balexa5701 Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 Well there are two guys in this problem that bothers me. My fiancee used to have a crush on this guy Chris. They made out and talked. They ended up not dating because one of her frends did something...not sure. Well he started talking to her again. She tells me that sheisn't worried about him that she loves me...it honest to god seems genuine so I believe her. Well they stay talking on the phone with each other longer than the two of us talk. I said I didn't like and she got mad. She said I didn't trust her. Well they stopped talking... he didn't want to put pressure on her. New guy, a good friend of mine, Daniel. He is single... and he was dumped by a friend of mine... he is talking fiancee now! I know my girlfriend would mess with him but i have this uneasy feeling that he is hitting on her. I got jealous on both occassions is it natural, am I over reacting, what? I don't care if she talks to guys but i get jealous if she texts and talks to them every day. Is it wrong or should I ask her to limit it to every other day or more? Help? Advice? Anything? Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 Hello, You are not out of line. If the roles were reversed do you honestly think she would accept such behavior from you? If you are engaged to her now God help you after you are married. She is not acting like a person who is engaged. I think this is a huge red flag. Would you be willing to spend the rest of your life like this? Link to post Share on other sites
Author balexa5701 Posted July 28, 2008 Author Share Posted July 28, 2008 Eveytime she talks to someone she constantly tell people that we a engaged...i trust her, i just don't trust other people. people consistently turn their backs on people and I know she gonna say no to them. it pisses me off that they don't respect her enough to not flirt with her. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 You have to have faith that she will say no to other men. Question - Why is she so friendly though with other men? New guy, a good friend of mine, Daniel. He is single... and he was dumped by a friend of mine... he is talking fiancee now! She seems to NEED attention, your love isn't enough. Is she insecure or something? Link to post Share on other sites
Author balexa5701 Posted July 28, 2008 Author Share Posted July 28, 2008 Honestly... i don't know...I think she feels more than secure...she is only 17 now, it could just be friends...god she has a lot of those..she likes to make new friends... i have no problem with that... i just get a wired vibe from these two. Our relationship is built on faith and we plan on keeping it that way Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 Can I ask how old you are? You say she's your fiancee, then later say girlfriend.. She is so young to be considering marriage. People change SO much in their teens, into their 20's.. It's OK to have friends, but if she has more male friends than female friends, this could be an attention thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author balexa5701 Posted July 28, 2008 Author Share Posted July 28, 2008 Girlfriend is easier to say than fiancee because its easier to type I have to think about the other one to spell it. We have diferent reason why we decieded so young. She hasn't got many male friends and most of them I trust. Like I just said though these to give me a weird vibe Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 Listen to your gut then, and just pay attention to how much time she spends talking to YOUR friend. Personally, I find that odd, but then again, I'm not 17 anymore. At that age, most want to be friends with anyone and everyone, but as one grows older, atleast I'm this way, I'm pickier on who I want in my life and my standards are much higher now than when I was a teen. Link to post Share on other sites
theobserver Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 I feel most of us guys in relationships always have those friends we know we wouldn't trust with our girlfriends in a room alone just because of the way they are regardless if it's our girlfriends and we also get vibes like that off random males on the scene. Fact is some guys and women love going after taken partners it's a conquest and I'm always wary of guys who have recently broke up with their partner and feel the need to call my wife as well as women who feel the need to contact me after they have gone through a breakup. As you get older and as she does she'll learn to keep these conversations brief it's also a good idea to politely (though she should come to this conclusion herself but you can sway her) to tell him to cut down the flirting there will always be subtle flirting but when it's excessive it's a red flag and contact should be minimalised if her requests to tone it down aren't met. I think the best way to deal with this is to speak to her about your concerns but please don't be a p*ssy about this. You have to look serious that while you understand the guy went through a break up your sure he's had enough recovery now and he doesn't need to be contacting you all the time for every little issue. I will bet she might get mad (if she agrees that cutting some contact down is a good idea then never mind the below) and if she does get mad say this. "why don't we arrange a little arranged date for him, he's clearly lonely right" Her reaction to this will reveal a lot. If she's very hostile to the idea I would begin to suspect she's already considering him a potential new mate. Also I agree with Which' that at that age most teens are just mingling with anyone for friendship but I also used to notice 80% of the people dating will break up within a month usually from a heated argument or someone cheating. There used to be girls I liked who had boyfriends but I knew if I could get in good standing with them as a close "friend" by texting, calling and hanging out with them when possible then by the time they inevitably broke up it would be easy to swoop in. Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 I don't get it, why does she need to spend so much time on the phone with a guy she made out with, and then YOUR friend? I'm a bit confused as to what reasoning she is giving for this, other than attention whore. Oh and she is 17? Yikes, I'd watch out. Some females get the idea in their head that they haven't "lived life" unless they've screwed multiple men. Link to post Share on other sites
Author balexa5701 Posted July 29, 2008 Author Share Posted July 29, 2008 Thanks for the insight. Yall have been a great help. I don't think she would be be looking for a mate anytome soon. I give her more than she needs, if four and five times every time isn't enough well then she has problems lol. Link to post Share on other sites
nopainnogain Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 Some females get the idea in their head that they haven't "lived life" unless they've screwed multiple men. lol....I hate that sheeit Link to post Share on other sites
Author balexa5701 Posted July 30, 2008 Author Share Posted July 30, 2008 After careful examination of my previous text I made an error. In the begging post it should say "my girlfriend WOULD NOT mess with him". Sorry about this typo Link to post Share on other sites
jalexa0905 Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 well mr. balexa. it seems to me that you don't understand your fiancee likes to talk to a lot of people. I understand why you would feel jealous. however i am sure he has confronted both guys and told them she only wishes to be friends. she talks to them because they are silly and filled with new stories . in my point of view you have nothing to worry about because she is madly in love with you and heck if she is your FIANCEE she probably wants to spend the rest of her life with you. and could care less about a couple of strangers. as for your friend don't worry if he is hitting on her she will put a stop to it. and the other guy the chris fellow . they have stopped talking ...you said it yourself. but then again what do i know ...right. I AM JUST YOUR FIANCEE THE GIRL THAT LOVES YOU AND WANTS TO SPEND THE REST OF HER LIFE WITH YOU. Link to post Share on other sites
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