husband finds out, your marriage is finished.

 

you need to choose what you want from life & who you want to be with, it seems your bestfriend has more decentcy than you, as you clearly feel no remorse, oh yeah "i'm not happy" you've probably cheated in the past.

 

damn whore, i feel pitty for you, learn how to communicate with your partner or divorce the man. u sound selfish too. do u have low self-esteem?

 

you probably fooled your husband, he probably doesn't even know anything is wrong. u probably keep all your problems hidden & locked up inside of you, you have some issues you need to resolve.

 

good luck in life, i'm glad your not my wife. I might have to murder you if I found out.

 

all i can say is, your being very stupid right now, your not thinking clearly. Your marriage will be finished, you will be kicked out of your home, do you work? do you have a job? who will support you? thats all gone, all because your a whore.

 

you really need to figure out if what your doing is worth it, like really sit down think things through.

 

later whore, try not to suck other people's cocks in between posting on this forum.

 

You silly whore. You don't even mind being a whore. LOL I am 100% certain now you've cheated in the past, you feel no remorse. LOL wow, you slut bag, I wonder if you like sucking cock. I think you do.

 

In all honesty, I'll help you out as you clearly don't think you did anything wrong.

 

1) Tell your husband

a) he will either divorce you

b) if he is still in love with you, you can work it out, but by him doing this, it will give you the green light to contiune to cheat on him, atleast you know you have him by the balls.

c) the problem though is your friend, he seems to have morals, something you clearly do not posses.

 

It seems your friend is to good for you, I don't know if he would start a relationship with you though, he will probably feel bad for breaking up the marriage.

 

Whore, I think your ****ed either route you take, If i was you though, I would get out of that marriage. You should feel a little bad & if you don't, it means you are truely unhappy, your husband will probably be devistated though, atleast don't tell him about the cheating, spear him.

 

But before you go, make sure you are taken care of finicially.

 

I don't know what to tell you, except your a whore, they should brand the big W on your forehead, lol this is funny, a whore comes online & seeks advise. I didn't know whores knows how to read.

 

Seriously though, do you see what you have done?

Once the love fades from your husband, thats how you will be viewed.

He will hate you. You two will become strangers.

Is this what you want?

No one can tell you what to do, you have to deciede for yourself.

 

PS, I have a big penis, would u like to see it whore?

Your image is going to be finished, hopefully you are not in the same social circle as your husband or else your ****ed.

 

thank you, thank you :-)

the whore should know she's a whore

i'm only trying to educate her.

 

I don't know whats wrong with cheaters.

Its one thing to have a one night stand, but to have a continuous affair is something totattly different.

 

This whore is having an affair, then gets upset when the guy she's having an affair with feels guilty.

 

I mean something is wrong with this whore, I think she needs to go to marriage counseling or something.

 

Hey whore, please go talk to your husband instead of letting other people's cock inside of you, you can only run from the problem for so long eventually it will all come crashing down in your face. Sooner or later.

 

I do not believed I have lowered myself to such a level where I would have to insult a particular person. Granted I am not her husband nor do I wish to be however, the whore already lowered herself. The whore already disrespected herself.

 

I will not be understanding, she is a whore. The whore should be spoken to in such a manner so she can understand. If the whore was not a whore, then the whore would not be on this forum pining about the OM who no longer wants to be with her due to the fact he has morals and feels guilty.

 

She is no longer a person, she is a whore, the whore can get spoken to any which way. The whore needs to realize what she is doing is wrong. The whore needs to stop being a whore then she would not be disrespected. The whore already disrespected herself. I will not be understanding to her situation, there are certain things one's wife should & should not do. Letting someone else **** her is certainly not in the "OK to do list"

 

In conclusion, I feel it necessary to speak to a child as a child, a adult as an adult, a whore as a whore. In this case, my tone, my words are all directed at the whore, this is how whores get treated. They deserve no respect. Especially once who do not feel remorse about her actions.

 

The whore deserves every insult one should throw at her, she's a whore. She's scum. Despite the circumstances, that is what she is. I am sorry if I offended anyone, however the whore is no longer a person. The whore is now a whore.

 

I realize I may have allieinated anyone whom was on my side previously in regards to me bashing the whore with this out of the ball park response, however she is a whore. No longer a female, no longer a person, just a whore & should be treated in that manner.

 

Listen whore, you are now downgraded in the eyes of society, stop being a whore, go make your marriage work or get out of it.

 

You are going to cause GREAT harm to your husband, he will be severly hurt, he will be devisated, he will hate you. You will ruiun his life by your actions and inability to communicate effectively with your life partner.

 

The path you have chosen is not a good one, however it is clear you have made your choice. You no longer want to be with your husband, you desire your best friend however the problem still remains that you are married and supposely in a committed relationship. There is a even bigger issue here as you don't feel guilt or remorse. You love your best friend huh? Nothing for you to feel bad about however your husband loves you.

 

I have no respect for you, you are the scum of the earth, I bet your going to go home, lie in bed with your husband, kiss him good night & pretend as if you did nothing wrong.

 

You disgust me.

 

Its not my fault she's a whore.

Tell her to stop ****ing & sucking people whom she is not married too.

 

She deserves whatever she gets.

The whore is not even remorseful.

She's actually UPSET that the OM called it off.

 

She deserves no sympathy.

 

Hmn...most people have been banned from here for a whole lot less. I can only wonder why this case is different.

 

Oh and:

1. A whore exchanges sex for money. At no point did the OP state the guy paid her.

2. Your and you're are different. Please use accordingly.

 

[2sunny]

as quoted earlier:

 

PS, I have a big penis

 

does this make a guy a big dick? seems so...

[Shygirl15]

Hmn...most people have been banned from here for a whole lot less. I can only wonder why this case is different.

 

Thank you.

 

Suprisingly, members/posts that have been banned were not even offensive, but just strongly expressed different opinions.

 

Strange.

[blondiepants]

But I can't help it. You should be ashamed of yourself. You have been married for 8 years, carry on an affair, and become upset that the man you're cheating on your husband with dumps you??

 

Umm, maybe I'm wrong, but shouldn't you be caring about your HUSBAND in this situation? Although clearly you have already shown a total lack of regard for your husband, so I guess why would you care now?

 

Get a divorce. Nobody deserves to be treated this way. And the brother was right for dumping you - doesn't seem like you are in a place where you should be in ONE relationship, let alone two.

[lkjh]

Actually lkjh, the terms of your mebership here means everyone has to stick with the guidelines http://www.loveshack.org/forums/guidelines/ I think the part about personal attacks has been violated numerous times by that delightful poster.

 

"Personal attacks against other participants will not be tolerated under any circumstances. We define personal attacks as posted comments which are intended to provoke, demean, or ridicule another participant. It is inevitable that members will sometimes disagree in their responses to any given problem, and LoveShack.org encourages healthy debate comprised of constructive questions and criticisms, so long as they pertain to the post and thread at hand. Personal dislike of another member has no place in any post, on any thread.

 

Oh no please don't get me kicked out because after all if I really wanted to join again it would be so hard to come up with a new email and user name, considering the fact that my current username is just four letters on the key board that hold no meaning what so ever. You must feel so powerful right now because you have the rules to LS memorized but thank you for your stern warning I promise I will lose sleep over it.

 

 

Hmn...most people have been banned from here for a whole lot less. I can only wonder why this case is different.

 

Oh and:

1. A whore exchanges sex for money. At no point did the OP state the guy paid her.

2. Your and you're are different. Please use accordingly.

 

 

By the way certain words in our vocabulary are ok to use outside of there actualy meaning and often are. This is called slang.

 

I am defending the person who used these words because I think that it is pathetic that we some posting about how she cheats on her husband and people are shocked that someone might use a bad word to describe her!! If this was a man saying he did these things to his wife I highly doubt anyone would have a problem with calling him names like Bastard, A-hole, and whatever else comes to mind

[lkjh]

2. Your and you're are different. Please use accordingly.

 

 

Did you honestly go through my post and look for typos in it. How much spare time can one person have in a day? I tell you what, I promise to put a lot of them in here just so you can have something to do tonight like this onE<--------

[bish]

I don't mind men standing up for each other but I don't believe that is the way to do that. What is important, is that the OP's husband learns of his wife's infidelity. No one deserves to be kept in the dark about something like this.

 

However, I am afraid that what little chance there was that the OP is going to do the right thing and tell her husband, is now gone after Johnson25's tandrum.

 

Her husband knows, however he is kept in the dark about just how little she cares for her husband. She cares more about the OM. Too bad the husband doesn't find out and puts her out with the morning trash.

[bish]

Her actions do not make it appropriate to call her a whore or a slut.

 

Well I'm not going to call her that, but I disagree with this statement.

[Citizen Erased]

For the record, I copied and pasted that, not memorised it. You know, from the link I posted. I am amazed that wasn't so easy to figure out.

 

By the way certain words in our vocabulary are ok to use outside of there actualy meaning and often are. This is called slang.

 

I am defending the person who used these words because I think that it is pathetic that we some posting about how she cheats on her husband and people are shocked that someone might use a bad word to describe her!! If this was a man saying he did these things to his wife I highly doubt anyone would have a problem with calling him names like Bastard, A-hole, and whatever else comes to mind

 

If this thread wasn't

 

2. Your and you're are different. Please use accordingly.

 

 

Did you honestly go through my post and look for typos in it. How much spare time can one person have in a day? I tell you what, I promise to put a lot of them in here just so you can have something to do tonight like this onE<--------

 

Actually I wasn't referring to you but to johnson25. It took about 2 seconds to notice the use of you, your and you're were not correct in his posts. You know, when I put all of the whores and sluts in bold.

[bish]

Hmn...most people have been banned from here for a whole lot less. I can only wonder why this case is different.

 

It isn't....his posts are gone.

 

And yes, infractions are given for much less and for some highly ridiculous reasons.

 

I was given infractions for sarcasm....SARCASM. No cussing, no personal attack, just plain old good sarcasm. Everyone on the board does it and it went unchecked. However I was singled out for it.

 

 

Oh and:

1. A whore exchanges sex for money. At no point did the OP state the guy paid her.

 

Actually if you read #3 of the Merriam-Webster description, it fits:

def: a venal or unscrupulous person

http://mw1.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/whore

 

It doesn't have to involve sex for money.