What are they looking for when they ask me "what are you thinking?"

[CaterpillarGirl]

Okay, so I really want to know what boys are looking for when they ask me "what are you thinking?" This question gets tossed at me when I'm out walking with them or post-make out sessions. I guess I'm not really sure what kind of response they're looking for. Should I be honest if what I'm thinking about that moment is not about them? Sometimes I'm just admiring a bird or something, but do they want me to be romantic or what?

Sometimes I am thinking about them, so I don't mind telling them that. But honestly, I don't think about a guy, even one I love a lot, every second we're together. I'm an intelligent girl. There's a lot going on up there.

Guys, what would be the ideal response to this kind of question?

[Tony T]

I sometimes ask that question if a lady is quiet for an unusual length of time or if she looks particularly reflective. I do that out of concern that something may be wrong or there may be something she would like to talk about. Most of the time, they reply that they aren't thinking about anything in particular...when I know darn well they are thinking about what a wonderful guy I am.

 

I don't think that most guys are looking to hear something about them. They are probably just a bit ill at ease because of a period of reflective silence on the part of the lady.

 

The ideal response to this question would be to say that you disclose your thoughts at the proper time and only if appropriate. Meanwhile they remain your sole property. But assure the guys you aren't thinking about them at that moment.

[CaterpillarGirl]

Thanks, Tony! That's very helpful. I never thought that it might be his concern for my comfort that made him ask the question, but I like that much better than his fishing for a compliment.