No one should ever get married!!

[Touche]

I find myself being pathetic right now thats the first time I told anyone that and it over the internet

 

But that's good. I mean we're ALL "pathetic" sometimes you know?

 

That's the first step toward change..when you can admit something like that.

 

You're probably not as bad as you think though. We tend to be our harshest critics.

 

Maybe you should start another thread to talk about this stuff?

 

Or just do it here I guess. Whatever you want to do.

 

It's good to get this stuff out. Then maybe you can change some things. Get it out. Get rid of it and then look to change some things.

 

You're totally in charge of your life. No one else. You don't have to be a victim of your past you know.

[annieo]

well why would I go to a professional wouldn't he just want to give me drugs anyway?

Not necessarily. It is worth a try. And if it doesn't work for you, don't go back and find another way.

There is always another way (I know of which I speak).

[Touche]

well why would I go to a professional wouldn't he just want to give me drugs anyway?

 

Not necessarily. And you don't have to take them anyway. You're in charge. Remember that.

[Staring]

But that's good. I mean we're ALL "pathetic" sometimes you know?

 

That's the first step toward change..when you can admit something like that.

 

You're probably not as bad as you think though. We tend to be our harshest critics.

 

Maybe you should start another thread to talk about this stuff?

 

Or just do it here I guess. Whatever you want to do.

 

It's good to get this stuff out. Then maybe you can change some things. Get it out. Get rid of it and then look to change some things.

 

You're totally in charge of your life. No one else. You don't have to be a victim of your past you know.

 

honestly movies more disturbing then saw could made from my life

 

edit- How does saying somthing help you I just dont understand that

[Touche]

honestly movies more disturbing then saw could made from my life

 

edit- How does saying somthing help you I just dont understand that

 

That's terrible. But the rest of your life can be like a good and happy movie. A "feel good" movie.

 

It helps to say it to someone because you're getting it out. You're not bottling it up inside. You have people who can talk to you about things and help you understand and put things into perspective.

 

We all have had bad things happen in our lives. No one goes through life without some bad stuff happening. By talking about it you can heal and get it out.

 

Do you see that? Can you understand?

 

I mean you've already said you've said things here you've never told anyone. Why did you do that? Didn't it help you feel better...just a bit?

 

The more you get it out, the better I think you'll feel.

 

And then you can get rid of it all. Throw it away in a sense. And make a better future. Don't let your past define you.

[Staring]

Ya actually it did... I was left in a house once for a week at like age 6 because my mom felt the need to have sex at her boyfriends who lived across the state

[Touche]

Ya actually it did... I was left in a house once for a week at like age 6 because my mom felt the need to have sex at her boyfriends who lived across the state

 

That's terrible! It makes me mad. She's a terrible mother. Horrible. No wonder you feel the way you do. It's only natural. You're perfectly normal to feel anger and resentment.

 

But now that you're older you can't let her still ruin your life. She has no right. Don't let her take over your whole life and ruin the rest of it!

 

Gosh I get so angry when I read stuff like this. I'm a mom myself with a son and a stepson.

 

Have you ever thought of writing her a letter telling her what you really think? It might do you some good. Get it all out with her.

[Staring]

It is kinda funny actually I think she feels guilty so she gives me money every month I would reject but im poor and in college and i wouldn't eat without it

[Touche]

It is kinda funny actually I think she feels guilty so she gives me money every month I would reject but im poor and in college and i wouldn't eat without it

 

Of course you shouldn't reject the money. I sure hope she DOES feel guilty. And it's the least she can do for you now. Take it and use it and finish school and make a better life for yourself. She should be ashamed of herself but at least now she's helping you.

 

And I'd her that letter some day. Maybe wait until you finish school though.

[Staring]

That's terrible! It makes me mad. She's a terrible mother. Horrible. No wonder you feel the way you do. It's only natural. You're perfectly normal to feel anger and resentment.

 

But now that you're older you can't let her still ruin your life. She has no right. Don't let her take over your whole life and ruin the rest of it!

 

Gosh I get so angry when I read stuff like this. I'm a mom myself with a son and a stepson.

 

Have you ever thought of writing her a letter telling her what you really think? It might do you some good. Get it all out with her.

 

It is kinda funny actually I think she feels guilty so she gives me money every month I would reject but im poor and in college and i wouldn't eat without it

 

Its not all bad my mom wanted custodiy to avoid child support and my dad sold his house and then got a loan to pay for the attornies to make sure that didn't happen

[Touche]

Ok, well I have to go now. I hope things get better for you. Keep posting here.

 

Good night.

[Staring]

Of course you shouldn't reject the money. I sure hope she DOES feel guilty. And it's the least she can do for you now. Take it and use it and finish school and make a better life for yourself. She should be ashamed of herself but at least now she's helping you.

 

And I'd her that letter some day. Maybe wait until you finish school though.

 

It may be another reason not guilt... She would have sex with men and if she got pregnant she ask to get married to get half ect... and if they said no to marriage she would just get abortion I think she had like 10

[Touche]

It may be another reason not guilt... She would have sex with men and if she got pregnant she ask to get married to get half ect... and if they said no to marriage she would just get abortion I think she had like 10

 

OMG, well your mother is clearly a sick individual. You need to concentrate on yourself and not worry about her issues.

[Woggle]

I don't agree that nobody should be married but people need to do it with much caution. I understand why you feel the way you do though. With the walkaway wife trend and the cheating as liberation brand of feminism who can blame a man for being afraid? I grew up around a bunch of mean women who found joy in causing men pain emotionally and even physically and it made me hate women for a long time. I am still not fully okay but today I do realize that not all women are satan's spawn. Just make sure you really know a woman before you commit to her and if she does you wrong cut her loose and give your love to a woman that deserves it.

[Lovely Disaster]

I don't see the big deal with getting married. Really, it's just a piece of paper and you can live with someone and have just as much love without that piece of paper.

 

I do want to get married but lots and lots more people aren't feeling the need for the piece of paper.

[OWoman]

well why would I go to a professional wouldn't he just want to give me drugs anyway?

 

Staring - the professional may be she, not he depending on what works best for you. Sometimes same sex, sometimes opposite, depending on what the issues are.

 

Drugs will depend on the nature of the issue, and what kind of professional. If you go to a psychologist, they are not qualified to dispense drugs and would give you talk therapy. If they thought you needed drugs, they'd refer you to a psychiatrist who could give you drugs. But a qualified person would assess your needs and depending on the diagnosis, suggest therapy with or without the assistance of drugs. If you have an issue with drugs, you'd also be free to say so. Some people manage fine without.

[Staring]

OMG, well your mother is clearly a sick individual. You need to concentrate on yourself and not worry about her issues.

 

I don't worry about her issues I was merely thinking of other reasons, out of curiosity

[Jersey Shortie]

They say men are happier while married.

[Staring]

Ya thats why it is so easy to take advantage of them

[Staring]

my moms and grandma total of 8 husband would disagree with you

[angryyoungman70]

They say men are happier while married.

 

Who says this? Women?

[Jersey Shortie]

my moms and grandma total of 8 husband would disagree with you

 

 

And there we find the truth.

 

I find that man or woman that rally against marriage, have had a negative experience with it. It isn't so much that they hate marriage but are reflecting their own personal negative experience with it.

 

Truth is, both men and women can get easily screwed in a marriage. Making yourself open to another person who you should trust is putting yourself in a vulnerable situation. Sometimes men really do get screwed over in court and it isn't fair. Sometimes women get screwed over too. For example a man leaving his 40+ year old wife for the 20 year old chick pea. To say that men are the only ones that make a sacrifice in a marriage is ridiculous. Finacial means aren't the only way people get screwed over.

 

 

Who says this? Women?

 

 

They have done studies on it.

[Staring]

That is a very biased study it doesn't take into account people who don't want to get married and it doesn't consider the effects that divorce have either ( they probably studied happily married couples)

[Staring]

THIS is a HUGE problem. You put on a false front in real life? How sad for you.

 

The thing is, for a good relationship you wait for that person who loves the real you. So you don't want to get married? Fine. But just open up your heart to the possibility that all women are NOT like those you've known up to now. Because let me tell you right now - we aren't. I'm the one who would risk the most by marriage. I own my own property and home and have a pension. If I get married (without a prenup) and later divorce, I lose half of that. I base what I want in a man on his level of honesty, his caring and common courtesy, his love making (is he a thoughtful lover?), and yes - his income. I don't care how much he makes as long as he at least supports himself. Hell, he doesn't need to make as much as I do. I just don't want a dead beat who jumps from job to job who is occasionally unemployed. Seen too many guys like that.

 

Lighten up buddy and open up your eyes. And be yourself. You are all that you have, and if you lose yourself by feeling you have to put on some false persona, then what's left?

 

It feels pretty good actually duping everyone... I laugh about it a lot

[Lizzie60]

Living life is a risk everyday. I could get hit by a car tomorrow, all because I crossed the road.

 

Nice attitude buddy. Keep that up, you'll be a lonely old man, in diapers, waiting to die. Alone.

 

 

I wonder ... does marriage guarantee a 'helper' (nurse, babysitter) when you get old.. I don't think so.. you can lose your partner at any time.. there is no guarantee..