HelplessnHouston Posted August 5, 2003 Share Posted August 5, 2003 ok, i'm freaking out. i have talked to my guy friend a while back who said he would never get a massage from a man. he said that he would feel gay if he did. that it would just feel wrong. boy am i hoping he is the exeption. this is a long story that i don't want to get into, but my current, now ex, told me a couple of mornings ago (i'm used to his leaving in the morning he always has a lame excuse - he's commitment challenged) that he had to go b/c he was getting a massage from anthony. this sounded wrong to me. i got a sick feeling. i thought, "is he bisexual?" i know that i would get a massage from a female, but guys tell me it's different. it would be so wrong if he were bi and didn't tell me. i feel so betrayed and used. please tell me that it's not true, or i'll be sick. God, be with me, as I am freaking out. should i confront him? i would have thought that he would try to hide this if anything, not bring it to my attention. other women, that's awful, and wrong, but i think it's worse to find out you are being cheated on with another man. please take it easy on me. i was in love with him and very blind. thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
my_mother's_daughter Posted August 5, 2003 Share Posted August 5, 2003 Sounds to me like your thoughts are racing here. There is absolutely no point freaking out about something without the facts. As my mom always says "Worry is the interest paid on a debt you don't yet owe" so please query and get some concrete here before you explode... xx Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted August 5, 2003 Share Posted August 5, 2003 The idea of a man being gay or bisexual because he gets a message from another man is insane, immature and bizarre (not implying you are those things). If a man goes to school for a year to do all the book work and get the practical experience to become a licensed massage therapist, you can be very sure he doesn't expect to work exclusively on women. In my opinion, men get stiff necks and muscle stress in their backs as or more often than women. While more women may get massages for the pleasure of them, men who get them often look upon them as an absolute necessity. It's really hard for me to believe that any man who was in need of a massage would consider himself gay if he received it from a man....no more than he would consider himself gay if his male doctor shoved a finger up his ass to check his prostate. Your guy friend who told you he would never get a massage from a man probably has some growing up to do. There was a time I wouldn't let the doctor put his finger in my butt. We all go through these periods of weird ideas...but, thankfully, most of us get over them and become more open minded and less rigid in our thinking. This is 2003!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author HelplessnHouston Posted August 5, 2003 Author Share Posted August 5, 2003 tony, i really appreciate your quick response. and mother's daughter, too. trust me. i want what you say to be true. i only thought those things because some guys have told me this. i went into a deep panic and started crying last night because this friend of mine told me that he was definitely gay. no doubt about it he said. he said that no straight man would do this. thank you for your feedback. i don't care if people thought i was being immature, it wasn't really my own thoughts, it was other male perspectives. Link to post Share on other sites
cindy0039 Posted August 5, 2003 Share Posted August 5, 2003 I totally agree with Tony on this one. A massage therapist is a professional. They are trained to work on both men and women, regardless of sexual orientation. Massages are NOT sexual, they are for a specific purpose...not anything like the type a couple might give each other in bed for heaven's sake. Get real. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted August 5, 2003 Share Posted August 5, 2003 My husband gets massages from male massage therapists. There is nothing sexual about it. One of the therapists is a good friend of ours who just completed school. He is gay and he said that he is so focused on the muscles and routine, etc., that it is totally non-sexual to him too. I'm sure some guys are insecure enough to be threatened by a male massuse, but not all men feel that way. Link to post Share on other sites
Curt Posted August 5, 2003 Moderators Share Posted August 5, 2003 It's really hard for me to believe that any man who was in need of a massage would consider himself gay if he received it from a man....no more than he would consider himself gay if his male doctor shoved a finger up his ass to check his prostate. ...thankfully, most of us get over them and become more open minded and less rigid... I will apologize in advance for this one... Here's hoping the doctor's finger wasn't too rigid, either. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted August 5, 2003 Share Posted August 5, 2003 CURT WRITES: "Here's hoping the doctor's finger wasn't too rigid, either." Nah, actually it's my favorite part of the ole annual physical. HAH!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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