Need support and strategy on NC

[drob]

Hi,

 

First post, please go easy on me. Long story short, I had an EA with a co-worker (both of us are married), we've known each other for about 2 years but things only heated up the last few months. Recently the relationship cooled off, mainly because she believed it's not right and wanted to be just friends. I respect that but at the same time I couldn't stop thinking about her. So right now I'm thinking about NC so that I can get over it.

 

But here are a few problems that I'm facing. First, she doesn't want NC, because she doesn't need it to get over our relationship. So this will be a one-sided NC which makes it a lot tougher. Second, it's hard to have NC when we still see each other everyday. Third, our families do meet each other regularly and I can't stop these gatherings since both my wife and her husband don't know about the EA.

 

I'm writing to look for support, and strategy on how to carry out this NC thing. I do plan to be her friend again once I stop having feelings with her mainly because of our families tie, but would not want to be close with her at work again. BTW changing the job is not an option right now given the poor economic environment. Any thoughts would be appreciated. Thanks.

[AdrianaLima]

I think that now you should just focus on YOUR MARRIAGE!! You seen how she realized that her actions weren't right, so you just need to accept it, and move on. Suppose you continue to try and pursue after her and may do something again,(just saying) and your wife finds out. Wouldn't you wish that you should have stopped when you were told to?

[confused999]

Tell her it's over and then don't respond to anything she does.

[drob]

I think that now you should just focus on YOUR MARRIAGE!! You seen how she realized that her actions weren't right, so you just need to accept it, and move on. Suppose you continue to try and pursue after her and may do something again,(just saying) and your wife finds out. Wouldn't you wish that you should have stopped when you were told to?

 

Thx for the advice, but I'm not worried about my marriage, the EA didn't start because I had a bad relationship with my wife. I'm looking for support and strategy for the NC part, I realize the need of NC I just don't know how I to do it properly so that I can stop thinking about my co-worker all the time.

 

Tell her it's over and then don't respond to anything she does.

 

It's over in the sense that neither of us wants to continue the EA. Right now I'm looking for advice on the NC part given the problems I have in the OP.