blair08 Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 Of course. But we've made a lifetime commitment. Honoring that commitment is more important, (to some people) than giving up because of our own desires.....I don't know if that makes sense, or perhaps it really is a4a and I being the, "ill" ones in our relationships..... Well I'm not knocking someone for their choices, but it doesn't mean I agree with or understand them. When you're unhappy and your partner isn't treating you right, for whatever the reason(s) may be, exactly who are you honoring? You're not honoring yourself or your spouse or even the relationship as a whole to stay in a unhappy relationship. It almost like saying, I wasn't happy most of my marraige, I was abused, or this happened or that, but dammit I stayed, just to say I did. Link to post Share on other sites
JackJack Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 Of course. But we've made a lifetime commitment. Honoring that commitment is more important, (to some people) than giving up because of our own desires.....I don't know if that makes sense, or perhaps it really is a4a and I being the, "ill" ones in our relationships..... Honoring your commitment is more important that being in a happy, healthy relationship? You can't place importance of honor on a relationship that doesn't have that, or I wouldn't think so anyway. As far as you or a4a being the "ill" ones. Its possible that your "ill" spouses have gotten to you, and therefore you might just be partly "ill." I do truly believe people who stay in unhappy situations, that it can have that kind of effect on them. I know that if I were being treated like Mrs. Moose has treated you, or the way a4a's hubby has treated her, I would be long gone, and it doesn't have anything to do with me not wanting to honor a commitment. It has to do with self respect/worth, happiness and sanity. I think I might start another thread on this very topic. Link to post Share on other sites
PandorasBox Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 Of course. But we've made a lifetime commitment. Honoring that commitment is more important, (to some people) than giving up because of our own desires.....I don't know if that makes sense, or perhaps it really is a4a and I being the, "ill" ones in our relationships..... Moose, are you meaning honoring your commitment based on in the eyes of God? I ask this because I know you're a pretty religous person. If that's the case, do you really feel God would want you to stay in an unhappy situation? Do you really feel you'll burn in the firey pits below because you got out of something harmful to you? I might be wrong, but I was thinking there was a time way back when, when you weren't the best to Mrs. Moose yourself, and now that shes not the best to you, maybe you feel you're deserving of that kind of treatment, and that might be why you stay more so than not? Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmasMuse Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 I think for some people, whenever "enough is enough" for them, is when they will seek to get out of the situation. I persaonlly believe there is always a way out of something if one wants out bad enough. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 maybe it's about the hope that the person you care about will come to a realization that "this" is not how it's supposed to be. And because you're the "stronger" one you can bear it just a bit longer ... I know that's what ultimately kept me in the marriage when DH's drinking got really bad. Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 Moose, are you meaning honoring your commitment based on in the eyes of God? I ask this because I know you're a pretty religous person. If that's the case, do you really feel God would want you to stay in an unhappy situation? Do you really feel you'll burn in the firey pits below because you got out of something harmful to you? I might be wrong, but I was thinking there was a time way back when, when you weren't the best to Mrs. Moose yourself, and now that shes not the best to you, maybe you feel you're deserving of that kind of treatment, and that might be why you stay more so than not?WHOA!!!! That hit me deep.... Very deep. I think you may be on to something....this is starting to get scary... I don't want to get into religion in this thread, so we'll leave that out, but you've personally touched on somethin..... Link to post Share on other sites
PandorasBox Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 WHOA!!!! That hit me deep.... Very deep. I think you may be on to something....this is starting to get scary... I don't want to get into religion in this thread, so we'll leave that out, but you've personally touched on somethin..... Ohhhh, I'm sorry Moose, I didn't mean to upset you! That wasn't my intention. I was just wondering and asking if maybe that was the case. I may be way off base though. I understand about the religion thing too and not wanting to get into that. Now I feel kind of bad. Link to post Share on other sites
Haloandhorns85 Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 OMG he mows the lawn for me..... Post shrinky dink phone call the H tells me he does all these wonderful things for me. :rolleyes: Men you have got to learn that the lawn mowing does not count as a "loving gift" to your wife. More so when you ignore her other requests and needs. this is like a wife telling you she washed your socks along with the other laundry so you should know she loves you regardless if you have not had sex in 10 years....... regardless of your protests and pleas. - But I washed your socks!!!!! The lawn is the lawn..... if single or married the lawn must be mowed. (this is an example I actually mow the lawn too) It is indeed a Tater kinda day. LOL! This made me laugh because I can SOOO relate! A couple of weeks ago, I mowed the front lawn...get this...for my bf. He usually mows the yard and had been working a bit more. He comes in a couple days later and asked me to go get him some beer while he does something nice for me...lol...he mowed the back yard! For me! LOL! I told him "excuse me? How is mowing the yard for me? Hell, I thought I mowed the front yard for you!" LOL! Needless to say, he's not mowing for me anymore...he's mowing because the grass is high and cooks dinner as a nice thing for me while I go get his beer! I was amazed and blown away by him saying he was mowing the yard for ME! LOL! Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 Ohhhh, I'm sorry Moose, I didn't mean to upset you! That wasn't my intention. I was just wondering and asking if maybe that was the case. I may be way off base though. I understand about the religion thing too and not wanting to get into that. Now I feel kind of bad. Oh no....I'm not upset....you've just hit on a point I never considered. The more I think about the more I think you're on to something....PLEASE don't feel bad! Link to post Share on other sites
PandorasBox Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 Oh no....I'm not upset....you've just hit on a point I never considered. The more I think about the more I think you're on to something....PLEASE don't feel bad! What point did I maybe hit on? Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 maybe you feel you're deserving of that kind of treatment,This part mainly....but now that you've brought it to my attention, I'll probably begin to think differently and build on that....maybe take some ground back? Link to post Share on other sites
PandorasBox Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 This part mainly....but now that you've brought it to my attention, I'll probably begin to think differently and build on that....maybe take some ground back? Well, I'm sure you know in your mind that you're not really deserving of that kind of treatment, just as she wasn't back when. I'm sure things are better than they were before with you and Mrs. Moose, maybe just not quite where you'd like them to be though. That's kind of hard to do sometimes though when one is putting more effort in than the other. I hope a4a is ok today too. Haven't seen her back on. Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 I hope a4a is ok today too. Haven't seen her back on.You and me both. I'll email her and see if she responds.....I'll keep you posted.... Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 Word is, same ole' same ole', a4a is slammed at work...we'll hear something soon...stay tuned... Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 Word is, same ole' same ole', a4a is slammed at work...we'll hear something soon...stay tuned... Again! Why am I not surprised!?!? Good to know she has not changed much. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts