After One Year....She Contacted me

[Dawg88]

This is unreal. Absolutely unreal. It's been a whole year. Almost to the day. She dumped me without blinking an eye. Moved right in with another guy. I tried everything. Calls ... emails ... texts. Nothing. No repsonse. None whatsoever.

 

It's been about six months since I last tried to contact her. Then I stopped. Gave up. It was no use. Over. Completely over. Now today I get a message. She wants to know why we never got married. Are you kidding me? I had to check that message like six times just to make sure I wasn't conjuring this up in my mind.

 

Here's the amazing thing. For a whole year, I've been dreaming about this moment. Waiting ... hoping ... wondering. Now it's here ... and I feel completely empty.

 

I wonder where she's going with this?

[HopePhil]

I felt that way at first when I started talking to my ex again. I had wanted to talk to her for so long, but when I finally contacted her and we started talking, I was like 'Is this what I was waiting and dreaming for?'

 

But it starts to come back. When you remember what you DID dream and hope for, when you remember the good things you had, it slowly comes back. Then you start spending time together and you start doing things for each other and you realize that they were good in your life, it feels good.

 

But let me tell you, you will remember the bad... and it WILL still hurt, but its YOUR CHOICE to keep those feelings and thoughts away. She will have to do the same...

 

I know this because I just had some things happen yesterday... to both me and my ex. Some things she said today made me realize she is not the only one struggling with these things.

 

Good luck man. I hope it goes well for you.

 

BTW, do not answer her marriage question.

[Biker2007]

Dawg,

 

I know how you feel. I had very little closure w/my X last year at this time. I always wanted to have a talk w/ her to see if there was any chance to salvage the relationship. We did not date for very long, but it was about as intense as I have ever experienced...as suddenly as it began, she ended it. I will admit I was pretty devastated by the whole thing.

 

So over the last year, I wondered if I would ever hear from her again...about a week before the 1 year mark of our break up, I start to see her around my part of town and at places that she knows I hang out. I know she is a very stubborn person, so this may be as much effort as she can make...I am not sure. The one thing I told myself, "she will have to make an effort for me to talk to her again." I will not let her treat me like crap.

 

How did your X actually end things w/you? And what else was in her message to you?

[Habibti]

Be careful,

 

This sounds to me like a rebound..she has this idea that you will be there for her no matter what, things probably didn't work out with the last guy and now she needs attention.

[dead-dyke]

What Habibti said ~

 

This is quite possible, but very probable..... but hopefully she is sincere. Tread lightly. Take a block out of your wall, and have a peek... and no, don't answer that 'M' question. Unless of course you want to throw a catchy comeback at her. - Good luck w/ this.

[vivrantflo]

lol I laugh at selfish people like your ex.

 

So she dumps the hell out of you.. moves in with some other guy.. ignores the hell out of you for half a year... only to messege you after the sixth month asking why you two never got married....

 

Some of these women are drunk on crazy.

 

Dude, I would ignore this crap.

 

OBVIOUSLY, her $h!t didn't work out with this guy, so now she contacts you... she's stupid

 

Ignore her, and continue to move on with your life. When she dumped you, and moved in with another man.. that indirectly told you that

 

A. She doesn't want to be with you anymore.

B. She loves this other guy more than you.

C. She's willing to give him the chance to marry her, rather than give you a second chance...

 

You deserve better... and she doesn't deserve to hear from you ever again. She had many chances... 6 months worth of chances to talk to you, and ask that question.

 

But she was too busy rolling around in a sack playing house with this guy.

 

Don't give her the satisfaction of a response from you. Ignore her @ss just like she did to you for the last 6 months.

[JustinWolf]

What a .... You know the term. You've tried contacting her in every way possible and she has the guts to ask you why you guys never got married when she clearly decided to give that marriage chance to some other guy. No but seriously what is wrong with people these days. Don't reply to the message. She's probably checking if the leash is still on your neck, tell you what, it ain't. So let her know about that. You're better than that. She don't even deserve a hello from you. You see her down the street waving like a mad person at you. Look but walk away. She don't deserve it.

 

She could've said anything else on the email. No, she had to ask such a lame question. Let her bask in her own stupidness.

[Dawg88]

You know, you listen to all of the people on this forum, and they give great advice. But then, you think your situation will be different. But, it's not.

 

I spoke to her two days ago for more than 2 hours. The conversation was awesome. At the end, she asked me if we could do something on Sunday. Note: she asked me,I didn't ask her. I agreed, and said I would call her sometime on Saturday to finalize things.

 

Well, late Friday night, she emails me to say that she can't get anyone to sit with her three young daughters on Sunday and that maybe we can do it another time. I wrote a snot-ass response, and she wrote back that she promises to be in touch. The first thing that came to my mind is why didn't she call me? Why is she emailing me?

 

I am such an ass. I immediately deleted all of her numbers, emails, everything. I threw every resemblance of her out. I should have done this a year ago. I am glad it actually happened this way. For the past year, I was very hurt. But, now I'm pissed. I want no part of her. At least I'm smiling today. A year ago, I wasn't.

 

The thing that maybe someone can help me with, though, is why? Why would one person do this to another? I mean, forget about my specific situation, but why would any human treat another with such disrespect and recklessness for their feelings?

 

I have to think either she had second thoughts, maybe she's doing something else with another guy. maybe she just needed me to stroke her ego. But, why me? Why after a whole year? Why couldn't she just leave me alone if she didn't have any intention of seeing me again?

[nopainnogain]

She texts you,fine. But she has to txt "why we never got married" after a year. What happened to the good old fashioned "hey whats up" . Or someting to that nature..

[nopainnogain]

Dang,that hurts man.Best to leave sleeping dogs sleep.

[coffeemaker]

hey man - I feel your pain. Something eerily similar happened to me. She definitely showed utter disregard and disrespect for your feelings and time. I'm glad you're smiling though - the anger will pass. Just be firm about it and ignore her the next time she contacts you. Don't try and make sense of it either, don't bother - it won't help. Just let it be

[Yamaha]

In a word it is called selfishness. She was feeling down and she wanted to see if you still had it for her. It is all about her and she never really cared about your feelings.

 

It is always time to move forward, not back. Take what you learned to the next relationship.

[JustinWolf]

You know, you listen to all of the people on this forum, and they give great advice. But then, you think your situation will be different. But, it's not.

 

I spoke to her two days ago for more than 2 hours. The conversation was awesome. At the end, she asked me if we could do something on Sunday. Note: she asked me,I didn't ask her. I agreed, and said I would call her sometime on Saturday to finalize things.

 

Well, late Friday night, she emails me to say that she can't get anyone to sit with her three young daughters on Sunday and that maybe we can do it another time. I wrote a snot-ass response, and she wrote back that she promises to be in touch. The first thing that came to my mind is why didn't she call me? Why is she emailing me?

 

I am such an ass. I immediately deleted all of her numbers, emails, everything. I threw every resemblance of her out. I should have done this a year ago. I am glad it actually happened this way. For the past year, I was very hurt. But, now I'm pissed. I want no part of her. At least I'm smiling today. A year ago, I wasn't.

 

The thing that maybe someone can help me with, though, is why? Why would one person do this to another? I mean, forget about my specific situation, but why would any human treat another with such disrespect and recklessness for their feelings?

 

I have to think either she had second thoughts, maybe she's doing something else with another guy. maybe she just needed me to stroke her ego. But, why me? Why after a whole year? Why couldn't she just leave me alone if she didn't have any intention of seeing me again?

Whoa, I didn't get to read that. What a *****. Seriously, I'm happy you saw how she is and now you can fully move on with your life. You learned something here and it's something you'll get to carry with you all your life. Plus, I suggest you don't beat yourself over the fact you trusted her because plenty of us, would. I mean seriously and with all honnesty if my ex ever decided to show up, at first I'd really piss her off but a part of me would always want to trust her again but it's all going to decide the day she decides to but for now, I'm doing good and that's what counts for me. As for you, keep your head up and stay strong.

 

-justinwolf.