How do you get SELF CONFIDENCE....

[longlegzs80]

After looking back and seeing what kinds of posts and questions I post, I am starting to think there is something severly wrong with me. Anyways, I find that everything kinda revolves around self improvement and sexual stuff which I won't every get. But, I was just thinking about how people get self confidence. I see people who are radiating self confidence and sex appeal, and I was just curious as to what kinds of things can I do to get self confidence. If anyone can give me some helpful tips that would be great. Thank you.

 

Another thing, I just started this job at the mall and I have never done retail ever in my lifetime. Anyways, I see all these beautiful women who look naturally pretty, and have the kinds of bodies I only wish I could have. I wish I wasn't so selfish. But, I don't know why I think like this, but I just can't seem to accept myself. And I seem to get jeolous because they look better then me, pretty faces, nice shapes, etc. What is wrong with me, and no one tell me I am depressed. I already know that. I just need some helpful advice. Thank you.

[moimeme]

Do you admire people for things other than looks? For instance, do you admire people who run marathons or who help charities? If you want to feel good about yourself, be the sort of person you admire. If you admire honest people, be careful to always be honest. If you admire kind people, then be a kind person. Of course people should do this anyway, but if you develop your personality so that you are like people you admire, then you can be proud of yourself and that gives you confidence.

[my_mother's_daughter]

Also, from a practical perspective, when you notice that most women seem to be über attraktiv, then it's a direct result of your low self confidence, and then your self esteem makes matters work by allowing itself to notice ONLY the very attractive, cool, witty, sophisticates. One of life's age old vicious cycles. Give yourself a break, really concentrate on what makes you feel good, and do spend time on feeling happy about your physical attractiveness as well as emotional/spiritual development, as the way you are perceived physically appears to be important to you from what you say.

[jalexy]

you know this is a really good question.....i used to really have none, but somehow it has grown into something. i would suggest that you surround yourself with people that make you feel good about yourself. when you choose a male to date, make sure hes not a pervert and loves to look at other women a whole lot. you want one that makes you feel secure in yourself. i noticed my self esteem shot down when i just dated a dude that always looked at women (i couldnt even watch the beyonce video with him cause he would drool, but not obviously, you could just tell).

i would suggest that when you see other women that you are envious of, realize they have flaws too. these other women doubt themselves too.........and you know what? they are human just like you. so what if they look a different way? the main idea is that you are just like them, you have your own place in this world. you can achieve things and you are not just a physical body. just work on what you have, learn and know you can make a difference. good luck

[yes]

dig around inside yourself, make a list of what you like & dislike about yourself.

 

then see which of the dislikes can be fixed. then see which of the likes can be improved - it's always good to strengthen your strengths =)

 

somebody said "life becomes much easier once you get used to yourself"

 

2c,

-yes

[clia]

Self confidence comes from within. If you are self confident things other people do or say have no bearing on how you feel about yourself. Self confident girls don't care if their boyfriends are staring at other women because self confident girls know they are "all that." You cannot rely on other people to make you self confident. This is all about you.

 

But, I don't know why I think like this, but I just can't seem to accept myself.

 

Until you can accept yourself, you will never be self confident. There are many things you can do to feel better about yourself. Make sure you look good. If you don't like something about your appearance, change it. Do productive and useful things in your spare time, things you are proud of. If you aren't doing anything like that currently, start now.

 

Think about what you admire about the people you are jealous of. Emulate them. Act how they act. Do the things they do. Then see how you are feeling.

 

And I seem to get jeolous because they look better then me, pretty faces, nice shapes, etc.

 

There will always be people out there who look better than you. Everyone has some insecurities and complexes about things. So, just get used to that! But that doesn't mean you can't be self confident about yourself. Don't leave the house unless you are dressed nice and look good. Throwing on and old pair of jeans and a t-shirt to run to the grocery store may be easy, but you certainly aren't going to feel like you look great. This brings you down and makes you feel worse. (I mean, think about how great you feel when you get all dressed up for a night out? You feel good about yourself, right? You're thinking "Wow, my hair looks great tonight!") Be like that all the time. When you know you look good, you send out that vibe.

[jalexy]

I think something that helps is, also, as i think i said before....today i was at the gym and i saw a girl that looked really awesome...and i was like "wow she looks amazing" and then i said to myself "so do i".

it helps, and its gratifying to relate yourself as an equal.

[Carly]

Hi,

There is a great little paperback that has been around for a while and is still very popular: Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy, by David D. Burns. (I just saw it last week at Costco -- sure you could find it at any good bookstore)

 

Based on "cognitive therapy" by psychologist Aaron Beck, this book will help you pinpoint the negative thinking habits that can bring you into a funk.

 

Example of a common mistake: sometimes when people want to feel better about themselves, they compare themselves to others who they admire, but whom they could NEVER become. If you are short, don't compare yourself to tall women. If you are shy, don't try to become someone who is highly outgoing. If you are no good at science, don't covet some cool biologist. Emulate people whom you admire and who also have traits that are within your reach.

 

Similar to the advice already given in the previous posts, the trick to self-esteem is being your best at who YOU really are. I like the expression that says that the secret to happiness in life lies right under your pillow. This is a reminder that you don't have to search far to become happy with you are. In fact, you should never stray from who you really are.

 

Another thing that I have found along the way about self-esteem and happiness: The nicer you are to people, and the more you smile, the better you will feel about yourself. This includes the customers you serve throughout the day at your job. Another expression I like is, "Smile, and the whole world smiles with you."

 

Have a great day. And don't forget to pick up the book.

[huggable]

Originally posted by clia

Self confidence comes from within. If you are self confident things other people do or say have no bearing on how you feel about yourself. Self confident girls don't care if their boyfriends are staring at other women because self confident girls know they are "all that." You cannot rely on other people to make you self confident. This is all about you.

 

 

 

Until you can accept yourself, you will never be self confident. There are many things you can do to feel better about yourself. Make sure you look good. If you don't like something about your appearance, change it. Do productive and useful things in your spare time, things you are proud of. If you aren't doing anything like that currently, start now.

 

Think about what you admire about the people you are jealous of. Emulate them. Act how they act. Do the things they do. Then see how you are feeling.

 

 

 

There will always be people out there who look better than you. Everyone has some insecurities and complexes about things. So, just get used to that! But that doesn't mean you can't be self confident about yourself. Don't leave the house unless you are dressed nice and look good. Throwing on and old pair of jeans and a t-shirt to run to the grocery store may be easy, but you certainly aren't going to feel like you look great. This brings you down and makes you feel worse. (I mean, think about how great you feel when you get all dressed up for a night out? You feel good about yourself, right? You're thinking "Wow, my hair looks great tonight!") Be like that all the time. When you know you look good, you send out that vibe.

 

 

Self Confidence are within yourself girl.How to develop it? Is no other people could do it except yourself also.Do not be envious those woman who have pretty faces and in good shape.Each one is unique.The only problem of yours most probably is that you always comparing yourself to the other people. Just be yourself always is making yourself confident all the time.