Guest Posted August 5, 2003 Share Posted August 5, 2003 I am newly dating a guy and it seems that when we talk on the phone, and only on the phone, he seems to only talk about himself, and rarely asks about me.I find it odd cause I am learning about him but he doesnt seem to be wanting to learn about me. Why do you think he does this over the phone? I want him to learn more about me, what should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
my_mother's_daughter Posted August 5, 2003 Share Posted August 5, 2003 Make statements that would normally invite a response in an adult conversation such as "Ohmigod, you wouldn't believe what happened today..." etc. If he doesn't bite, then he's one of my pet hates, one of those people who don't want to listen, even when they do listen, they're just using their pause to construct their next sentence (about themselves....) I had (notice the past tense) a platonic friend who used to do this. A typical conversation would be: me: "I went into town today to look at the new bookstore" friend: "Really? Anyway, me me me me me me. And then I said..." After your question inviting statements If he keeps doing it say something cos it will eventually drive you crazy. Besides which above all else, it's just plain rude. If he wants a one sided conversation he can speak to himself.... Link to post Share on other sites
Carly Posted August 5, 2003 Share Posted August 5, 2003 This guy cares too much about himself and his own needs to be a a sharing and caring relationship. You can "train" him to talk about you occassionally, but he will only do it minimally, to keep you going as his narcissistic provider. Look up narcissistic personality disorder on the internet. He may not have all the characteristics of a full-blown disorder, but self-focussed conversation is a very strong trait that will bug the hell out of you more and more over time. Research shows that this trait only gets worse -- not better -- over time. Unless you are willing to be a dedicated listener to his self-centred needs, you should say just say good-bye to this guy -- but don't bother thinking up a long explanation cause he probably won't listen anyway. Just say good-bye and walk. Head for the hills and never look back. Link to post Share on other sites
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