Mino Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 Yes. It's a nice house, but if we do wind up living there, it's going to need a complete rework. All her old lady decorating and kitsch will have to go. She really has appalling taste - MM aside, but she dedicated her life to breaking down what he was to reconstruct him as something else anyway - and luckily MM and I have similar taste so we'd both be happy to have a huge bonfire before getting stuck in with paintbrushes and screwdrivers. I was struck the first time I went to the house by how invisible he was there. Everything - the furnishings, the decorating, the pictures, everything - was her. His stuff was crammed into his bedroom. Even the kids occupied more space - bedrooms, studies, landings, bathrooms. Friends who'd stayed with them had confirmed that, that he was like a lodger or a servant confined to his quarters, while she oozed out over the whole house. When he left, he bought all new stuff for his rented place, rather than taking anything from the house other than his clothes and personal effects, because there was literally nothing he wanted to take. The kids of brought their stuff across to the new place but they also didn't want to bring anything that would remind them of her. Hi OW, you moved into her house? Doesn't that feel kinda wierd... I donno, I know I wouldn't want that, it would be like living with a ghost...What made you decide to move there? kids not leaving the school district? Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 Hi OW, you moved into her house? Doesn't that feel kinda wierd... I donno, I know I wouldn't want that, it would be like living with a ghost...What made you decide to move there? kids not leaving the school district? We haven't moved in there yet. And if we do, you can bet I'll first get in an exorcist! But yes, part of it is not moving kids' schools at a critical stage, part of it is also the housing market and part of it is that it really is a very nice house - she hates it, which is partly why she tried so hard to turn it into something more "her". So she wants to move out. It's far too big for her all on her own and she's not used to lifting a finger there, so she's had to hire in an army of people to do what MM used to do and of course she finds fault with everything they do, so the turnover of service staff is massive. It's not a done deal we will move in there - it's an option we're considering at this stage. It might yet come down to selling and cutting their losses, at the moment it's all part of the D negotiations. Link to post Share on other sites
grogster Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 He must have an ulterior motive to bring you into the she-lion's den.This just can't be only about sex. The "war of the roses" subtext screams spousal revenge, contempt, spite and hostility. Bad mojo, woman. Why don't you and the MM just piss on the BS's furniture to mark your territory. If you must fu#k him, find someplace neutral--like Switzerland. Don't wipe her face in it. Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 Have I been to "my" MM's house? Sure I have and I have had lots of sex there too. Why not? I own half of it! Link to post Share on other sites
Kasan Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 ... but I would think a house is a house, a bed is a bed... Well Lizzie, I know for a fact how much you love your new apartment and consider it your sanctuary. Perhaps his wife considers their home her sanctuary, her safe place, where she can shut the door on the rest of the world. Just seems wrong to screw him in her house. You know? Link to post Share on other sites
GPFan Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 And for him to want you in their space says something about his rebellion against their marriage.Agreed, passive-aggressive acting out at its finest. He wants to be sure he gets his wife's attention now. Link to post Share on other sites
Mino Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 You're joking, right? YIKES!!! oppsie!!! typo... Me no mean " go for it" sorry Lizzie!! I am against you going to his house!! Not very nice... Link to post Share on other sites
Mino Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 We haven't moved in there yet. And if we do, you can bet I'll first get in an exorcist! But yes, part of it is not moving kids' schools at a critical stage, part of it is also the housing market and part of it is that it really is a very nice house - she hates it, which is partly why she tried so hard to turn it into something more "her". So she wants to move out. It's far too big for her all on her own and she's not used to lifting a finger there, so she's had to hire in an army of people to do what MM used to do and of course she finds fault with everything they do, so the turnover of service staff is massive. It's not a done deal we will move in there - it's an option we're considering at this stage. It might yet come down to selling and cutting their losses, at the moment it's all part of the D negotiations.ok, makes sense. i figured it was about the kids... and add the housing market into the mix... Hope you find a good exorcist!!! creepy in a way... Link to post Share on other sites
pollywag Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 I don't see why everyone is looking for all these deeper scenarios "he's being passive agressive, he is trying to get his wife's attention, he wants this or that..." Maybe he just wants to get it on with Lizzie in his new hot tub? Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 True.... but who else has been in the human soup tub? I am picturing the wife sitting back with the H in the hot tub the next day .... relaxing in Lizzies love juice .... bubblin' away. Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 True.... but who else has been in the human soup tub? I am picturing the wife sitting back with the H in the hot tub the next day .... relaxing in Lizzies love juice .... bubblin' away. Or, it is very possible that Lizzie will be sitting in the wife's love juice. The MM bought something that is now at the house where he lives with his wife. I doubt that Lizzie will be the first in the hot tub. I know if my H and I got a new hot tub, we would be in it as soon as the water got hot enough (maybe even before it got hot). Lizzie has always said that her MM are happily married, so why wouldn't the MM and his wife have a romp in their hot tub? Personally, I think it would be very disrespectful to the wife and family, but then again, I'm not Lizzie. Link to post Share on other sites
pollywag Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 Or, it is very possible that Lizzie will be sitting in the wife's love juice. The MM bought something that is now at the house where he lives with his wife. I doubt that Lizzie will be the first in the hot tub. I know if my H and I got a new hot tub, we would be in it as soon as the water got hot enough (maybe even before it got hot). Lizzie has always said that her MM are happily married, so why wouldn't the MM and his wife have a romp in their hot tub? Personally, I think it would be very disrespectful to the wife and family, but then again, I'm not Lizzie. That's not the point really, who is in it first or not. Hot tubs are like bringing a pot filled with vomit to a boil and adding sea monkeys to it. But that's a different issue though. If one is going to hot-tub, one assumes the responsibility of seething in other people's excrements. That same excrement will be left behind for the wife to also bask in so neither is better or. The point is I think the guy wants to get it on with Lizzie in the tub and that is why he invited her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted July 24, 2008 Author Share Posted July 24, 2008 I don't see why everyone is looking for all these deeper scenarios "he's being passive agressive, he is trying to get his wife's attention, he wants this or that..." Maybe he just wants to get it on with Lizzie in his new hot tub? You just nailed it.. that's all there is to it.. he just want to show me his house.. and get funkie in the hot tub.. no biggie.. I am curious to see the house and all his renovations.. he's been talking about it for weeks.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted July 24, 2008 Author Share Posted July 24, 2008 Or, it is very possible that Lizzie will be sitting in the wife's love juice. The MM bought something that is now at the house where he lives with his wife. I doubt that Lizzie will be the first in the hot tub. I know if my H and I got a new hot tub, we would be in it as soon as the water got hot enough (maybe even before it got hot). Lizzie has always said that her MM are happily married, so why wouldn't the MM and his wife have a romp in their hot tub? Personally, I think it would be very disrespectful to the wife and family, but then again, I'm not Lizzie. Yes he's happy except for the sex.. he has it about once or twice (if he's lucky) every month.. Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 You just nailed it.. that's all there is to it.. he just want to show me his house.. and get funkie in the hot tub.. no biggie.. and yes I am going to his house .. and we will f.. but in the hot tub.. not in his bed.. I am curious to see the house and all his renovations.. he's been talking about it for weeks.. OK. now I'm confused. He's been talking about renovations for weeks, but according to the original post of this thread you haven't been talking to him lately. Link to post Share on other sites
GPFan Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 I don't see why everyone is looking for all these deeper scenarios "he's being passive agressive, he is trying to get his wife's attention, he wants this or that..." Maybe he just wants to get it on with Lizzie in his new hot tub?Most people are more mentally and emotionally complex than this. You could be correct, of course, in interpreting that this man has all the complexity and awareness of a turnip. Yes he's happy except for the sex.. he has it about once or twice (if he's lucky) every month..I don't know why it is so far out there to infer that he may be simmering with resentment over this. I am sure he didn't foresee when he married that sex would dwindle down to such a paltry (to him) amount. Even if it has always been this way and he managed to convince himself he could live with it, most ordinary people will still grow to resent it after a certain amount of time has passed. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted July 24, 2008 Author Share Posted July 24, 2008 OK. now I'm confused. He's been talking about renovations for weeks, but according to the original post of this thread you haven't been talking to him lately. no no.. we talk or text every single day.. all day and all evenings sometimes.. I said I haven't seen him for weeks.. he just felt something was up with me.. I wasn't as 'bubbly' I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 no no.. we talk or text every single day.. all day and all evenings sometimes.. I said I haven't seen him for weeks.. he just felt something was up with me.. I wasn't as 'bubbly' I guess. "I haven't seen my MM from work for a few weeks now.. I've been too busy and he was on holidays for 2 weeks... anyway.. this morning, I told him (msn) that I started to see someone else (my east indian guy)... he said he knew something was 'up' ... since I wasn't too 'talkative' recently.. (emails, msn, etc.)..." Still confused, but oh well. Link to post Share on other sites
pollywag Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 Most people are more mentally and emotionally complex than this. No actually they are not. Some people call you to say hello and see how you are doing, and literally just call you to say hello and see how you are doing. When the phone rings and it is one of your friends do you assume they are trying to sell you insurance? Or do you take the call and just have a chat? Link to post Share on other sites
pollywag Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 "I haven't seen my MM from work for a few weeks now.. I've been too busy and he was on holidays for 2 weeks... anyway.. this morning, I told him (msn) that I started to see someone else (my east indian guy)... he said he knew something was 'up' ... since I wasn't too 'talkative' recently.. (emails, msn, etc.)..." Still confused, but oh well. What are you confused about? You just quoted her saying the exact same thing she explained in the previous post. She has not "seen" the man in a while. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted July 24, 2008 Author Share Posted July 24, 2008 What are you confused about? You just quoted her saying the exact same thing she explained in the previous post. She has not "seen" the man in a while. no she's confused that I wasn't too talkative.. but yet I said we talk every day... We communicate every single day.. sometimes for most of the day (if we're not too busy at work) then most of the evening.. him watching TV at home.. but lately we don't 'text' as much.. he knew something was up.. but the reason was that I was wayyy too busy.. and I was seeing someone else... and that I just didn't feel like it.. that's all... I guess this post will 'explain' it better and she won't be as confused.. Sorry sometimes.. my post should be more 'detailed' or something.. or maybe not.. Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 What are you confused about? You just quoted her saying the exact same thing she explained in the previous post. She has not "seen" the man in a while. In my opinion when you are not "too talkative" isn't the same as: "we talk or text every single day.. all day and all evenings sometimes". Two very different things, but hey, consistency isn't really that important when it comes to Lizzie anyway. You are absolutely right, there is no reason to be confused. My bad. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted July 24, 2008 Author Share Posted July 24, 2008 In my opinion when you are not "too talkative" isn't the same as: "we talk or text every single day.. all day and all evenings sometimes". Two very different things, but hey, consistency isn't really that important when it comes to Lizzie anyway. You are absolutely right, there is no reason to be confused. My bad. a few key words.. here.. oh well.. Poly got it right away.. Link to post Share on other sites
bish Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 YIKES!!! oppsie!!! typo... Me no mean " go for it" sorry Lizzie!! I am against you going to his house!! Not very nice... I was referring to your comment: "Give the woman some respect!!" Link to post Share on other sites
Mino Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 I was referring to your comment: "Give the woman some respect!!"l LOL, cant win em all Bish ! My mm bs has no respect fo herself, so why should I... But I dont visit her home:) Link to post Share on other sites
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