unhappy Posted August 5, 2003 Share Posted August 5, 2003 i met my boyfriend on a singles dating site 3 months ago. In the beginning he really tried to woo me and sent me roses, best restaurants, etc. I have always been very appreciative and have given him his space. In the beginning when I asked him to do something for me Ie: hang up a picture in my apartment he would with no problem. However, within a few months he stopped following through on many instances when I asked him. He just said ok later, and never mentioned it again. He moved 10 hours away a month ago and I haven't seen him since. He came back home last saturday (he said for his mother, didn't mention me) and at the last minute said he couldnt see me because he had 3 take home finals. I was devestated and told him I don't think that he is ready for a relationship with me. So we broke up. I called a few hours later telling him that i spoke too hastily and I would like to talk this through. He logged onto the dating service during this time even after he got my message and updated his singles profile to his new location. I suspended my membership a month ago and let him know that, but he never suspended his. He recently logged on again, I check up on him using my friend's profile. I recently confronted him on this and told him I know he logged on. He accused me of spying on him. I told him that it really hurts me knowing that my boyfriend who I am exclusive with is logging onto the singles site still with an active updated profile. He said that he logs on to view the girls that his friends are dating and not for himself. I told him I don't fully trust him. That was the end of our conversation. This was a few days ago and he hasn't called since. I think its over. I just think that if he really really cared about me he wouldn't let me go that quickly. I'm thinking about calling him because I miss him very much. Maybe he was telling the truth about logging on for his friends and now since he thinks I spied on him he doesn't trust me? I just keep thinking I did something wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
maskee28 Posted August 5, 2003 Share Posted August 5, 2003 There's no point in calling him, it's over. You were only dating for two months when he left a month ago, and he didn't even bother to stop in to say hi the one time he came back to visit. I don't think there's a grain of truth to him logging on to the dating site to view the girls his friends are seeing. If that was the only reason, then why did he update his profile to his new location? Why would it matter that his location be accurate if he's not still looking? I don't think you did anything wrong...just don't call him. If he wants to contact you, he knows where you are. Link to post Share on other sites
Author unhappy Posted August 5, 2003 Author Share Posted August 5, 2003 Yes, but what I just don't understand how his feelings for me could so rapidly change. He said he updated his profile to his new location because I was the one that broke up with him (he didn't mention that I called and said i want to talk about it a few hours later) and that he thought I moved on. But he got my message and I feel should have waited before updating his profile. Also a month ago he invited me to his graduation and to meet his parents. That night he told me that he's crazy about me and that he's never felt this way with anyone before. I just don't want to let this go... maybe he's waiting for me to call him... Link to post Share on other sites
maskee28 Posted August 5, 2003 Share Posted August 5, 2003 I just don't want to let this go... maybe he's waiting for me to call him... I can pretty much guarantee he knows where you stand right now. I'm sure he's completely aware that you're eager to get back together. The best thing for you to do would be to wait - don't call him - and see if he calls you. If he has an ounce of interest left in this relationship, you not contacting him is going to tweak his curiousity, and then he'll be calling you. Link to post Share on other sites
michiganmale27 Posted August 5, 2003 Share Posted August 5, 2003 I agree with the last post. Simply ignore the guy for awhile, if he is in love with you, he is going to be wondering why you haven't been contacting him. It is a silly third grade game, this I know, but even adults in their middle 20's still play this childish game. I honestly say you deserve better. Don't buy into the fact that he is "checking up on old girlfriends" by keeping an active membership in the online dating game. Out of sight, doesn't necessarily mean out of mind to a guy sometimes. Give it a try, it can't hurt. In the meantime begin playing the field again, you deserve better than this guy. Good luck! We're here for you Link to post Share on other sites
my_mother's_daughter Posted August 5, 2003 Share Posted August 5, 2003 Sorry, my opinion is you're being fed a whopper. No longer single, no longer a need to surf the single sites. Link to post Share on other sites
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